April 2011 – No Small Talk

What’s the point?

Why do I do the things I do? Why do I hold onto the “high road” and look for “peace”?

Why do I discipline myself, correct myself, and look out for others? Why do I care when so little seemingly do not?

Why do I give so much, invest so much time, repeat myself, and give grace all around to receive “nothing” in return?

Why am I loyal, when most are not? Why do I commit when others will not? Why do I stay quiet when others won’t?

Why do things about life on earth and humanity bother me, but are the jokes of others? When will I learn, or when will they learn?

What effect do my “convictions” really have? How do I affect others when I screw up? Why is it hard for me to be satisfied?

Does it make any difference when I love instead of hate? Does it make any difference when I give grace when “grace isn’t deserved”?

Why are my values constantly conflicting? How do I prioritize the world, humanity, friends, family, and God?

Why do I so often shrink back to that middle-school kid who doesn’t have a voice? Why do people have to “confront” the little things and not the big things?

Why do people have to argue? Why can’t people just get along? When will we ever learn to have tolerance for each other?

When will we Christians ever learn to make allowances for each other’s faults? When will we Christians realize our God gave us this planet? Oh wait, when will we Christians be mature to first love, have grace, and tolerance in areas that are unimportant to salvation?

What’s the point, what’s the big idea? Who cares? Who knows? Does anyone care enough? Does anyone do enough? Does anyone live enough? Where’s our direction? Where’s our conviction? Where’s our love? Who will take action, just one small step at a time?

Who will lead? Shouldn’t we all? It’s true, none of us are disqualified, none of us are failures, we’re all just in this together – yet we do it alone. Alone we accomplish very little. Together, we make a difference. Weather we’re organized or not, simply doing, is better than sitting the game out. Love one another, talk to one another, set aside the differences and find the common items and play together.

Talk, learn, grow, be stretched, and most of all, humble yourself to your fellow humans, we all have something to share! Of course this has to be mutual, and that’s where my idealism usually falls apart, so few of us willing approach each other as equals. I find myself trapped there too, sometimes wanting to “win” a point – which isn’t the point at all… the point is to stretch, challenge, and maybe learn something from another’s viewpoint. Yes, there are certain truths in this world that can’t be “argued”, but they can be lived, and that is more powerful than anything.

I live this “idealistic” life not because I seek some amazing return on my investment, but because I know that in the end it matters more than anything to care for people, the planet, and the kingdom to come. Everything else is so trivial. Of course I like to have as much fun in the process as possible, as long as the goals remain, always… yeah I’m serious even when having fun.

And most of all, where does our help come from? It comes from the same source as those plants in the picture.

Nearly 12 years

This picture is one of the earliest pictures I have (digitally) of myself. It was taken in the late summer of 2002, about three years after I declared Jesus as Lord of my life. The other people in the picture are still very dear to me, even though I almost never talk with them anymore. When we visit the Seattle area we attempt (if time allows) to connect, which seems to be less and less as time and life go on. So the the main reason I’m writing this is because over the last 12 years of living this dedicated life I’ve always felt “giving up” just wasn’t a choice for me, in so many ways… little did I know how often this would be tested.

I could write a long entry about all the events of the last 12 years, and all the times I felt like calling this “Christianity” stuff quits. There’s a lot, a lot of times where people let me down, or I was being selfish, or times where seemingly the Church was just rather mediocre and I was upset. That basically sums up a lot of the “tests” where I had a decision to “give up” or march on through with the values that I knew were important to God, in some way, shape or form, where I had to truly look at the realities and truly realize that God and people are not the same… and also come to the realization that God expresses himself mainly through humanity… which by it’s very definition means there will be failure, let down, and many opportunities to “exit” “rightfully” (to put it in standard American mentality form).

Somewhere along the line I learned that God is always there, even in people who fail me, in situations that seem impossible, and most of all, times where I failed myself. I have many people to thank who gracefully, along the way, pointed me in the right direction, speaking wisdom from their lives, and listened to God. I also have a big thanks to God for placing His spirit in me, allowing me to hear his voice, when I choose. It’s these “little things” that have sustained me over these 12 years. Again I’m not sure what this entry is really about, I’m just pontificating… I guess…

The bottom line to this whole thing is that I am so saddened when people just walk away from Christ, when they just can’t see the difference between humanity and God – when, they get let down so hard and no one seemingly has any idea what to do. Again, there’s always the fine line of “how far do we go”. So often I think many of us don’t take risks, but for me, I’ll continue taking the risks, because I know Jesus is there – even when I get knocked out, I know He’ll get me back up again… and I’ll be more wise and ready the next time around.

The (sorry long, but exactly who I know I am) verses that sum up the identity that I believe every follow of Christ should know without any doubt:

Romans 8:22-39

22 For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us. 24 We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hopet for it. 25 But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.)

26 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. 27 And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. 28 And we know that God causes everything to work togethert for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. 29 For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.

31 What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? 32 Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? 33 Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. 34 Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.

35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 36 (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Tweets for the past week

Can't really see it, but that's snow and hail on a sunny day… spring in the NW. http://pi.pe/-fi00ax #
@AGHJanet lol sounds like a good choice… where boundaries are clearest freedom is greatest! #
I will not be distracted, I will not be distracted, I will not be distracted —– please. #
Jedyn na jedyn z Bóg #
Jeden na jednego z Bogiem! #
Oh boy… on my way to have my top two wisdom teeth removed… #
And I'm back, with two less wisdom teeth… yay me. Did it all awake 😉 my upper left wisdom tooth was "one the hardest to extract" yay me. #
@schramburger they didn't give them to me 🙁 #
I'm such an idealist, you would think I'd be disappointed all the time; nope! I instead become motivated by the needs I see all around. #
Time goes by so slowly when half your face is swollen, the sun is out, but all I wanna do is lay down. Thankfully tired and not in paid. #
Wow! Where are we??? Gresham! http://pi.pe/-9ydg9n #
PDX! Want an amazing Easter show? Check out Valjean (based on Les Miserables)! Free! 1 show tonight & 3 tomorrow – http://bit.ly/gXRxFZ #
Last night we experienced a very different and amazing easter "service" – Valjean (based on Les Miserables) Show times: http://bit.ly/gXRxFZ #
Not your normal church "Easter program". 6pm tonight & 3 shows tomorrow. Go then enjoy the Edgefield afterwards! Deets: http://bit.ly/gXRxFZ #
Vicodin FTW, some pain this morning, still stayed home all day, thankful for large windows on this sunny day! #
Just finished watching "God grew tired us" a docu about the lost boys of Sudan- AMAZING #awareness #lovefirst More here: http://j.mp/frg6Lb #

Tweets for the past week

Date night part 1 at Typhoon! #
Nasty sore throat this morning 🙁 I was just telling people last week it's been a long time since I was last sick. Here's to a quick fight. #
Hello Portland, Multnomah County #
Sinus pressure – ouch – sore throat gone (for the day, I'm sure it will come back in the morning) – no runny nose though…<update complete> #
Hello Michigan, United States #
Hello Oregon, United States #
Hello Gresham, Multnomah County #
woot woot my sinus preasure is gone. Take that "sickness" you're no match for the prayers of my three year old! Now I need Kleenex. #
Feeling a bit a better today. No nasty sore throat! A little congestion, but not ready bad.. #
Hello Portland, Multnomah County #
I'm in Gresham, Multnomah County #
I'm in Portland, Multnomah County #
My answer to the question "is humanity generally bad or good?" – most desire to do "good" (as seen by their culture) but all fall short. #
I'm in Salem, Marion County #
I'm in Gresham, Multnomah County #
I'm in Portland, Multnomah County #
Planes, trains, and automobiles for me today 🙂 Just wish the weather was better! Bound for a day trip to SEA today. #
I'm in Washington, United States #
I'm in Castle Rock, Cowlitz County #
I'm in Chehalis, Lewis County #
I'm in Centralia, Lewis County #
I'm in Tenino, Thurston County #
I'm in Olympia, Thurston County #
I'm in Gig Harbor, Pierce County #
I'm in Seattle, King County #
I'm in Mercer Island, King County #
I'm in Bellevue, King County #
I'm in Seatac, King County #
Shutting down for the 50 min flight to PDX from SEA 🙂 #
I'm in Oregon, United States #
I'm in Gresham, Multnomah County #
There's a girl gloating behind me… "look see how much my skin glows when I'm high"… #
Home! #

Relational value

The above picture is from a small group Alexis and I “lead” for three years. Normally when you think of “leading” it’s a lot of ideas about preparing, mentoring, and “bible study stuff”. In our case, it was a lot of those things, but a whole lot more. However, in spite of a lot of heartache, trauma, and down right warfare, we came to love each other as family. It’s been about six months since our last time together and well, just about everything and anything you could imagine has changed. Plans have been “altered” and our paths have been dramatically shifted in such ways that we almost never intersect anymore.

Yet, I would like to believe that if anything horrendous occurred we would remember the three years we were together and not let regular “life” get in the way of genuine relationship. I hold onto this hope, because, I know that within the church (of people) it can seem nearly impossible to be the Church (of the bible) we see. One of the scriptures that motivates me to be the leader that I know God has called me to be is Colossians 3:12-17:

¹² Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. ¹³ Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. ¹⁴ Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. ¹⁵ And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

¹⁶ Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts.¹⁷ And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.

So much can happen, disasters, deaths, disease, misunderstanding, miscommunication, warfare, mistakes, unforgivingness, and the list goes on and on – the bottom line is that we are dealing with humanity, and not just humanity, broken humanity. If we look at the relationships God has placed in our lives, can we say “he made a mistake”? No, we can’t – because he doesn’t make mistakes. Rather, we need to look at where maybe we made mistakes, and where we need to take the next steps to enter into community in the way he calls us to do – in peace and thankfulness.

Of course, let us not place ourselves in relationships where the enemy can cause harm amongst us, and let us not make relationships which do not honor our Lord – for that is not representing Him. Even in the Church the enemy has headways, and many times those are the areas where the Church fractures, where people get upset, bitter, and confused – because many times, in our broken humanity, we put the blame on our fellow brothers and sisters rather than the author of lies (the enemy). Of course, please do not hear me say none of us have responsibility for our actions, we do, it’s just that we need to recognize the author of the lies that drive our poor actions and choices.

Our responsibility to one another should be driven by honor, wisdom, and love. Many times this means allowing those who have gone before us to speak into our lives and provide guidance, even when we don’t really fully understand (or necessarily agree 100%) the guidance, that’s the season I’m in right now. Out of obedience to the principles that Christ laid out for His Church we shall prosper and live the abundant life.

There’s a lot more I could write, but I simply want to state this – if we filter our actions, our decisions, and our relationships based on the above, then maybe, just maybe, we might begin to see a love that surpasses all understanding, and they will know us for our love. It’s possible, I know it is, I have been there, multiple times – it’s a challenge, and it’s humbling, and not always easy, but it always rewarding. Do you value your relationships as Christ has called us?

Reboot every day

1 I look up to the mountains— does my help come from there? 2 My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth! 3 He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber. – Psalm 121 1-3 NLT

I’m on a team at our church that puts together the weekend message study guide that gets used for our small groups (or at least that’s the idea). Last week was my turn, so I got the privilege of knowing the topic, scripture, and normally even the sermon outline… however this time all I got were three fill in the blanks (for the slides) and the scripture – Psalm 121. I thought it was odd I didn’t receive the full sermon outline, but went ahead anyway with putting together the study guide. It was a fun journey, I hadn’t really gone deep into Psalm 121 in the past.

If you get a moment to read Psalm 121 in it’s entirety do it, it is only eight verses long, yet full of some of the most basic truths of our Christian walk. Sometimes it can be extreamly difficult to to realize that we are simply not in control, and that really, life is far more simple than we imagine, or make it out to be. However, in the midst of crazy times, and believe me I’m not short of crazy in my life, it is not easy to find the “simple truth”. The most significant theme in this Psalm is the fact that it declares God’s position in our lives, he is our King, and he is our God, and most of all he is our protector. Sometimes it may seem like a mind game to “lean on that truth” – nothing in scripture says it’s easy, or even anything like magic. It takes faith, and faith many times is not natural, it is, in fact, super-natural. Super – as in above, superior, and elevates the normal “situation”.

As long as I am in the right mindset to lean on these truths I find myself at peace, able to rest, and most importantly, able to process life. When I’m leaning on my own tools (worry, anger, fear, control) I lose hope, and many times cause damage to the relationships around me. Everyday I need to reboot, give up my control, and let God be in control.

May you know this in your heart with each moment of your day: Psalm 121:8 – The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go,
both now and forever.

Wisdom with humanity.

If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. – James 3:13 NLT

Last night I mused about “humility in humanity” based on the same verse above. Now, the question of the last year has been “what is wisdom?” Wisdom seems to have so many definitions, so many interpretations, and it seems, a lot of different consequences for not following the “right” wisdom. In the verses following the one above James writes:

17 But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. 18 And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness. – James 3:17-18 NLT

For myself, this sums it all right up, I really have nothing more to add… but for the sake of “processing” I’ll entertain these two verses for a little bit. The strongest point that stands out to me is “willing to yield to others” – I believe that today our society holds onto “entitlement” more than anything else… “I have a right to…” and “but I’m entitled to…” The second item to jump out… “It is full of mercy and good deeds” – hmm… that whole good deeds thing again… what is this, do we serve a God of works? – nope, because we don’t do that good works simply because “it’s the right thing to do”, we do the good works because we are urged, empowered, and motivated by our hearts to do them. Maybe the secret to wisdom is yielding and humbling ourselves to our fellow humanity in the name of our all loving God so that we might empower the many through Christ’s redemption?

Humility in humanity.

If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom – James 3:13

This is another post that I’m not sure is fully baked, but I’m hoping to just get the brain primed for breaking into a blogging mind-set again. I’ve got things stirring in my heart, I just gotta start letting them out somewhere, even if they are not up to my self-imposed “standards”.

The picture above is at Ground Zero in New York from when Alexis and I visited last month. Whenever I visit a city, of any significant size, I am always reminded of the fact that I’m just one small piece of a very large world. A world with as many different people, views, heartaches, joys, and terrible things as far as the human mind can comprehend… and then some. I believe one reason I enjoy cities so much is because God wired me to see the humanity he created. I can’t walk a few feet in any city and not be hit with the reality that we all share this world, and therefore, we all share the possibilities to have a relationship with God, and therefore, as a follow of Christ, and someone with a proclaimed “love” for Christ, I too must love His people.

So why did I quote James at the top of this post? Because I believe it to be the core of what the Christian life is about, living honorably (with truth and grace), and above all – doing good works with humility that comes from wisdom. You see, we can do everything “good” under the sun, for this cause, and that cause, and even for our own families, our own children, etc… but what does it matter if we do it for our own good, our own “story” or our own “facebook status” update…. It’s extreamly hard to do good works with humility – because many times in order to do something “good” it is usually “bigger than our selves” and thus requires the assistance of others to make it work. So many times I see these great “ideas” turn into “look at me” dramas.

I’ll let you all know, I’m not writing this post as a response to anything, nothing at all has prompted me to write this, except by my reading alone. My heart aches when I see our Church (not the church I go to, I mean the Church of Jesus’ followers world-wide) essentially waving a flag “look what we’re doing” – but inside there are broken, confused, and sometimes very dangerous people right under our noses. So many times I wonder if we just did what the heart of God commands us to do, love one another and love Him… then what would we see… it’s a question asked OVER and OVER…

Don’t get me wrong, I know there are amazing things happening, ALL OVER – and I wonder… how many great things are going on that we never hear of… because it’s done in humility? We may never know until the day we meet Jesus face to face. Until then, let’s check our hearts.

Next… the key point in that verse… humility that comes from wisdom… I guess we’ll need to see what wisdom is!

Tweets for the past week

Emma being silly like Grandpa http://pi.pe/-repbp1 #
@carlybish Read my comments on Facebook – Just sent you three different links 🙂 #
@carlybish ok, just commented a few more suggestions. I walked a friend through this very same kind of mess (except she was in "Scottland"). #
@carlybish You're welcome, I hope it works out in the end! #
Oversimplification does us no good. Overcomplication does not help. Over-loving never hurt anyone. Over-thinking always stalls me. #
Uh oh.. This MAX just came to a sudden stop.. moved forward & now stopped again. Now it tries to move and goes backward. Stuck 🙁 @trimet #
"Ladies and gentleman this train is experiencing mechanical problems, please collect your items and board the next train" #
Went backwards to the previous station… a nice 10 block walk to the office, not bad on a blue sky day 🙂 #
Sweet: Family Vacation! – http://j.mp/i48Q51 #
Hey @TriMet so when are the glass panels that were vandalized at Civic DR going to be replaced, it's been nearly a month of missing panels. #
@trimet Thanks, the vandalism makes us so mad, our apartment overlooks the station and we were shocked to see the broken panels and "tags". #
@AGHJanet Whoa! What's up?? Neighbor going crazy? #
So ready for some good food with Small Group! @easthillfamily #
@easthillfamily Thanks! The food last night was fantastic, eating a little left over dessert with my lunch today 🙂 #
Having the sun out on a Friday is A-mazing and A-wesome! #
Sun! sorry peeps I can't get over it! http://pi.pe/-v79t7w #
Travis is in Gresham, Multnomah County #
HOME! #
Happy 3rd Brithday to Emma Eileen! Sto Lat Sto Lat! http://pi.pe/-d5u0kr #
Hello Troutdale, Multnomah County #
Hello Corbett, Multnomah County #
Hello Bridal Veil, Multnomah County #
Hello Gresham, Multnomah County #
Enjoying a hike with Aj while the mommies get the nails done on the Princesses 🙂 http://pi.pe/-17jstw #
Water…. sort of a PNW staple. http://pi.pe/-z7zatu #
Looks cold… http://pi.pe/-8zkfwt #
Enjoying a hike with Aj while the mommies get the nails done on the Princesses 🙂 http://pi.pe/-26cakk #
@AGHJanet lol we just finished watching Tangled for the second time in about 12 hours… I think we have time to catch up 😉 #

Tweets for the past week

Every person u see was once a child; and that child still has the same needs. The ability to choose doesn't discount those needs. #lovefirst #
Yes, life has mysteries, & although we may not understand, the path through the mysteries has never changed. 1 Cor 13:4-7, 13 & Gal 5:22-26 #
@Pastor_Jas ALL the time, keeps life straight and narrow! #
Balancing the checkbook at Cafe D, while Emma and Alexis hang out w/ Alexis' family at the hotel pool they are staying at this weekend. #