Month: August 2003

You?ve got to check this place out, especially if you have a laptop with a wireless adapter ? Free internet! Yes that?s right free, although you should probably buy a drink so you can always have this place around. Check it out? I?m here right now with Alexis, and she likes it, and I like it, so life is happy? there are a couple of locations, shorelines is the closest to the ?mill creek? sphere of influence. Who wants to go to the fair today? I?m going later with a big group, give me a call. See ya later!

Check out there website (when it goes back online): http://www.hotwirecoffee.com/

Well, I know I have, and if you associate with other humans in any manner, at some time you?ve been disappointed. My problem is when I put expectations on people, ones which I never really tell them, nor do I do anything which will actually have them meet those expectations. Nope instead I expect things to happen like magic, as if what I?m hoping they will do is being broadcast from my brain or something. So last night, I had this expectation at my ?going away party?, I really wanted to talk about God, and get into some deep meaningful conversation, but I never prompted anything in that direction because I never found the right time, plus I was distracted by the fact everyone was at my place, so I had to be the host. Long and short of the story is, I was disappointed I really want some prayer time, some good conversation and have last night be an uplifting night of real down to earth Christian fellowship, instead what I got was disappointment, and it?s all my fault. I have nothing against those who came, I am very happy that all of them came, and I?m glad to see them, it just wasn?t what I wanted? so I guess I was being selfish, and instead of seizing the moment, I just sat there expecting something to come from nothing. Once again, I?m not mad at anyone, not even my self, just frustrated at myself for not doing what I wanted.

Today I had lunch with an old friend, granted he?s four years younger than me, which makes him 17, but in all the years we?ve known each other (about five, and four of those as good friends) the age difference has never been more than a little joke. Plus, this particular friend of mine, is a foot taller than me, at 6?6? he sort of towers over me, but once again, just small jokes have been the outcome of that. His name is Ross, and he is one of the most important people in my life. He?s the son of my first pastor, so he?s a ?pastor?s kid? or ?PK?, but he?s not anything like the stereo type, not at all. I?ve had hundreds of good conversations with him, from stupid guy things, family things, church stuff, people, prayer, and God. I?ve seen him grow both spiritually and physically, when I met him, he was shorter than me, and I may have only grown an inch or two since I?ve known him.

I realized today, that God has blessed me with some of the most amazing people, his parents have taught me, and guided me over the past few years, and he has shown me what it is to be searching. Of course as any good friends have, we have argued, been mad at each other, and have cried over each other. Today, we talked, although it was not a happy talk, since I?m leaving soon, we reminisced, and he told me what was up in his life, and his family?s, and I shared all about mine too. We are both heading into the unknown, and I pray for the very best of protection, wisdom, and guidance for Ross, and his family. Thank you God for Ross, I am very proud of him.

And I?m asking for all of you who know Ross, and those who don?t, keep the Gomes? in your prayers, ask for God?s wisdom in their lives, and intercession of his power to protect them, Don, Heidi, and Ross all need protection from the enemy right now. Pray for Heidi, she had surgery last year for cervical cancer, and with that they did a full hysterectomy, which has caused a chemical unbalance and her emotions are being effected, pray for healing, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

In Jesus? name,

So be it.

See part of the city i’m going to live in… Isn’t it “cute”. It’s called Zakopane (pronouced “Zako pon”).

That is how I feel right now, I?m learning to breathe, into a relationship that is. Yesterday Alexis and I were in the car heading to my place, where we eventually had dinner with Josh and Erin (which was totally rad, but I don?t have the time to give details). Well we were sharing about our days and such, and I was telling her about the guy which is taking my place at work. He?s a good guy, has good skills, and I think will be a good replacement. Anyway, I was telling her how I had hoped (and prayed) my replacement would be Christian, but that didn?t (or maybe hasn?t) happened. At one point I was quoting something he said about his wife?s commute from Seattle (they live in Carnation, about 30 miles east of Seattle) and he said his wife liked to complain but he used slightly more colorful language that that, referring to her as speaking like a female dog. Well, I chose to quote word for word what he said, thinking to just quote isn?t really anything. Well this was the first time Alexis has her me curse, even though it was ?just? quoting, it didn?t sit to well with her. At first I really didn?t see anything wrong, I wasn?t convicted of anything, and I really didn?t understand. But she said ?Why use it at all, you can get the same point across w/o using that word?, she had a point. So, after a while of going and back and fourth in my mind, I came to this conclusion: If it isn?t uplifting and encouraging to those around me, it shouldn?t be said. Much like what Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 8 and choosing to eat food offered to idols. I must realize that what I think is okay, is sometimes not okay to others, and I shouldn?t argue those things, unless it is against scripture. So, I continue to learn, more and more.

That is how I should be living my life right now, sometimes I am, but a find myself thinking and dreaming of the future, quite often. I need to set my sights on the realities of heaven, yet I also need to do what needs to be done here on Earth. I have four days left of working for the school district, and eleven days until I leave for Poland. I need to slow down, make a (another) list, and just get life going.

For some reason I feel the need to post the lyrics from one of my favorite praise songs?

What to say Lord?

It’s You who gave me life and I

Can’t explain just how

Much You mean to me now

That You have saved me Lord

I give all that I am to You

That everyday I can

Be a light that shines Your name

Everyday Lord I’ll

Learn to stand upon Your Word

And I pray

That I might come to know You more

That You would guide me

In every single step I take

That everyday I can

Be Your light unto the world

Everyday it’s You I’ll live for

Everyday I’ll follow after You

Everyday I’ll walk with You my Lord

It’s You I live for, everyday

It’s You I live for, everyday

It’s You I live for, everyday

This song reminds me to just take one day at a time, but to remember the overall picture of everyday living for Christ.

What to do?

1. Find my proof of insurance so I can prove to the Duvall PD that I have insurance (I was pulled over last Friday, and couldn?t find the current insurance card)

2. Get new License plates (that?s what I was originally pulled over for, no ticket on either account)

3. Go to AAA and get my international drivers license

4. Go to Kinko?s and get some passport photos for my youth traveler?s ID

5. Pray, Pray, Pray, Read the bible, Read the bible, Read the bible

Live wisely among those who are not Christians, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and effective so that you will have the right answer for everyone.

[Colossians 4:5-6]

Wow, what a statement. One which I?ve been working on for a long time, when you?re full of passion about something, but young in that passion sometimes you can offend people, although your intention is not to. I?ve been asking God to help me in this area, for a long time now God has shown me, that by being gracious I am more effective. People want to be respected; you must have trust with a person before you can effective with them. This is a broken world, where too many people (including Christians, and a lot of the time by Christians) have been hurt, torn down, shot down, and rejected by the words of others. I know that I am still a piece of work, especially in the area of communication with ?pre-believers?. My time in Poland is going to stretch me beyond the limits, I?m going to have times where I doubt myself, I?m going to have times where I?m losing my mind, I?m going have times where I just want to give up. I know I can be especially discouraged when I don?t see fruit, when I don?t see the ?signs?. I need to have faith that whatever I do, as long as it is for the lord, and my real intentions are to work for God, then all will be fine.

Well last night was one of the first ?good byes? I had to do? John and Jen are leaving tomorrow for Multnomah Bible College; today they are spending time with their families, so I won?t be able to see them. So instead, last night we hung out, went to Seattle?s pacific place, walked around, and the girls (Jen and Alexis) tried on some very nice formal dresses, that was fun. While John and I were sitting in the waiting room for them to change, John saw a box of something, either cookies or chocolates; we were in Nordstrom?s so, so it could have been. Well he walks over to see what?s in this box labeled ?Bravo? and it looks like some kind of cookie box. I tell him ?watch out?, because I knew it could have been anything?. And it was? John peeked in, and his face turned bright red ? it was the funniest thing I?ve seen him do in a while. So what was in the box? Let?s just say, women?s ?breast enhancers?.

But later that night, when it was time to go home (after going to TGI Friday?s, and then watching ?ever after?, which is a great movie) I let John drive my car to Jen?s house for one of the last times (for a while), and we said our ?see ya laters?. Alexis and I began to drive off, and I just lost it. It was so hard, I could say anything with out tearing up, and crying. I really love John and Jen, they have been an awesome blessing in my life. I started to reminisce about Campus Crusade, my time with John at Ocean Shores, and all the other times I?ve spent with John and lately with Jen ? God has something huge in store for them.

Father God bless John and Jen while they are away at Bible College, may they grow closer and closer to you, the mighty God of the universe, give them the strength and will to do what is right for you, and protect them from evil desires, and evil its self. In your Son, Jesus? name, Amen.

I have a lot to talk about, but not much time to talk about it. I know it?s been over a week since I last posted, which I think is a record. I?ve just found myself being caught up in life, one which is taking off in new directions. I had a work week from Satan himself, everything that could go wrong did, and to make it worse, all at the end of my regular day, so I had to work extra long each day this week, but my supervisor was nice enough to let me off early today. I haven?t had the time or the energy to do my quiet times, ride my bike, or anything else I actually get good joy out of. I saw matt once in the last two weeks, for about an hour. But I did make sure to get my fellowship time in, and my time with Alexis. Some may think its more important for me to get my bible reading time in, then anything else, but for me, it?s time with other Christians where I can discuss things, and figure it all out (which of course will never happen).

Even though I?m struggling, by losing it at work (lets just say I was growling at some servers), falling to temptation (again), not loving as much as I could, and just simply being human, I?m still seeking God, and feeling his presence. I don?t know how I would go on with out the strength Jesus gives me.

By the way, I got my new laptop, it is so awesome, and it?s going to be great having it in Poland. I also have a ?big plan? I need to start planning for, so I better get going.

Some say faith is for the weak, I say faith is for the smart?

I see our lives here on Earth as a time to prove ourselves to God. But we only need to prove one thing, our love and appreciation for him. God created us because he loves relationships, who knows what else he has created, in the ?past? or ?future?, God?s does not work in a world limited by ?time?. He created us for relationships, not just with each other but for him, he created everything, and imagine if you created everything, you would want a relationship too, just like you do with your own children. But God doesn?t want just a casual relationship, ?hi Steve, what?s up? Steve says, not much. See ya later?, what would you think if your parents had that kind of relationship with you? It just isn?t good to have casual relationships with your children, and it isn?t go to have one like that with God either.

God knows what?s best, and he filled the people who sought after him with his Holy Spirit to let the rest of humanity know him by the words they would write. God?s Holy Spirit does not lie, but it is quiet, unless you get to know its voice, just like a friend on the telephone, the bible is that voice. I think ?mainstream Christianity? today has a tweaked perspective of how a ?Christian? life should look like, and be. There are not ten steps to living perfectly with God, there is not just one prayer which will save you from hell, there is not just any simple little thing you can do, and your life will be perfect. The Christian life is not a free shopping spree, getting everything you want. No, the Christian ?life? is not very different from the ?non-Christian?, people die, people hurt, people get hurt, and evil still fights us.

The Christian person is what is different, not the life. The Christian person, who continually is seeking God, by reading the bible and fellowshipping with other Christians, but realizing that the world is real, and needs Christ, is different. Not because of something they have ?done?, but because he or she took a step of faith. Not knowing what would happen, they made themselves vulnerable, to everyone, and certainly to failure and humiliation. The initial trust is what most people, even people who call themselves ?Christian? do not understand, and will not try. They do not want to take a risk, with out proof they will either receive something which will improve their status (weather financially, physically, sexually, or whatever), or get something they want in return. The truth is they will, but it?s not something you can see, it?s only something you feel, it?s not tangible, and it?s not going to improve any kind of status. It is unconditional love, which only God can provide. Once a person trusts in his unconditional love, then you can feel his spirit working in you, and your drive to know God better becomes stronger.

So, take a step, everyday, weather you?re Christian or not, taking a step to know God better can only improve your life, it may reduce your status here on Earth, but we must keep our sights on God, and trust him, seek him, then know him.