So something was brought up tonight at my young adults group, which made me think. The speaker asked us to think about the things which open the door for Satan to get a hold of us… I eventually thought of things… like being busy, finding something else to do rather then spending time with God, and doing other things rather than reading God’s word. Now these are all fine and dandy, but, beside those things, which a good majority of us suffer from (at least here in the Seattle Metro area), I couldn’t and still have not thought of other real hard core things. This scares me, there must be something, I don’t want to get to the point that I don’t know what I need to work on!

So far though, I know of these things:

Get more into the word, instead of finding other things to do.

Stop being afraid to just study my Bible where ever I want (work, school, parks, etc).

Continue to bounce lustful thoughts out of my head.

And a new goal, try and be encouraging about everything!

So, pray for me, I?m praying for you, we are all in this together, and it can only get better from hear!

Now I know I just blogged like three min ago… but I have this to say. I love comments, good and bad, but especially the bad. You know why? Because all I want to do is grow, and if someone doesn’t understand, doesn’t agree, or has something to shed truth onto, I love to listen. The Holy Spirit leads us to the truth, and lets us know of false teaching, so listen, I love to! Just something that popped into my head; that’s all for now folks.

So here I stand. Waiting for you. Where do I go next?

So I did, I hit my goal, one month of staying clean of the grasp of my past!

Now a new goal, boy if I can do a month, I can do eternity!

I’m surrounded by love; I?m exploding with wonder, awe, and excitement!

Finally i’ve gone step by step and followed you, you know what? It works, one step at a time, it works.

The first step, staying out of Satan?s grasp on my past.

The second step, working for you by getting to work on time, I?m still on this step, but I?ve got momentum now.

All I have is you to thank!

So be it.

Hello all welcome to the continuing saga of me, I?ve been trying to make this site a place of encouragement, and at least that was my original intention. So? I?m at a lost for words right now, I feel like I?ve let my self down in this endeavor. But this is just a sign of how I?ve been feeling the last few weeks, like a let down. I?ve put these expectations on my self; all I want to do is make relationships with people, which screams Christ. But I always feel like this doesn?t happen. I?m either not outgoing enough, or I never steer the conversations to Christ; I never let myself have the opportunity.

I don?t believe there is a ?pinnacle? to Christianity, but what happens when you reach the point that all you want to do is share Christ with people, and to serve? What?s next? Now I know I?m almost 21, and I have a lot more to learn, but right now I feel like I?m camping? I?m growing spiritually, I?m learning a lot, things are going great in my life, but what else can I do? The scary thing is? full time ministry? I?ve been so against the idea for so long, mostly because I feel like, how can I do anything to reach the ?pre-Christ? if I?m around Christians all the time? Okay, so I need to pray, I don?t know what else to do.

And the last thing; I have spent much time fretting over the idea of my brother being baptized. Has he really made the decision from his heart to follow Christ? Is he just doing it because people have told him? Why? I called him on Friday hoping that he would go to the show that night, but he never returned my call? big surprise. So I?ve decided to just pray about it, try to talk to him about it, and let Jesus do the rest of the work. But until that day Feb 16th, I?m going to be full of anxiety.

.: prayers, prayer requests :.

God you are so awesome, you do things in such strange ways, but they are the perfect way.

God I ask for you to just give me a peace, or lead me in the direction I should be going in respect to my brother and family.

God please help me change to show your glory in all I do, I want to honor you in all I do.

God I thank you for just being there at all times, showing yourself, and I thank you more than anything that my brother and family are opening up to you.

God, you know my heart, you know my ideas, I just ask for you to make clear what I need to do, help me to encourage people all the time, I want to shine for you!

Lighthouse.

A beacon of safety.

Standing strong at the shores of life.

Guiding lives to the rock, you stand upon.

A glorious light, seen afar by many.

So glorious, that the closest to you, can not look at you.

I want to be you, at least reflect you.

Since Tuesday.

On Monday night I had a huge database that I was working on, infact I worked on it so hard, that I got no sleep that night, went to work Tuesday all day, and continued until about 11:30 that night? ugh? never again.

Last Saturday I sent out an email to Foursquare Missions, the pastors at my church, and to the missionaries currently in Poland who I will be working with, asking for help in setting up funds, prayer support, and all that kind of stuff. I heard back from all of them with in two days, it was a little overwhelming. Foursquare missions said that unless something changes, I can?t go under them directly because they have no ordained pastors in Poland to work under, and the people I want to go with don?t work under Foursquare, I understand all the procedures, and I have no hard feelings, they just won?t be the way for me to get there. My church wants to meet with me and learn more about what I feel I am being called to, and the people in Poland just sent me more information, I need to email them about the new news I have and what I think needs to be done, I?ve prayed a lot and I feel like am to go about this the same way they did, through the existing organization.

I also learn that my brother dropped all of his classes in hopes of getting a job in Portland, OR, which I never supported the idea to begin with. He ends up not getting the job (he says he has a ?slim? chance of it still), so now he?s dropped all his classes and lost his health insurance, and at this point he hadn?t told my parents he didn?t get the job. He also now has no car, so he?s borrowing from my parents. So I went and talked to my mom a couple of days later and found out he?s decided to move anyway to Portland, and live with a friend, and he?s leaving on the 2nd of Feb.

So the next day my mom leaves me a voice message to call her back, which is pretty normal, so I put it off until I?m off work. She asks me if I got her Christmas present done (my brother and I are putting together a CD of their favorite songs, for my parents, but it?s taken a little longer than I thought, mostly because of the lack of time), she then proceeds to tell me, on the 16th of February my brother is getting baptized! This shocks me out of my mind? The last time I talked to my brother about baptizing he didn?t know exactly what it meant, except his Boss was kind of pushing the idea (his Boss has been inviting him to church, which is awesome, praise God) and telling him he had to be baptized, this of course made me nervous, because being baptized should be a reaction of your heart, a personal decision, a public announcement that you have made the decision to follow Christ and everything he teaches. I told him this, so I can only pray that this is the decision he made.

I?m also a little wigged out by the Idea of going to Church with my family, this has never happened in my entire life, plus the idea of going to a charismatic church, I have no problem with this, since becoming Christian I?ve always attended a charismatic church, but my parents do not come from any kind of charismatic background, so this will be interesting. Another thing which has bothered me, but I?m okay with now, is the fact that my parents didn?t make any fuss over my baptism, and didn?t see me get baptized. So I just ask for prayer, for wisdom, the will of God, for me to be a light and for this whole situation to be a light, a door, a new beginning for my entire family!

Also I just ask for prayer for my friends, once again I believe Satan is causing animosity, confusion, hurt, and misunderstanding between my friends. In fact there is so much happening, I want to have a prayer time sometime in the next week or so, just a time to worship and praise God and pray for everything from this I?ve mentioned above to anything else in anyone?s life.

Oh yeah, by the way… I had my fix of Christian Emo Rock, it was great!

Sleeper/ written by Andrew Martin + Trey Pearson

The seas overtaken with fire, men giving into their own desires. The world wrapped up in itself, not even noticing truly what is wealth. And I don?t know what to do. And I?m waiting for you. Wake up O sleeper, rise from the dead and Christ will shine on you. Lay there no longer it?s time to arise and never go back through. Scared of the thoughts, the way you?re in, wanting to get out of this sin. You look around and just feel walls, and can?t get out of this eternal crawl. And I don?t know what to do. And I?m waiting for You?

[everyday sunday]