Listening to: Complainte de la Butte – Rufus Wainwright – Moulin Rouge [Original Soundtrack]
I hate feeling useless, needing to talk with people because I feel depressed, never accomplishing anything, be unmotivated, having to fight for every ounce of joy, need to prove myself to everyone. I hate it all. It’s killing me, I swing back and fourth from feeling as if I can move on, to simply just wanting to give up. God is constantly talking to me in these times, but at the same time I never go forth with anything, at least I never feel that I have in the way that I was suppose to have.
God, save me from this, reach down deep and heal all these lies and the negative motivators that simply burn me out. I wan to give my utmost for his highest, but I trip and fall, and that just ticks me off.