Month: June 2004

I don’t talk about actual church stuff on here much but I’ve had some ideas and thoughts floating around so I thought I’d share them and see if others have anything to say. I absolutely love my church back home, there isn’t anything particularly different about it from the other thousands of churches, except that the people are authentic, and for me that’s a huge deal. It is not an emergent church nor is it very traditional either. They are trying some cool new post-modern ideas like having artists in the sanctuary during the worship time, and they put a big emphasis on worship being a lifestyle not just the first 45 min of a weekend service. Some people would complain that we don’t “preach” directly from the Bible. But I’d argue the sermons are because the Holy Spirit is still working in people (imagine that), and everything that I’ve ever heard in this church doesn’t conflict with the Bible, the church enhances it and makes it relevant to today’s culture.

One of the reasons I am so excited to return to Seattle is that many of the ideas that have been swarming in my head will finally be allowed out and become tangible works. Alexis has an internship right now for the young adults group and I am so stoked and ready to get plugged in I’m nearly ready to jet myself over there. If “the church” is to survive, I realize that we have some things to change and some ideas to get rid of. I would say one of my biggest passions is seeing brothers and sisters of Christ working together, helping each other, and showing the world our love for each other. I don’t see a lot of this these days, even in my local fellowship. I can’t seem to get away from the fact that the early church had fellowship nearly everyday! Can you imagine how life would be if we did that today? That gets me pumped!

Now, when it comes to church planting, the idea we have in the States works for the States. America is a much different place than Europe or any other part of the world. We simply think differently and the kind of churches we have (as long as they are sensitive to the Spirit) work great in the States. However, I think we need to focus on local cultures. Many American Christians haven’t got a clue what the emergent church is, I think that’s okay, America isn’t in the same place as the rest of the world. Generally speaking we are still trustworthy of institutional churches and things like that, we’d better stay in tune with the people though if we are to change and not fall behind. There are pockets that are beginning to resist, one of these places I believe is Seattle, which is somewhere near the top (last I heard it was number two in the nation) for non-church going people of any faith. While my local church seems to be growing (no official membership but around 1200) despite this statistic I hope that it continues to be sensitive and alive.

If Americans go outside of the American culture, then they (including myself) need to realize that we have a much different mentality and we must assimilate into the culture we go to. My prayer for the church here in Poland is that it is distinctly Polish, meeting the needs of the Polish people and culture. Church attendance (and I believe the only attendance they track is in the Catholic church) is dropping across Poland and trust in the church has dropped 40% since the fall of communism. Life here is changing, the people are changing, but the church isn’t, none of the denominations. I’m sure there are pockets of Christians doing wonderful work, and I’m sure their fruit will multiply but we Americans need to drop our ways and try new things, wild and crazy things. The work I’m doing and help here is different, but it still has American roots, we are trying to make it uniquely Polish and centered on the Kingdom culture. Our goal is to have Polish leaders and pastors the ground is hard and the state church (the Catholic church) is very strong and has a lot of political and cultural connections which will do anything to slander a non-catholic church or fellowship (sometimes including the Charismat Catholic movement). However there are some amazing people in the Catholic church who are on-fire for God and are trying to change the church from the inside, keep these people in your prayers. We can all work together if we try.

My apologies to those not on a fast connection, the clip can be played with Windows Media player and is just under 10mb in size. It should stream so you don’t have to wait for the whole thing to download before it plays. This took me almost all day, I started at about noon my time and finished at about 11pm.

The music is Three Doors Down‘s “Here without you” from the “Away from the Sun” album.

She deserves more, but some land and water separate us right now. Enjoy the show.

So thanks to the Tall Skinny Kiwi I’ve found this really cool virtual world. It’s called Habbo Hotel. There are plenty of people who don’t know God, but there also are a lot of Christian rooms to explore. I’ve been checking out TSK’s rooms “Boaz Lounge”, “Suddenly Seminary”, and a 24-7 prayer room him and some buddies have set up. Check it out. It’s neat, it’s geeky, I like it.

And not enough time to think about them and put them into words for all the world to see! I’m so excited for life, yet there hasn’t been anything human or Earthly to cause this! I have a ton of ideas floating around in my head. Well… Anyway. As of today (my time) I’ve been courting Alexis for a year! A whole year! Already! I’m blown away. She blows me away. Life blows me away. How can things get any better than this? But God promises even more! He’s all I want and all I need and he is everything to me!

I don’t know what the future holds in store for me, I don’t know where I’ll be living when I get back to Seattle nor where I’ll be working. The only thing I know is that I will be with people I love and that is the most important. I am amazed how missionaries survive in places where there are not many, if any, other Christians around. Maybe I am amazed because I am an extrovert and am energized by conversation and fellowship, being in the field this past year I have experienced way to many alone times. I have gone literally days without speaking to another Christian in person, there have even been a few times where I haven’t talked a single person for over a day. This is like a nightmare for me where I become unmotivated and restlessly bored all at the same time. Of course I am here with other American missionaries but having other people my age and people that I have deep relationships with is very important for me. I love Carol and Denise and I now consider them very good friends, but it just isn’t the same without the guys that I have come to know as brothers. If there were one thing I could change about my time here it would’ve been to have one of these brothers with me. Nevertheless I know it has all been God’s plan and now I am now more independent and content with being alone and meditating with God.

The only thing I know for the future is that I will finish my schooling, hopefully finishing my A/A at the end of the coming academic year. Then I want to transfer to some kind of bachelor program, what that my look like I have no idea. I want to create some kind of internship/exchange program for developing ministry leaders, it would include sending small groups over to Poland (and possibly other places) to do ministry and hopefully would have people from Poland come to Seattle for the same reasons. In the past year, I have learned more about God and myself than all my years in Seattle and I believe this is true because I was out of my own culture and had to depend on God. I want to help others have this same opportunity and to provide the training and leadership in a dynamic way.

And while all of this is happening I hope to get married, have kids, and be actively involved in doing God’s will. I want to bless God, enough of me asking for his blessing upon me, it’s time for me to bless him by honoring and glorifying him. However this program turns out I never want it to be just “program” I want it to be a place of strong fellowship where everyone feels like a brother or sister to everyone else, I want it to be real and authentic, and I will not be in control, God will.

I’m feeling pretty good these days. Nothing particular has contributed to this feeling. I’m incredibly excited to get back to Seattle, but it also is a little scary. I’m not quite sure about how I will survive there, culture shock and being without a job is going to be tough. However, at the same time I know it will all be just fine. I’ve officially applied for two jobs now, one I haven’t heard anything probably because I can’t actually work until August 16th so that’s going to be a big factor until I get a bit closer to that date. There are many more jobs that I’m interested in but they specifically say “must be ready to hire in two weeks”, which I am not.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how amazing life is when you truly choose to follow God even when it doesn’t make sense. There are still things I find amazing like “love your enemies”, “love your neighbor as yourself”, “if someone takes your shoes, give them your jacket” all of these things are so opposite to our nature. But the more we do these things the more character we build and the more our lives are blessed. It all starts with trust, and I’m far from trusting God enough. I still do many things under my power, I still rationalize things that I simply don’t need to. God is the light in my life, now I just need to let him be the headlight in my life now.

I think life is all about standing for what we know is true and right. Truth is not relative, there is an absolute truth, there are absolute rights and wrongs. This is not to say that we go around telling others what is right and wrong. No, instead, we should go around showing people with our own lives what is right and wrong. No one can make someone follow Jesus, people make the decision for themselves. I have to make the decision everyday, if not every moment, and sometime I simply don’t I just follow my own desires. I believe that when Jesus calls us all to “come” it means that we personally go to him. Only Jesus does the calling, we cannot. By answering His call, responding, and growing with him we can be witnesses to others for the good life. We have to simply stand in Jesus’ name. Stand and do what is right, let others see it, then others will be able to come too.

I’m not quite sure how I feel, but I’ll use the best words I can think of. Life is just incredible, we may think fairytale lives are not real. I challenge you to think about it. If you’re Christian how could your life not be a fairytale? I mean you have a knight in shining armor and you have a dragon to slay! It’s incredible. We have so many little decisions in life and each and everyone of them adds to the story. It is so unreal, so never anything I ever imagined.

For the Christian, life is an incredible adventure, one that never ends. We should live fully alive because Christ is fully alive. While the dragon seems to never be slain, while we walk in the desert place, and while we do what we don’t want to, our knight in shining armor knows that in the end the dragon is slain and we are rescued forever. Yesterday is gone, all our mistakes are gone, this life is gone – grab onto what is eternally good, your character. This life I could have never imagined, yet it is mine, and that I rejoice in.

All Glory, Power, and Praise unto you my God.

I do what I do not want to do, and I do not do what I want to do. That essentially sums up my life right now. I’ve made these stupid rules for myself that will never lead to any kind of victory. And every time I try and set a rule I just fall, and it is always when I think “I’m doing pretty good, I’ve kept away from that place for a while” and then boom, I fall, more flat and hard than the previous time. I’m feeling bipolar in my faith, one moment I see, I believe, and I love. The next moment I grab what feels good, what fufills the moment, and what is self-serving.

I’m beginning to realize that rules really have controlled my life, even if I never admitted to it and always rejected rules before. I really just love to set up these little things called “goals” and I know a lot of others who do this too. These have basically hidden a lot of rules, I set a goal to not do this, or to do such and such, well most of the time I fail at said goals. This leads to discontent, angry thoughts, and disappointment. God gave us one rule in the very beginning; do not eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. That is it, one rule. It wasn’t disguised as a goal or anything else, it was simple. I’ve taken way to many bites of the fruit of that tree, I know way to many things which are good and evil and I compare and contrast it all. I simply want life. Where did that fruit go again? It’s found in Christ.

Not sure what to think of this, we are having a thunderstorm right now, and I just kind of jokingly asked God “are you mad at me?” and the largest earth shaking thunder roared. I’m giving the sermon tomorrow at church, it’s going to be on The Body, based on the passages I’ve kind of talked about this week in 1 Corinthians 12-31, the thing is, I haven’t got any real hard core notes yet. Is God trying to tell me to get on it or something? I’m going to get up early and work on it, we’ll see what happens. Huh… I don’t know. By the way Carol has a good post up, I’ve been expierencing similar thoughts about a different person.