I’m simply glad that we have a new beginning everyday with the Lord. For a variety of reasons, mostly relational, I have been challenged over the couple of years in ways I never imagined. I consider myself a very loyal person, I don’t “leave behind” relationships easily, I always try to make sure the lines of communication are open and clear, that people understand, and most of all that my love for them is the driving factor. However, these last couple of years have presented challenges which, at this point, I am simply stuck – unable to do much of anything but pray. As I wait for God and/or others to make the “move”, I find myself incredibly challenged and frustrated. There are times where I so badly want to yell at the other parties and make them “restart” and actually let God’s principles take place… but we are human, and so therefore, part of God’s principles are human in nature, because we are made in his image… (this is all very messy). Thus, with this humanity stuff mixed in, things can’t just “restart” and be back to “normal” or even some kind of “modified normal” in a time-frame I like.
So, I sit here today, still stunned, and when I think about everything (over the last couple of years) I begin to wonder will my ideal “restart” ever look like reality? At least I know, personally, God has given me a restart, and I gratefully take it at every chance I remember to (which is far less than I should). The strongest piece of truth I hold onto is the fact that God gave me clear words over the past year, the victory is His and can not be taken… obviously I need to ask what that looks like… because my picture sure isn’t reality (at this time). Love empowers, I just pray that I am continually refilled to continually pour out.