Oh but there is JOY!

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In contrast to my musings yesterday… I just wanted to remind myself and whoever might still read this that there is JOY in choosing to make sacrificial decisions. Now, my tendancy, and I think many Christian circles imply this, is to live life with God as if every action has an equal and opposite reaction. So if I decide to be selfish there’s a negative, and if I choose to sacrifice, there is a positive…. However I don’t read that idea in Scripture nor do I really see that happen in my life.

No, instead I usually always have another decision after every choice I make. I can choose to follow what God is calling me to do and then choose to react in dismay and complain about the apparent loss (no joy). Or if I choose to be selfish and leave God out of the picture I always have the opportunity to bring Him back into the picture and live in grace (joy) and possibly avoid the negative… or not, and live out whatever consequences the world we live in has in store. There’s a lot more I could add to this, but I’ll leave that to some other post.

So no matter my decision, I really do have the choice to then experience His joy. The kind of joy that comes from trusting God in provision, love, relationships, and with my emotions and circumstances. Because every time I choose to make what looks like a sacrifice in my eyes I always experience more peace, more confidence in Jesus, ands most of all the joy that no matter the situation, in the end we will ultimately have ever-lasting joy.

Sometimes though this joy can seem, at best, elusive and many times at worse, non-existent. This is when I have to take action and turn to Jesus for further guidance, further confirmation, but mostly just lean in on His truth. When I remember that we are in a war, and take His truth into the battles, I always encounter joy that can not be explained. These days, more often than not, it is in simple songs of worship, simple prayers of honesty, and sacrifices of my flesh where I encounter the joy and victory that only my Savior, the LORD my God, Jesus and His Holy Spirit can impart.

Love, live, life?

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I’m not quite sure what direction I want to go with this post but I’ll try to explain something that has been going on in my heart for a while now. It’s about how christian (maybe just Americans?) people handle decisions, how we make choices, and the things we weigh and use to justify our decisions.

If God is sovereign, if he’s our protector, and if he’s all loving…. then why do we let so many other items influence our decisions? I’m not talking about deciding what to eat for breakfast, I’m talking about decisions that have an impact on our relationships. Things that require commitment… many times instead of hearing “I think God is calling me to…. a new church, job, ministry”, whatever the case may be I hear things like… it’s safer for our family, it’s just more relaxing, the people seem more real, and my “favorite” God shows up more….. (myself included!).

That’s certainly not an exhaustive list, and at the same time God can certainly call us to do something or go somewhere and these other “good” things be true. But if our decisions and the way we communicate them are not about a work of God in your life… then are we living the Gospel? Jesus has some pretty straight ideas on what it takes to follow him… and a safe, clean, no risk life isn’t what I read. Leave your family, leave your possessions, sell everything for the common good of our brothers and sisters… share all. Those are just some of the things I read.

Now of course we don’t want to go off the deep end, because our decisions should never violate our Kingdom commitments, God, family, the Church community… of course living all of that out is a lot of work and discernment. Love first, love second, then make a decision. Let God’s voice lead our decisions, not the external issues. This doesn’t mean ignoring those issues, just don’t let them lead.

Basically, are our decisions putting trust into our LORD? Or into something else? Trust me when I say this… the enemy will devour and hijack you unless you take full responsibility to trust God AND be in active warfare with your LORD.

The ups and downs – Thank God for grace.

According to Wikipedia:

The sine wave or sinusoid is a mathematical function that describes a smooth repetitive oscillation. It occurs often in puremathematics, as well as physicssignal processingelectrical engineering and many other fields

If only all life could be described as “a smooth repetitive oscillation” – it seems life is more haphazard rather than smooth, you never know when the down is about to happen, but on the flip side you don’t know when the ups will begin either.  There are always three “powers” at play, the human, the Godly, and the satanic. With God being fully sovereign and all-knowing, it leaves the other two parties in a bit of a tug-o-war – until one surrenders to the Godly power (of which only the human power has that ability). However, this tug-o-war is not easily surrendered, since with all observation it appears we need to desperately fight it, we can’t give up, otherwise we’ll “lose our life” – but this is exactly what the enemy wants us to think.

I’m writing about this because the beauty in the surrender of our lives to God is that we receive grace for all our transgressions and all our fighting. We receive a life, that forever goes beyond this earthly life. In 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 Paul writes:

24 Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! 25 All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. 26 So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. 27 I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.

I pray that I may discipline myself to continue in the race God has called me (us, my bride, and my daughter and children to come) to run, to be the voice and servant to all man kind as Christ is, and be disciplined enough to surrender it all, each morning, day, and night. It is in this surrender that rest comes, and it is in rest that we encounter God. With His grace I will walk through the ups and downs, and in discipline I will love on and live on.

Gone stale…

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I’ve let this Blog go stale… my bad. Honestly this is because I think too much about the (possible) reactions of others. It’s a catch 22, because I want interaction but I don’t want to be misunderstood or labled. A lot of assumptions are made when people read things…. or may just the large chunk of people who like to over-react (without gathering facts or at least attempting to have some kind of compassion for fellow humanity) on comments all over the web.

So my stale-ness is due to fear of being rejected…. ok I’ve admitted that… when will this beast just go away. It wont I need to allow it to be slain, and there’s only one person I know who can slain beasts like that.

More will come… soon!

Values

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I like to have a review of my values from time to time. Many times values and priorities can be a little hard to separate yet I’ll just go with the flow and figure out the priorities later.

This is not an exhaustive list, rather this is more of a evaluation if certain spoken or desired values that I would like to make priority and be more intentional about.

Life with God: Currently I’m enjoying a good continuous conversation with God but I’m not including him in every aspect.

Marriage: The past 6 months have introduced a lot of fantastic things, feeling like we have a stronger friendship is one of the best pieces. I would like to see myself feeling more natural about it, but I guess having to think about it and be intentional has its benefits.

Church: This is probably the most lacking for me right now. While we are “there” on a very regular basis the community aspect of it seems harder and harder to live out due to people being so insanly busy that organic family-like community is hard to work out. We’ll be joining a small group soon and I have a lot of ideas and ideology that may be hard to not expect.

Humanity: Still very much stuck on living a life of compassion giving… our society culture do not cultivate the humananity focused and compassion I feel. God is people focused, why aren’t we?

More laters ….

Goodbye 2010!

A day of photo-ing in Seattle after Thanksgiving 2010

A day of photo-ing in Seattle after Thanksgiving 2010 – Family Picture by Carlybish.com

Well, the year 2010 is not exactly a year I want to repeat. So many different disappointing and frustrating events, while personally I have learned more than I asked for, and I am thankful for that, I would like to see 2011 be a year where dreams, promises, and new beginnings come alive. I find peace in the fact that through all of 2010’s tribulations, relationally, financially and spiritually I have witnessed and experienced , time and time again, God’s provision and, more importantly, His peace throughout.

So without further ado, I present you my 2010 list of observations, ideas, remarks, etc; basically everything I’ve wanted to say for a long time. Somethings are helpful, while some are not, they are just observations, some opinion, and as usual, not exactly fully baked ideas – if only I had time to write full discourses on my ideas!

LIFE: Well as one of my favorite movies puts it, life really is like a box of chocolates. However, I find that the labels on the chocolates at least work as a kind of guide, as do the stereotypical labels in life, I know, I’m not suppose to like the labels, however, stereotypes exist for a reason. In 2010 I learned that some of the common “warning labels” in life are well worth it, even if others around are seemingly OK ignoring them. We still don’t really know what we’re going to get, but at least we can expect to either have nuts or not.

MINISTRY: 2010 was an interesting year of transition for myself, and family. We went from being involved in 4 ministries, to zero. Watching people, grow as people, in Christ, and with one another is a huge gift. We had originally planned to be in Poland by the end of the year we took the opportunity to hand off and step out of ministry. However, as most of you know, our plans changed dramatically when my overseas employment opportunity fizzled away. At times I miss being involved, and I still check in and watch from a distance the people I have grown to love, and at the same time it has opened up the opportunity for Alexis and I to focus on us and minister to one another and Emma before skydiving into our Poland adventure.

CHURCH: Ministry, God, Life, Church – why write about each of these separately? Well, because they distinctly different aspects of Christian life – interdependent on each other. Each aspect cultivates the others in some way or another. Church is probably the most volatile factor of all, mostly, because it depends on imperfect humanity to actually be listening and obeying God. So, inherit to this condition, mistakes happen, and people either choose to put blame on the church or a leader in the Church. One of my biggest lessons for 2010 has been, God ordained the Church, he works through the Church, and he works through imperfect humanity.

Thus, I choose not to blame the Church, rather I am constantly reminded that all of the “bad” things I see, all the frustrations I feel, and all the negative things people say about “the Church” – is mostly the same as in the world – it’s just “worse” when it’s in the Church because the expectations are high – which is kind of strange considering we are all human, so the expectations should really be equal. God sees humanity all the same, every single one of us. So what’s the big deal? The big deal is this: when we choose to see God as who he really is, and not how the world sees Him, then the Church and the world become two completely different entities. This brings so much freedom, we are empowered to love the Church and the world as equals, and live freely! Because the Church is God’s, not humanity’s.

CULTURE: I have been challenged by the idea of “Kingdom” culture more in 2010 than any other year (maybe that’s the way it works, increasing each year). Living life according to “the kingdom of heaven is like…” can be, honestly, frustrating. We live in such a culture/world that does not honor the ways of the Kingdom, and most of the time, the “Church” doesn’t recognize it either, because, as I said above, the Church is made of humans, and we humans live in this world – we don’t, naturally, live in the Kingdom. We have to be intentional about living super-natural, kingdom culture lives. Contextualizing “our culture” and “kingdom culture” is not easy, and so many  people want to react and make it black and white, when really it’s extremely colorful and requires a patient response, not knee-jerk reactions. Above all, kingdom culture requires living by the identity God has given us.

GOD: Is the same. However, I am not. I’ve realized much more about God this year, including, the incredibly amazing ability He has to comfort, to provide, to supernaturally grant forgiveness when usually it would be “black and white” to the rest of the world to say “screw you”, and a whole lot more. I’m also enjoying Him much more as a “person”, and feeling His heart more often. So much to say about just these two points – let’s just say “give me his eyes” is only the beginning of humility, and in my opinion, the way it ought to be. If you haven’t read “Blue Like Jazz” – do so, now! That song, and that book combined, literally opened my eyes and mind to see people, circumstances, crisis, humanity, in a way which I know, from deep within my soul, is how God sees and feels, and desires us to see and feel as well.

FAMILY NEWS: Since this is already getting to be a very long post, I’ll bullet point this piece.

  • Emma turned two! And she is doing all the wonderful (and amazing) things two year olds do!
  • Emma is speaking in full sentences and learning more every day. She’s also picking up on Polish pretty quickly (at least when Mom and Dad use it, and we need to use it more!)!
  • Alexis and I are looking forward to more time together, with our schedule freed up by less ministry things in our lives, we are focusing this next year on growing as a couple and as a family… yes, we hope to have another child this year!
  • Emma loves the color pink, we tried, we “vowed” to never make her a pink girl, but alas, it has happened.
  • Alexis and I doing some marriage groups at our Church, and so far, the gleaning from other couples has been terrific!
  • As always, we covet your prayers and please know, we are never to busy for you! Drop us a message, have coffee, anything, we’ll make it work!

POLAND: Although our plans changed, the ultimate destination has not, and we will be fundraising (see next section) with hopes of moving to Krakow, Poland by the end of 2011. With that said, we are more excited than before, God has shown us many things in 2010 that will make our move to Poland far powerful than we could have imagined. One new thing on the horizon is that in July we hope to have a “reverse mission trip” with a Polish family we have come to adore and love. We will be fundraising for this, and arranging time for this couple to glean from church leaders, small groups, and other ministry times, so that they can have more tools to do ministry in Poland. The primary goal is to provide a relational support network for them, and connect them to people who can be praying, and also so people here in the States can meet and get to know who we will be working alongside when we move!

FUND RAISING: If we hadn’t attended a support-raising seminar at Foursquare Missions International headquarters in LA back in November, we would be telling you we have fund-raising fatigue! But, rather, by God’s grace, we have been renewed, and starting in January we will be kicking off a full blown fund-raising season. We know that what God has asked us to do is far too important to not ask people to partner in the ministry with us, support-raising is just as much a part of the ministry as is discipling in Poland. We also know that going with 100% of our budget is the only way, if we go with less, than our ministry will be less – sure, maybe more for God to do, and although we know he moves when we can not, we also know that God can move ahead and we can be 100% supported before we go. If you want to know more, simply visit our website at www.reachpolska.info, or to begin donating now (we need people NOW) click here.

MISSIONS: My idea of  what “Missions” is has been gradually evolving, and in 2010 I think it came to look something like this:

Matthew 28:18-20 [nlt]: 18 Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. 19 Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. 20 Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

Essentially, go, expose the truth of humanity and God, disciple the people there, baptize them with a clean and pure motive to seek God, all of God. And remember, Jesus is always with us, so fear not. I know this is “over simplification” – BELIEVE me there’s a lot to this that revolves around context, culture, family, etc, but hey, we need to start with the basics and allow God to move us.

TRAVEL: In 2010 we did some traveling, in January we took a three week trip to Poland, a trip with nothing more than to build up the relationships we already had in place. It was a great time of encouragement and laying the ground work for our move.

Then in July we went to the San Juan islands of Washington State for our four year anniversary, it was fantastic and included whale watching!

Lastly, I got the opportunity to be a part of, our friend, Aris’ wedding in Frankfurt, Germany, with that trip I took the opportunity to make a quick trip to visit friends in Nowy Targ, Poland as well – both parts of the trip were incredibly God-ordained!

FINAL THOUGHTS: I like to write, but I fight myself too much on how people might react or respond… I hope people respond rather than react. I hate having to remind people that what I write isn’t a full on discourse to argue a point, but rather, it’s usually a snippet of thought, or concern, to chew on. Anyway, I pray that 2011 is full of love, grace, forgiveness, and truly new beginnings for you and all around us. Remember, there will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, no more fears, and we will see Jesus face to face – the final redemption!

Time does not stop

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"Urban living" in Gresham

Well, this past year has been one of the most interesting for me and my family. Lots of bumps, lots of fun times, and lots of “what on earth are we doing!” moments. It seems, as though out of our control, time has decided to continue on. So many times in this last year it seemed like time was going by far to slow, it seemed we were waiting for something, but wasn’t quite sure. Now, time seems to be flying by, not because we’re having fun (we are far from having any kind of fun), but because all of sudden, we are at a place that we could’ve never imagined. It’s as if we woke up and our plane was hi-jacked, and no one announced what our new destination was.

For the most part we have been content not knowing the destination, after all, God likes to give assignments and adventures to his children. We are in no doubt that Poland is our ultimate, physical location and calling. However, God is definitely teaching us through the process, and while we walk through this desert experience, following God around, we will try to not complain about the mana. We have a lot to learn and know it will take time, time which is not stopping. So because time doesn’t want to stop for us, and we obviously can’t ignore that it moves on, we are focusing our energy.

God’s provision, protection, and love have been (as expected, yet hard to understand at times) overwhelmingly evident. We are surrounded by amazing friends, and we know the next year will be full of love, hope, and renewal. While time moves on, we will move with it, and we will move with God in his timing. God’s grace and truth is most important and this next year is to focus on those things, applying them in ways we know will be new and renewing.

The hedge

DSC_0679.JPGSometimes I don’t understand it.

Other times I’m so grateful.

Many times I just don’t see it.

The hedge.

In good times and bad times.

In happy times and sad times.

Times of horror and times of joy.

The hedge is there.

Because He loves me.

Because He seeks me.

He protects me.

The hedge he provides me.

In the hedge is frustration.

In the hedge is fruition.

Beside the hedge is safety.

The hedge is Him.

The hedge – can you see it?

Keep on knocking

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Luke 11:5-8 [nlt]

5 Then, teaching them more about prayer, he used this story: “Suppose you went to a friend’s house at midnight, wanting to borrow three loaves of bread. You say to him, 6 ‘A friend of mine has just arrived for a visit, and I have nothing for him to eat.’ 7 And suppose he calls out from his bedroom, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is locked for the night, and my family and I are all in bed. I can’t help you.’ 8 But I tell you this—though he won’t do it for friendship’s sake, if you keep knocking long enough, he will get up and give you whatever you need because of your shameless persistence.

Wow… hello world, yes there is actually someone here today. I have no real idea what to write about, there is so much going on, so many things I could write about, yet, I guess I’m giving into “who really cares” at the moment. However, I know there are plenty who do care. I know that in our crazy lives we will easily assume “no one cares”. However, our God is bigger than that, he actually works through his people… did you know that!? Yup, it’s true, people can be used by God.

So, why is it so hard to believe, so hard to actually see? Because I think the enemy has so many of us right where he wants us… apathetic, fearful, and “not equipped”. I myself have been in this place so many times, and many times I’m completely unaware until something hits me in the head. Everyday I think about this kind of thing, the things that I observe about the Church, people, society… and so often it seems so big, so unchangeable. The truth is, outside of God using us, it is unchangeable.

So this little parable about the friend knocking… it’s in reference to prayer… is God the friend in the house? Kinda not the God I’ve been taught about… essentially a cranky old man who doesn’t want to help his friend at night? – I know in my heart this isn’t who God is, but sure seems like it at times… but I realize I’m looking at the wrong part of the story. The last line tells it all “he will get up and give you whatever you need because of your shameless persistence” not whatever you want but whatever you need. This is the key, God will give us whatever we need when we are persistent.

Being persistent is one of the hardest things for me to do, I feel like I’m either trying to sell something, I’m acting without faith, or I’m not where I should be. Jesus doesn’t end the story there…

Luke 11:9-12 [nlt]

9 “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

11 “You fathers—if your children ask for a fish, do you give them a snake instead? 12 Or if they ask for an egg, do you give them a scorpion? Of course not! 13 So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.”

Father God, give me your wisdom, give me your eyes, give me your peace, and give me your love. May I continue to operate with you, and you alone. I want to be your disciple first, seek love in my marriage, and father my children in your ways. I know your plans are good, and I know your promises are true. May I bless you oh God, may I seek you in all things, fill my spirit with your will, and may I do what you do in Heaven, here on earth!

Not being paid, but love it.

Emma and mama 032.JPGAlexis and I have been involved with leading ministry since before we were married (we took a year long break just after our wedding, 4 years ago this week!), and during all this time I have worked full time. We are currently in the process of becoming licensed Pastors (yes, both of us) and do not have plans to become “full time staff” anywhere. While there are times where I personally have longed to have 100% of my focus on ministry, I am seeing some things change in our world where I don’t think that’s going to be the norm.

I believe the people of the Church should support the Church through their tithes and extra special offerings, if everyone who had a Church they called “home” would tithe 10% we might see a lot more, not because there would be more money, but because there would be more sacrifice, tithing is not about supporting/paying the Church, it’s about your personal sacrifice, do you trust God in your life with your finances? Tithes are also not a tax, we can’t expect “services” from our tithes.

But with that said, I also believe that bi-vocational ministry (working full time outside the Church, and serving as a pastor, leader, teacher, etc inside the Church) can play a key role in building the Church to a place where we can “prepare God’s people for the works of service, so that the body may be built up” (Eph 4:12). I believe with all my heart that every single person who has a relationship with Jesus Christ has the gifts to minister, both inside and outside the Church. We must be mentoring our young, and we must be wise to listen to our elders, weather or not we are in a full-time paid ministry position, or simply obeying God by walking out our gifts, we are a called people! Ministry is not a job, it is not “work” in the sense of paid-work, it is love in action, it is the Church being who the Church is.

I love doing what I do in the Church, listening, encouraging, speaking life into people, loving on people, simply “being” there, speaking truth (even when it’s hard), and giving grace. I love, love, love it. I so badly wish I didn’t have to work, I wish I could do this full time, sometimes I really hate how tired I am from “work” and I really don’t feel like “pastoring” or “loving” or “ministering”. However, it never fails that as soon as I humble myself, let my flesh burn a little, and I obey God’s voice to do what he has gifted me to do, my energy level rises, my passion grows, and God does amazing things. So, as I read today in Isaiah 6:8 – “Here I am. Send me” – just as I did nearly 5 and a half years ago as I began my first year interning at East Hill. Love is how the world will know us, and our love of the Church (or lack thereof) will determine just how much actual (remember, who is love?) love spreads.