Month: August 2008

What’s in a church?

Firstly, Alexis and I are not looking for a new church.  Yet, we do have friends and peers who are not exactly “happy” with our church.  So what is it that people look for in a church?  In our observation we see that people want their passions to be used, but can a church be all things to all people?  Some would say no, and others say churches should be.  What’s realistic?  To be a jack of all trades, and a master of none?  Or shall the Church (the universal group of Jesus-followers) focus on its strengths, and manifest those strengths in the local parts of the greater Church?  Some churches focus on outreach, others focus on discipling and equipping, other churches on music, some on prayer?

I think there are some universal things that each church must have, one is a focus on the full-gospel (the heaven AND hell part with the grace AND truth parts), the next is on our relationship with God (in the form of prayer, meditation, and reverence for Him), and our relationship with people (serving each other and loving through ALL things).  When each of these things are included, a local church becomes well rounded.  Any of these pieces lack, then some isn’t quite right.  This isn’t to say that some churches will have stronger outreach, while others have stronger emphasis on discipleship.

In the end, as believers, we all have the responsibility to be a part of what the Church is doing.  We shall be known for our love, right?  Love is action, and sometimes that’s recognizing that you’re not fully in sync with your surroundings, and that can be your church.  So speak up, cast vision, be a part of the solution, don’t leave it to the “powers that be” (who truly do not have power, except when people follow the desires God puts in their hearts).

God has spoken!

I know this is long, but it’s a huge revelation for me, if you want to know where I am, to know more than just a tweet or facebook status update, take the time to read this.  Shall we know each other for the love we show to each other?  Are we known for the love we have for each other?  Let’s start, one person at a time.

Last night as I was laying in bed, attempting to fall asleep, I could not stop thinking about our upcoming trip to Poland.  Then I felt the Lord telling me, stop, be at peace, do not fear, everything will be okay.  Then I thought to myself, that’s just the pat Christian response, thinking I’m not trusting or having enough faith in God… 

And then I “really” heard him say “go throughout your day tomorrow and do not talk about, nor dwell on this coming trip” and so I tried my best, I had a few wondering thoughts, and did my best to think of other things (such as driving, doing my job, etc).  It has been really hard, very hard.

The other thing I heard God say was “I’ll have an answer for you tomorrow” (that being today) and that answer I believe came in my morning devotion, but in a way, could still be coming.

In my devotional I read Jeremiah 51:20-23:

20 “You are my battle-ax and sword,”
      says the Lord.
   “With you I will shatter nations
      and destroy many kingdoms.
 21 With you I will shatter armies-
      destroying the horse and rider,
      the chariot and charioteer.
 22 With you I will shatter men and women,
      old people and children,
      young men and maidens.
 23 With you I will shatter shepherds and flocks,
      farmers and oxen,
      captains and officers.

I felt God say to me – that is you, you are my battle-ax, you and your wife, your family, I will use to battle the enemy’s schemes, lies, and strongholds in Poland.  Wow, thanks God!  This is just what I needed, exactly the motivation.

But wait!  There’s more!

The next passage to read in my devotion was 3rd John, and verses 5-11 answered exactly the question I’ve had about fund raising (what’s right, what’s wrong, how do we fund raise?  Is it right to ask so much? etc, etc, etc).  You see, verses such as Acts 20:33-35, and 2 Corinthians 11:9, have plagued my thoughts, and made me doubt the whole fund raising process.  Then I think “we’re not asking from those we’re serving, from those we’ll be ministering to” (Paul made it clear not to ask or be a burden to those whom he was ministering to, for some reason people miss this distinction, and see that seeking support from your own church is in the same vain as what Paul says in those scriptures).  Still the enemy attacks, and brings doubts to my mind…

Then in 3rd John: 5-11 I read the following:

5 Dear friend, you are being faithful to God when you care for the traveling teachers who pass through, even though they are strangers to you. 6 They have told the church here of your loving friendship. Please continue providing for such teachers in a manner that pleases God. 7 For they are traveling for the Lord, and they accept nothing from people who are not believers. 8 So we ourselves should support them so that we can be their partners as they teach the truth.

 9 I wrote to the church about this, but Diotrephes, who loves to be the leader, refuses to have anything to do with us. 10 When I come, I will report some of the things he is doing and the evil accusations he is making against us. Not only does he refuse to welcome the traveling teachers, he also tells others not to help them. And when they do help, he puts them out of the church.

 11 Dear friend, don’t let this bad example influence you. Follow only what is good. Remember that those who do good prove that they are God’s children, and those who do evil prove that they do not know God.

HOW FREEING!  I can be free from the shame, guilt, whatever it is/has been that has been discouraging me from seeking people’s partnership in our ministry.

God has spoken!  And I know he speaks into your life as well!

This is the last night.

This is my last night, because God is challenging me to new depths, this is the last night, because God is asking me to take up what I have and do something with it. 

Tonight’s message was thought provoking and Spirit encouraging.  God is in the bussiness of growing us closer to Him.

I’ve been fighting a decent amount of fear, stress, and overall the feeling of “not being understood”.  Nearly all of it relates to my calling, Poland, Pastoring, Mentoring, Speaking, and just about everything in between.

I’m being challenged to “just do it”.  I’m looking for affirmation in all the wrong places, the only place I’ll see it, and I’ve ever had it, is in Jesus.  He’s ordered it, and he will see to it that he gets it.

Emma’s dedication

Last night we dedicated Emma to the Lord.  See the pictures here. It was a beautiful moment.  However, I felt so discouraged and upset with myself afterwords because the words I wanted to say completely left my head, however, what was said was still pretty darn good, just not what I originally wanted. 

The enemy tried to use this against me the entire night, it took a while for me to shake the lies from my head.  Stuff like “You can’t talk in front of people”, “You fumble on the platform, and always will”… it really had me going, I was so distracted for the rest of the evening that I hardly heard the message, except a part about Moses… that my small group all laughed at… but only us.  DING (inside joke).

Here’s what I wanted to say, and will say and pray:

As God the father dedicated His son to do his work, we dedicate Emma to be in His hands, wholly modlable.  Because of his ultimate love may she see His handiwork throughout her life and live set apart for great things.  Empowered by Jesus beyond measure and without limit – in His kingdom here on earth!

Cynicism verses positive faith

This is how I feel sometimes.

Where’s the line?  Between trying to keep it “real” and speaking in faith about life?  I’ve realized that I have a very whiny tone, especially since the fund raising stuff had to start up again.  Gosh, I’m actually a pretty positive person, but reading this blog you wouldn’t know it.

I have full faith that God is going to provide every last penny, and that through all of this we’ll learn more about His character and love for us.  Everything will be okay, it always is.  I’m also a reactive kind of person, while I like to think that I’m responsive, that I think things through, sometimes I simply react and find the “quickest” way not the best way to a solution.  That in turn leads to me processing rather negatively on here.

Of course I strive to keep things authentic here, and the balance lays somewhere between speaking out on the reality, and speaking positively about what and who I know God is.

I hate it.

One thing I have grown to loath is fund raising.  While it’s a pretty needed step in everything God has asked us to do, it isn’t easy.  The feeling I get with each request is that I feel like a beggar.  I hate it.  I know that most people don’t see it as begging, but the feeling doesn’t get better when the responses are either negative or nill.  We have had our share of negative responses from people who apparently do not know exactly what we are doing, and haven’t read the things we have done over the years.   Thankfully these kinds of responses have slowed down, and in fact the past couple of months we haven’t received a single one. 

However the lack of giving, and responses is the most de-motivating, and causes us to rethink our strategy, and especially in the hardest moments our calling. We have only had a handful of very large donations from very few people to support us the past five years, this is incredible and God has shown us amazing provision through this.  Yet I still want to believe in Acts, where all the believers shared in everything.  Not to toot our own horn and yet gracefully show a point – Alexis and I tithe to our home church and give offerings to four different missions projects, and soon a fifth.  We hope to always do this and be consistent, in both financial giving, prayers, and talking/encouraging with our friends abroad.
 
I’m not really sure what this entry is about, I guess it’s venting, I guess I have a small hope that it will motivate more people to give just a little.  It’s difficult to not be a bit discouraged, and believe me, Alexis and I know the truth, and plenty of people love to remind us (the pat statements, you know what I mean)… we know God will provide – it’s just the human factor we’re a bit unsure of right now, both in us, and others.

That’s not what I meant!

Have you ever had a meeting with someone, someone important in your life, like a boss, mentor, maybe a parent, or pastor, that after you left the meeting you said to yourself “dang I should have said this or that” or “why did I say that!” and you just can’t stop thinking about it? 

Well that’s me these past few weeks.. I was asked the question “what other kinds of things do you see yourself doing in the future”?  I replied with the strangest answers… only one was something I have a small passion for (writing), the rest was just filler, it wasn’t anything that I really would have liked to do, except just “vocational” things.  The truth is, my heart, my passion, and dare I say “calling” is in pastoral ministry.

After listening to the message tonight at church I’ve realized that I’ve let some of my fears prevent me from confidently walking in this calling.  Yes, I’m leading in a number of areas, and yes we plan on going to Poland in about two years for full time vocational ministry – yet, why didn’t I say that?  I think it’s because to say it to someone that is important in my life is like getting your driving license, or stepping foot on a university campus for the first time as a student – it “makes it real”.

Of course I can’t just self-declare this kind of thing, but I can align my life to it by having faith in what God has called me to, and not shying away for fear that “man” won’t accept it.  Man will because God has called it, but nothing will happen unless I walk it out first.

PS.  We’re looking for 467 people to donate $15, what’s a few Starbucks drinks?