I’m feeling particularly good tonight. I had a regular Thursday routine but it was good. First I woke up at the God awful time of 6:00am, but got out of bed at 6:45, 15 min before I was to be at work, which is a 20 min drive. But at least I got to work closer to the start time rather than the end time.

All day at work, I was tired, CRU was incredible last night but as usual we stayed up late, I love hanging out with all those people, it’s so uplifting. As I was at work, I tried to remember to do everything to honor God, but I realize I am so human, it is so hard to be cheerful at everything you do, especially when you??re tired. But when I am unusually polite and patient with someone, it is so worth it! Because I??m the youngest person at my place of work, a lot of times I feel under appreciated, this is that selfish thing in me telling me I’m worth more, but in all reality none of that matters, that is gratifying. I still get upset over it, I want to be recognized, but I know if I truly work for the LORD I will be recognized, where it counts.

I had a really boring, semi-informative meeting today during work, the speaker was so passionate about his job, I kept thinking, wow, this guy really enjoys his job… thing is, he does almost the same thing I do, except he’s thirty something and has even more work to do. Then I realized why I’m so sick of my job, I’m bored to death, I’m so bored I don’t want to do the little things, so I don’t. This in turn makes people think I’m unreliable, which I guess I am to a certain extent. I want to be a person of integrity, but it is so hard when I really hate doing what I??m doing, I’m not learning much right now, I just want to learn.

It was really sad to hear that Mr. Rogers died, that was a serious wake up call for me. Mr. Rogers was an intergral part of my childhood, this was truly a sad day. A moment of space to honor him and his ministry…

So, the rest of the day was blah, I missed my lunch because the meeting went forever, and I missed my break, mostly because I was 20 min late, but I still missed the 10 min I should have taken. So I left for home at 2:50, 40 min early for skipping my lunch and break. I got home had three pieces of old left over pizza which sat on my counter all night, then went to keep my roommate company at his work, just a few blocks from our apartment. That was fun, I saw a few people I hadn’t seen in a while.

While I was there, his boss, Dave, was answering the phone, and I noticed how he talked to his clients, I need to be more like him in that area. He’s a Christian too, and it’s so cool to see how he handles the wacko calls IT people get. I realized I have plenty of time to better my self, and to keep on trying. I just want to serve, but I surely don’t when I get the chance.

So after that I went home for about 20 min and read the newspaper, then I went off to my Young Adults group. I really like that group, I’m always stretched a little bit, but recently it’s because I’ve been helping with the sound setup. I don’t really feel like I fit in with the leadership or worship guys, but at the same time I know I have no real reason to make this a reason to stop trying. I really feel God doing something there, and I like that I’m a part of it, it’s a good thing. After young adults (or 18/28 as we call it), we went to Red Robin, what a surprise, that was fun, talked to some girls and guys I’ve not talked to before, it was all good. Thankfully no one told the server my birthday was coming up, so that little embarrassing bit, where you stand on the chair, didn’t happen. Although, now I would do it… yeah I would.

I’ve been thinking about what I want for my birthday, and here is what I’ve got so far:

– My Dad’s guitar fixed, I really want to learn to play

– Money for my missions trip

– Money for tuition

– My car washed and vacuumed

– Maybe, MAYBE, a nice fruity drink of some sort…

– Concert tickets to see Third Day!

– Windows tinted on car

– Something really cool that I would never guess

– New jeans

– A new worship CD

– My brother comes to church with me!

That’s all for now… I hate lists like these, I always feel selfish for some reason, but I guess a birthday is special, since It’s your day to be special.

Advertising

Well, I?ve noticed something quite interesting with blogger. It seems that the advertising at the top of all blogger pages, is mysteriously somehow related with the content of the blog you are viewing. I just find that amusing, yet another random thought from Travis.

Who’s in control?

In an attempt to secure the sovereignty of God, theologians have overstated their case and left us with a chess-player God playing both sides of the board, making all his moves and all ours too. But clearly, this is not so. God is a person who takes immense risks. No doubt the biggest risk of all was when he gave angels and men free will, including the freedom to reject him ? not just once, but every single day. Does God cause a person to sin? ?Absolutely not!? says Paul (Gal. 2:17). Then he can?t be moving all the pieces on the board, because people sin all the time. Fallen angels and men use their powers to commit horrendous daily evil. Does God stop every bullet fired at an innocent victim? Does he prevent teenage liaisons from producing teenage pregnancies? There is something much more risky going on here then we?re often willing to admit.

Most of us do everything we can to reduce the element of risk in our lives. We wear our seat belts, watch our cholesterol, and practice birth control. I know some couples who have decided against having children altogether; they simply aren?t willing to chance the heartache children often bring. What if they are born with a crippling disease? What if they turn their backs on us, and God? What if?? God seems to fly in the face of all creation. Even though he knew what would happen, what heartbreak and suffering and devastation would follow upon our disobedience, God chose to have children. And unlike some hyper-controlling parents, who take away every element of choice they can from their children, God gave us a remarkable choice. He did not make Adam and Eve obey him. He took a risk. A staggering risk, with staggering consequences. He let others into his story, and he lets their choices shape it profoundly.

//Wild At Heart: John Eldredge//

This book is targeted at Christian men, but I found this passage applicable to anyone; it?s a question that I?ve gone over and over myself, and this is the first real good explanation I?ve read, and could investigate. I think many Christians have this belief that God is controlling every little detail of our lives, God has this power, but he doesn?t use it. I believe that God works this way because he loves us, why make us robots, or control everything, let us make our decisions, then it?s genuine and true.

Hello Friends, Family and Coworkers!

It?s an opportunity made for me. My plan is to move to Poland in September 2003! Why? For how long? Please read on to see how this came about in my life.

What you are about to read is a story about a changed life, and I have to share my experience with others. I know many of you I do not talk to on a regular basis, and for some, this is not a welcomed letter, but you have been put on my heart, and I need to respond to that. Over the last few years I have grown in many different ways, but the deepest has been spiritual. I have come to have a relationship with God.

Throughout elementary school, middle school, and half of high school, I wasn?t ?popular?, but I wasn?t really picked on or laughed at (except for a bad 7th grade year). I was just a wallflower who kept out of harms way. My story isn?t one of drugs and sex, but rather of loneliness and emptiness. I always wanted to have the attention that comes from something, whether it is smart, rude, cocky or ?popular?. Through most of my school years I was a negative and cynical person, and never did much to change that. Then one day I noticed a huge change in one of my friend?s who I?ve known since preschool.

Of course it should be known that I had a crush on this friend, a girl, so I would listen to her and be with her as much as possible. This all happened in the beginning of my junior year at Cedarcrest High. Making a long story short, she had met the best person in her life ? Jesus. I didn?t know this for a long while, but I did notice the new excitement and life in her, which is part of the reason I was attracted to her. We hung out a lot, got to talking, and she invited me to go to church. About 6 months later, I finally went. I heard some awesome stuff about life and God, but I wasn?t quite sure what it was all about. I had claimed to be “Christian” my whole life, but I had never really followed Christ, deciding to do my own thing instead.

Sometime near spring of my junior year, I was invited to go on a missions trip with her church. I still wasn?t quite sure of all this, but I decided to go since she was going. Well she ended up not going, but I had already paid the non-refundable portion, so I went with nearly complete strangers! The missions trip was to the Crow Indian Reservation in Montana, and I learned the people I went with were different, they had life that I didn?t. They befriended me and showed me a life I had never seen before, one filled with hope.

After returning from the trip, I gave this whole new life a good look, and within a few weeks I personally accepted Jesus into my life. Of course not everything was perfect right away; it was a long road to understanding how God has designed our lives to work in certain ways, and the consequences for not following those ways. But the most important part is that I truly felt God in my life for the first time.

Much more has happened in these last few years, and I have grown in Christ more than I thought imaginable. I still make stupid mistakes, but I have a consistent love and hope that is real. My mission in life now is to show that love to everyone I come in contact with. I have to admit, less than five years ago, I would have thought I was crazy for even thinking this way. Most importantly, since I believe I am being called to “spread the love” of Christ, I need a good training ground. That training ground the last few years has been at work and school, but now I know that God is preparing me for something new.

This past fall, I was presented with an opportunity to travel to Poland. I’ve been invited to help bring this same hope and life to others which I received my junior year. I?m not going to force anything down anyone?s throat; I?m going to form relationships with people who have lost their hope. I want to show them that my relationship with Jesus is real and invite them into my life with him. Granted we are all human and make mistakes, but this is what makes God so much better than I ever thought possible. So I have decided to take this step of faith.

I will be joining two missionaries who have been in Nowy Targ Poland for seven years. There is a college/career Bible study group which is requiring more help. The people attending the group need more individual time to develop their walk with Jesus. Even Christians in Poland have a difficult time understanding the hope that is theirs now. Plus, these missionaries desire to set up a web page for this age group, which is evangelistic in nature. This is a perfect job for me, along with training others on how to keep it going. I?m sure I?ll be learning from these people too. I trust God to make it a growing period, where I must trust him.

I invite any of you who are reading this to also search for a relationship with Jesus; it is one decision you will not regret!

As you have probably already guessed, this will of course take funds. I plan on staying there a year; God may laugh at that plan and change it, but it?s a goal nonetheless I will seek. It will cost me about $750/month to live there, which includes health insurance, plus airfare of about $2000 (that is $1000 one way). Before I start living there, I will be going to a conference, which will educate me on Eastern Europe. I will tour Auschwitz, and other historical sites, as well as learn what Communism did to the people of Eastern Europe and why they feel no hope. In short, I only want to provide an opportunity for these people to have the hope and love that I have.

Thank you for your prayers, thoughts, love, and encouragement. I will very much appreciate all of that and any tax deductible contributions you can send. Your support may be in the form of monthly payments or a one-time gift. Please send checks made payable to Mission Dispatch to the following address:

Travis Mielonen

C/O Mission Dispatch

654 5th AVE. S. Suite 300

Edmunds, WA 98020

You may also make a non-tax-deductible donation through this site using PayPal:

All money donated through PayPal goes directly to my missions account, but is not tax deductable because it does not go through a non-profit organization.

For Him,

Travis J. Mielonen

Changes

Okay, this time tell me if you like the colors… I wasn’t to sure about the previous color scheme, but I didn’t know it was hated.

Also, feel free to read and comment on the last few days of posts… I’ve posted a lot, but you only need to comment on one, please. Start w/ this one. I’m going to be busy, so if you havn’t read these, it’ll give you something to read. Oh yeah, and check out the “Posts with the mosts” and “more posts” sections, old stuff of which I particularly liked. Thanks!

I don’t know what to do.

Tell me what to do for my birthday. I’m turning 21, open to most ideas, except the drunk kind. Whoever has the best idea, i’ll ummm yeah, invite ya or something… Hmm… Lauren… Jordan… I have a lack of stuff to blog about, actually I don’t, i’m just really lazy right now.

Twenty One Years.

In ten days I will officially be twenty-one years of age. Woo hoo. So I can now get drunk legally, yay. Not going to happen. But I do like the fact that I can now go to twenty-one and over shows, go to bars, where you can find decent food late at night, no more Denny’s or Sherry’s for me, well that’s a lie, but I can try. Oh yeah, I can even buy alcohol for myself now, wow what a privilege.

Picture this: Travis entering some dance club, lets say, Poly?s. He has a few drinks, does some dancing has some more, dances more? the night goes long. He?s wasted in the end, doesn?t know how he got to wherever he is, but there?s about 5 others, yay, and they all are sick to their stomachs? Sounds great, not to mention the fact that clothes are missing. Well I?ve seen it all, and no thanks, people laugh at it because it?s stupid, grow up, please.

But I do like the fact that I can now find good food late at night! But I can now have wine and Champaign for those special occasions?

Picture this: It?s a late summer early fall kind of night, the stars are out over the Seattle skyline, and the moon shining brightly over the cascades, the air is crisp. The wind is blowing, and I can barely hear her. Since a ferry?s bow is whatever direction is forward we stand at the ?bow? of a ferry, I?m thinking the Bremerton/Seattle run.

We?ve just returned from an awesome rock show at the Roxy in Bremerton, I?m thinking something along the lines of Switchfoot and, since this is in the future, Strange Occurrence- they?ve hit it big. We had an awesome time of worship, fun, and just simple fellowship. We?ve been ?courting? for a year now, I?ve had many awesome and wise people counsel me on my way to making one of the single most important decisions in my life, I?m feeling the momentum building. Her parents are in on it, they said God has blessed each of us they know this will work, so they?ve arranged to call her at 12:30am. I know I love her, and I know that God has chosen her for me, and I for her.

The phone rings, I?m not sure what they are telling her, but I quietly sneak back to the car. I grab the bottle of strawberry or raspberry wine (something sweet, because she is), the wine glasses (a mysterious blue/purple color, because she is) and the ring (a creative, but simple silver or white gold band with a single diamond, because she is the single woman for me). I put all this in a back pack, I return to the bow, where the wind is howling, and the air is getting colder, the Seattle skyline is now in it?s full glory. She asks me where I went, and what?s the bag for, and her parents sneakingly tell her God is good, and have a good night. I first pull out the wine bottle; her bright green eyes grow large. Second, I pull out a glass for her and a glass for me, as I reach for my glass, I put the ring on the tip of my index finger, upside down, so she doesn?t see the diamond, she doesn?t even notice the ring. I pop the cork to the wine, I savor the smell, and with a smile she does too.

As I?m talking to her, letting her know how much fun I?ve had, and how much I feel God is truly the center of our relationship, I poor my glass first, set it down, and as I poor hers, I let the ring fall in to it. I ask her to pray with me, so we celebrate and worship God in his creation. As I?m praying I thank God for her how she is as sweet as the wine, and as mysterious as the color of the wine glasses, and how simple yet complicated all at once, just as a diamond, and that I believe she is the single women for me, for the rest of my living days on earth. I end our prayer in thanksgiving, and I as I take my first sip, I stop, as she does the same, she had looked into her glass during the prayer, and saw the ring, and she is beaming with delight. She looks at me, makes a soul connection, tears begin to flow down both of our cheeks. I take the ring from the wine glass, the wind is cold, and Seattle grows closer. I take her hand, and I slip the ring on questioningly, and she nods her head, it?s a yes. She sets the wine down, and I do the same. I tell her ?I love you?, this is the first time she has heard these words from me, but she knows why it?s the first time, it?s because I did not want our relationship to focus on becoming married, but rather on God. We hug, and stare off into the city?s lights, and we sip on the sweet wine from the mysterious glasses.

Now what use of alcohol honors God?

You have helped, made me think, rethink, and have changed my mind.

Okay first I?m going respond to each comment I feel I need to; in regard to my past few posts. Then I?m going to return to my previous format, because for some reason I lost it back there a few days ago, and I ?spoke? with out thinking, and made my self look like an idiot. Although I still believe what I wrote, it made me look bitter. But I?m not sorry about it or ashamed, in fact I?ve grown, this is one of those life lessons which I hold dear to my heart, I?m so thankful that I know Christ, otherwise my life would be pointless.

Regarding the ?To whom this may concern? post and comments. This posting was in response to something which God has been laying on my heart, I felt the need to tell someone (no one specifically) that once God becomes your number one love and foundation, and he is the center of all your relationships, then you will experience his awesome love.

In response to ?Again, are you telling me that I shouldn’t react the way that God made me to react? Isn’t it defying his infinite wisdom to tap into that instead of using what he gave you?? As you may eventually learn, God didn?t make us to react in any way at all. It?s true he created us, our souls, our physical body for here on Earth, our spirit and our mind, but he did not create our reactions, we learn as we grow up how to react to certain things, because of the original fall of Adam and Eve, we are separated from God and must grow near to him, so we may be changed by him. We have our own wisdom separate from God?s, which people have created, through all the bible (written by humans, inspired by God, written in the culture of the time) we are reminded that God?s wisdom is separate from our own, we must strive to receive his. God gave us the ability to choose our own ways. He did this because unless we have the ability to choose our own way, how are we to truly love him?

In response to

?Let me tell you something you don?t want to be told? posting and comments. I know this sounded insensitive, it wasn?t meant for pre-Christians, and I completely understand that some people have things which have happened to them in the past which may make it harder for them to change and be more Christ-like, I myself was sexually abused and molested, which has made lust a huge problem for me, but I am overcoming it (which means I?m still dealing with it, but it?s become a much smaller issue) because I took the step to change, I decided it was not good for me, and I gave it up to God, instead of leaning on my own wisdom.

Response to:

??…your not letting the Holy Spirit guide you, your still in control.?

Wait, I’m confused here, are you actively telling me to give up my will to God? I’m wondering how you can preach about the evils of other people if you blind yourself to seeing any evil or good other than what your religion (note: not God) tells you to see??

Hopefully my response above explains some of this, but let try and answer this question specifically. Yes I am saying that if a Christian (someone who can confess that Jesus Christ is their Lord and savior, who died on the cross and rose again and is the Son of God and has received the Holy Spirit or wisdom of God) gives up his/her plans to God for the guidance and wisdom of God he/she will experience the awesome grace and mercy of God. I?m sorry you see me as a ?religious? person, in fact because of that remark, I?ve been thinking the last couple of days, and have been asking my self ?am I religious or Christ-like? I hope that I am Christ-like, Christ?s character is the only thing I strive for, but because I am human, I can not become perfect as Christ, but I can always strive to be like him, but I will always need him because I can not be him. The word religion rings ?legalistic? in my mind, I don?t want rules and regulations, before I was Christian that?s what I thought Christianity was all about, rules and regulations, IT IS SO NOT! I have found that because I?ve began to follow Christ, and become more like him, I have stopped doing some things, and started doing others, it has nothing with doing what?s right or wrong, it?s all about Jesus, he came not only to take our sins away, but to lead us, and give us an example, he broke many of the religious rules, he made all the religious leaders of the time angry, because it?s not about rules and regulations and being good and making sure that we are more good than bad, it?s about our hearts, where they lay in God?s eyes, our hearts.

Now for the ?I?m passionate, so shoot me? post and comments. I know that if I am passionate about something, people will debate and argue, to be honest the only reason I posted this, was to draw attention, I was really feeling attacked or anything, I just wanted people to think, and a little bit of it was just to whine, I?m human, and I?ve already changed my mind on this, and wish I hadn?t posted it, but oh well.

In response to:

?Passionate people are always shot.

Welcome to my life.

Why is it that you can go off on stuff but when i do i’m shot down like a duck in Duckhunter? I’m not criticizing you personally Travis, you don’t do that, but let me tell you it happens a lot more than anyone thinks. so just prepare yourself, if you are going to be passionate about anything, especially something that many of your friends have issues with, you’re asking to be screwed and left in the dust. all unintentionally, of course, which is why it’s so bad. yes i know i make no sense, and that i’m whining, but oh well, it’s my day to whine.?

I think I am prepared, and that?s why I don?t feel like I was shot down. Of course if something is controversial then, your going to have some people shoot back, but if you respond in a patient and soft manner, then you can persuade someone, if it is in God?s will and your not trying to manipulate.

And onto the next: ?Liberal Christianity? to be honest, I was quite tired when I wrote this, so I don?t think it?s very well thought out, so forgive me on that part. I was just trying to (and I don?t think it achieved this at all) point at that our Liberal society (at least in my experience in the Seattle area) has persuaded Christianity off track, that we need to find balance, we tend to lean one way or the other, w/o looking for the biblical reference points. I feel like I?m writing rebuttals for a voters pamphlet.

Comment: ” that?s because after knowing Christ I had a solid truth to stand on, to compare and analyze everything against.”

Hmmm, interesting thought, but isn’t faith, by definition, a train of thought that you come to believe without a solid truth for it stand on? So how is it that Jesus is a solid truth?

My first response: Good question. Faith is a train of thought to believe with out physical evidence, but the things which Jesus taught (and through out the rest of the bible not just the Gospels), are just instructions for living life, IE: Love your neighbor, Love the LORD, A foolish person gets angry when insulted a wise person listens and learns and changes… the little things. That’s what I meant by following, his words; his words are true to my life, which, you could say is liberal. It’s an idea, in my experience, and my understanding that I find true.

I guess you have to assume that Jesus is real, which if you don?t know Christ, you can?t know that he is real. So, with that assumption Jesus is a solid truth. I?m not an expert in scientifically proving that Jesus Christ is real, but there is an excellent book called ?The case for Christ? which was written by a scientist (an anthropologist, I think?) who originally set out to dis-prove the bible and Jesus Christ, and in the end, became Christian. I read parts of it once before I was Christian, and now I?m reading it again as a Christian, it?s great.

Thanks for reading, I love every one of you who comment and visit, you help me strengthen my knowledge and my ideas. I am completely open to debate, and questions, it?s what I strive for, to be stretched. But I know that no matter what, I will never forget the black void experience.

.:prayers; prayer requests:.

Hey God,

Thank you for just being here in my life at all times. I realize that I may have stepped out of your will recently, but you know where my heart is, and I NEED to continue and change that. Thank you for bringing my brother one step closer to you, one step closer to your light. Thank you for providing me with the accountability I NEED, I also pray for your wisdom and guidance. I ask for the oppurtunity you presented today at work to show again, and this time I want to harness the power you have given me to speak of your awesome love, I want to be a light to everyone, and that means telling them why i’m going to Poland, the real reason, not the worldly reasons. Thank you Lord. So be it.

And I leave you with, this little tid-bit I just read from “one word” (see the departures section to the right)…

Circle. God moves us in circles, as opposed to straight lines. Even His Son traveled a circle, from heaven, to earth, to the Cross, resurrected, back to heaven. At the lowest point of the circle, there is good news! You’re on the way back to the top! Often we look for straight lines in life, for the follower of Christ just look for the next step, and recognize there is a circle…that leads Home.

On the light side.

So, this is a little overdue… but remember when I stole a certain Jeffersonair’s idea? If you don’t know what i’m talking about, click here.

Well here is the outcome:

Girl’s names:

Avril Jenni Toshnome

Easter Liv Minonnohj

*Naomi Trish Venjloen*

*Jasmine Noel Northiv *

Heaven Lori Jonminst

Annelise Ohm Trovjin

*Raven Shilo Jinmeont*

Laverne Josi Thomnin

Rose Jenna Tohvnimli

Harmoni Joslin Tevne

*Rosaline Nev Johnmit*

Tori Jane Mishlonnev

Tonja Meloni Rivshen

Anne Silver Tohjmion

Tina Helen Rovjinsmo

Sheri Love Minnajont

Sheila Joni Trenvonm

Joann Olive Trishnem

Shanon Evi Melonjrit

Rita Eve Johnsmilonn

Silvia Jen Thormonen

Sonja Emili Trevnohn

*Lani Simone Trenjohv*

Nina Lee Trisjohmonv

Guy’s names:

Amelio Ren Sohnnjitov

Alvin Simon Tenorjhe

Amos Niel Trivjhonen

*Noah Elton Sirvmenji*

Anthoni Jeri Vesmoln

Earl Ivon Teshjimonn

*Elijah Otis Norvmen*

Romeo Hansel Tivjinn

Romeo Elvis Tahjninn

Ron Isiah Melvjonent

Evan Stone Hilmjorn

Lothar Sven Mijienon

Steven Mario Johnlin

Jonas Levi Trihmenon

Monte Silver Jahnion

Melvin Jason Tirhoen

Jose Milo Renivantin

Josh Eli Mortivannen

*James Loren Tivohnin*

Ivan Joel Nomentrish

Theo Lars Vinnomienj

*’s indicate my favorties! In bold look for usage in the future.

Thanks to a certain Sherbet.