Everything

find me here

speak to me

i want to feel you

i need to hear you

you are the light

that is leading me

to the place where

i find peace again

you are the strength

that keeps me walking

you are the hope

that keeps me trusting

you are the life to my soul

you are my purpose

you are everything

and how can i

stand here with you

and not be moved by you

would you tell me

how could it be

any better than this

you calm the storms

you give me rest

you hold me in your hands

you won’t let me fall

you still my heart

and you take my breath away

would you take me in

would you take me deeper now

’cause you’re all i want

you are all i need

you are everything

everything

lifehouse

This song sums up everything which I feel for God.

I was meant to worship God. So there I was tonight, after a long exhausting day of work, visiting my parents, picking up fish, and driving from Duvall to Mill Creek with a stop over in Woodinville to drop the poor fish off and their home, which I haven?t had a chance to setup so they are just swimming around in a vase. Sometimes I feel like I?m just swimming around in a vase too, but that?s another story. I love Thursday evenings, young adults group. I love this group, it is so different from the other groups I?m a part of, it?s unique, and it?s challenging. The people are genuine, and the worship? great. I love worshiping, but I love being in a place of worship in which the leaders lead you into worship with God. This kind of worship is my favorite; it enables me to be free in my worship, and to allow God to talk to me.

Now, I?m an emotional person; some would say I don?t hide it very well, I would have to agree with them, I just can?t. I know most males, boys, men, don?t show their emotions that well, or even at all, but I think they have the same emotions as me. Some just do not know how to show it because they felt the pressure all their lives to suppress it, or something has happened or been done to them which has killed their emotional link. I had that happen for a while, I let everything stir up inside of me and then when someone did wrong to me I would just blow up, not good, not Christ like. I have learned through Worship, that God has made a peace for us, and we can tap into it, it?s awesome! That peace, is the Holy Spirit! It allows me to be emotional, not worry about it, and to do what is right and wrong and his spirit leads me in his will.

I actually came to know Christ while worshipping, although at the time I didn?t know what worshipping was all about, I realize that just the music alone (which worship is more than just the music) is enough to make a person think? I remember the words ?and step by step you?ll lead me, all of the days of my life? those are the words that shuddered down my body like a flag in a wind storm. I wanted to know what it was like to follow God, so I chose to. Ever since that day I have come closer and closer to God not only through musical worship but by meeting people who worship God in everything they do, that is how I want to live my life, I want to worship God in everything I say and do, and I want it to be from my heart! I love God and he loves me, he loves US and he loves YOU. All of this is because God has reconditioned my heart, using something I already had a passion for, music, he turned my life around, and now I worship him with what I love. I may not play guitar, or have a good voice, but music of all kinds vibrates through my body, because music is an emotional thing. I love to worship, I love to sing to God, I love to praise God, and I love to express my worship for God.

So I love worshipping, I hope to keep it on him. I guess my thoughts are, love God will all your heart and soul, worship him all the time as if he’s given you a new life, because HE HAS!

.: prayer, prayer requests :.

Lord I praise you, you are awesome, mighty, and simply the best friend we have.

I ask you to continue taking away the temptations in my life; I praise you for giving me the strength to beat those temptations I?ve been struggling with! It?s been almost 5 days now Lord, you?re awesome!

I pray for CRU, and I ask that everyone always feel welcomed, although I don?t personally talk to everyone I ask for you to use me, and use us on campus Lord.

I pray for all of my friends, Lord I ask you to just bless them and I ask that they continue to seek your heart. I ask that you bring three certain people closer to you lord, these people are searching for you Lord, I ask that you continue to just bless my life with these people, and I ask that they come to know your son Jesus, and come to know your hope, peace, love, joy happiness, patience, and agape love, the love that only God can give, 100% unconditional love.

Thanks for the changes in my life, and I continue to ask for repentance.

I ask all of these things and the unknown prayers of my friends, co-workers, family and peers to all be answered. Thank you Lord.

Worshiping in spirit and in truth [John 4:19-24]

?Sir,? the women said, ?you must be a prophet. So tell me, why is it that you Jews insist that Jerusalem is the only place of worship, while we Samaritans claim it is here at mount Gerizim, where our ancestors worshiped??

Jesus replied, ?Believe me, the time is coming when it will no longer matter whether you worship the Father here or in Jerusalem. You Samaritans know so little about the one you worship, while we Jews know all about him, for salvations comes through the Jews. But the time is coming and is already here when true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth. The Father is looking for anyone who will worship him that way. For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.?

Do you ever get the idea that your just not as exciting as you want to be, or as entertaining as you should or want to be? I know I do. All the time, I?m thinking sheesh, if I could have just said this, or done this that way, then people would have felt good or laughed. I guess this stems from the whole idea that I want people to notice me, but I don?t really want them to all at the same time, for if people notice me then I feel this fake pressure that I need to act that way around them all the time. I?m constantly feeling like I?m boring around people? probably because I?m boring to my self.

So what do I do about this? A lot of the time I can snap out of it by listening in on the conversation, and then as soon as I have something to say I break in. But this is a problem, you see, my brain works faster then I can speak, and a lot of time what I say is not what I mean it to sound like. Many of the times I end up cutting someone off, and I HATE that, but I just don?t think about it because I feel like I?m going to forget the thought in my head, which a lot of the time I do, and then there I go again, looking either bored, or unexcited.

God has placed so much on my heart! But it all seems to be with interacting with people, and right now I don?t think I do a great job of that. I feel like a fool when I speak in front of groups, and I am really nervous around new people who I should be comfortable around, at least who I think are expecting me to know something. I know that going to Poland will help me in these areas, and I believe that God is going to train me, and make me stronger; it?s just not my time yet. As one of my close friends has told me time and time again, I just need to be more confident. I need self confidence. How do I get this confidence though? I?ve just got to know my stuff, whatever that is. Thankfully I?ve got the Holy Spirit to help me, with out it (and I know what it?s like w/o it) I?m a bumbling fool who can?t talk straight!

I need to slow down; I need to just take my time when I?m formulating my thoughts. I think I explain my self better in writing because I have to slow down and think. Would someone let me know if this does help?

.: prayers, prayer requests :.

Oh Father God,

You are awesome, incredible, never changing, the best thing to happen to me.

I come to you, broken, tonight I have new respect for you.

I ask for confidence. I ask for healing for my friends Mom. And I ask for more of you in my life.

I thank you for your grace, mercy and love. Thank you for answering all of our prayers. Thank you for being our God, our Father.

Lack of confidence makes us struggle [Jeremiah 1:6-8]

?O Sovereign Lord,? I said, ?I can?t speak for you! I?m too young!?

?Don?t say that,? the Lord replied, ?for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don?t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and take care of you. I, the Lord, have spoken!?

And another thought. So I?ve had this idea of a great day on the town, and until tonight I never really thought of it as being a date, but two really cool friends suggested it as one, so now it just might be one. 🙂 Of course it could be a really fun group activity too, but kinda expensive? maybe someday? we could all take our wives/husbands!

Here it is?. Imagine going down to the Seattle center, we arrive around noon on a beautiful winter day (hopefully with snow!). We have fun on the rides, go beat each other up with bumper cars, take a few rides on the roller coaster, look at all the art. Then right before the sun sets we go up to observation deck of the Space Needle. Watch the sun set, and have dinner in the restaurant (I?ve never eaten there, and I?ve read the new management is cheaper and has pretty good food). Then, we?ll take a ride on the monorail to Westlake center, go shopping in the mall for a little while. Walk outside, brrrr it?s cold out here, stop into the coffee shop get somthin? to drink, then go across the street and take a ride on the carousel. Then take one of those horse and buggy tour rides down to the water front, with all the lights around town lit up, and the Christmas carolers! Then we return to the Westlake area, and go shopping and window shopping in all of the big stores! And spend the rest of the night (at until the Monorail leaves, or maybe just we?ll walk back? that?s fun too) just loving Seattle, because we do! Thank God.

So how does that sound??? God, I think I want a wife who would enjoy this kind of stuff? 🙂

Don’t worry about tomorrow, for today brings enough worries of it’s own….

Here I am, I?ve told my boss about my plans for Poland. Wow, God is good, he took it well. I was worrying about it so badly, and everything came out just fine.

So here I am, at work, bored, when I shouldn’t be… but the first half of the day I felt like I couldn’t breathe, so now I?m just burnt out. I have been thinking a lot lately about the future, and the past. The future holds many questions, and if you keep trying to answer them you’ll turn your self in to a neurotic maniac!

What the future holds.

In one day,

another day of work,

three meals

and time with friends.

In one week,

more work,

many more meals,

and time with friends,

hopefully good times.

In one month,

Christmas will be done,

The new year will have come,

Hopefully I?ll have had some fun,

and CRU will be back from the winter conference!

In one year,

I?ll have been in Poland for about three months,

I?ll have had thanksgiving with new friends,

but w/o family

I?m sure I?ll be having some home sickness,

and I?ll be writing home to friends and family asking for prayer!

but I?m sure that I?ll finally have the feeling that I?m in a place God wants me!

So here I am. I have some questions….

Why is it so hard for some people to just be happy?

Why do people get so upset at things of which they have no understanding?

Why oh why do we try to understand everything?

What is the problem with just listening to your gut feelings of right or wrong?

What is going on in this world, why must we always bend over backwords just to make people happy?

Loving someone doesn’t mean your going to make them happy!

I don’t know… just questions.

So, there I was reading everyone’s blogs!

(the words “holy oranges!” to the tune of silent night, the words It’s getting… to the tune of “it’s starting to look a lot like christmas”.)

Holy oranges! It’s gettin’ to look a lot like blogmas, all around my life.

Yeah I have like eight blogs I catch up to on a daily basis. It’s a great way to learn more about people, see the side you don’t always see. If you wanna see all my friend’s blogs, look the right, see the departures section, yeah that… click on those links, them all me friends.

So, yay, i’ve had my first customer, just now, as I was writing this… weee…. didn’t buy anything, but he got the information, to take home to his boy… 🙂

so now i start the serious part of this blog.

You know what really drives me nuts, when I fail to live up to my own goals! I am always making goals, goals, which seem fairly simple to achieve. In my case they are all goals to stop something, which is self-destructive. I think my problem is that I try to achieve all of these goals all at once, and I tend to start with the hardest one. That?s not good, how am I suppose to ever get them achieved?

As you may have guessed I have fallen once again, and now I?m beginning to feel like I?m not as close to God as I thought I was. I mean I still feel his heart beat, and his tug on my heart all the time, but why do I keep falling? Why do I keep on blowing it right in front of his face?

But I tell you this my brothers and sisters, it is getting better, what use to be every day, a lot of the time multiple times a day, is becoming less and less, and I actually go sometimes a week or two with out falling? so it?s happening, just not as fast as I imagined.

If it were not for my friends I have no idea where I would be today. In fact I would have probably gone off to the city, and left everyone behind, thank you to my friend from preschool you changed my life! If it were not for you I would have fallen into the world, so far that I would have never returned. Well I guess that isn?t giving God much credit? God is truly good, he used you to change my life, never stop serving the lord, you never know who you may affect. I am a life that was changed.

.: prayers, prayer requests :.

God on high!

I ask for the courage, and wisdom when I finally (once again I failed a Goal, but I had distractions I tell you, I did?) tell my boss that I want a leave of absence to go to Poland for next year. I know this is your plan, so I shouldn?t worry, so if anything calm my nerves.

I ask for a few close friends, which I don?t talk to much, to continue to seek your heart, and to know you closer. Thanks.

Thank you for the technology that I can have a great, awesome, wanna get to know you better, and all around great guy of a friend call me all the way from the freakin? south pole (freakin = freaking, as in wild)!!! I love you! (God and my friend).

Thanks for the change, albeit slow in my eyes, it?s happening, and I need to hold on, and stop diving at the temptation. Thanks for letting my share, somewhere, thanks. In Jesus? name AMEN!

Car! You have to catch up on your blog then! 🙂

Anywho… I luve ya’ll and I love the description deal thingy put in the template… the “quote” by sarah… fun fun… so I betta get to bed… got to getup in like uhhhh… oh boy 4 hours… yuck yuck… oh my oh my but i’m not tired.. that’s a problem. So hmmm this is really annoying… I don’t know what to do. Fiona and Jon have left the building, but my roomate Eric is still here…. so that’s cool… yeah your probably thinking, yeah why wouldn’t his roomate be there… well he doesn’t live here… yet… so anyway that’s why… What else can I ramble on… let’s see. Oh yeah go to my Blog, find the “depatures” section… (just fyi, it’s on the right, no left, no right, yeah your right). See everyone I brought to this blog world… yeah… crazy huh? Well… I think i’m almost done with this… well maybe not. This is getting fun… So, carly, what’s up? Ryan? Jon? Sarah… anyone else out there??? Lauren! Yeah You! umm… well I think my job here is done. w/ much love. -Travis @ oh dark early, and he’s gunna be late for work. 🙂 I’ve got a stupid server that keeps getting it’s hard drive eatin alive by something… very strange gigabytes of data being eatin up… hmmm… OH YEAH!! PRAY FOR ME! I’m telling the Administration (and my Boss) about my escape (well ya know… ) to Poland… so… I NEED MEGA prayer… I’m REALLY nervous. So … w/ much love, for real this time. -Travis @ oh darker early.

Women are unique. I believe they are the glue of our society, personally with out women in my life; it would be boring, not because I lust after them, or have another other desire, then to just be their friend. I love talking to females; they give a point of view that is so much more than simple logic. Now, don?t get me wrong I very much enjoy talking to other brothers; they let me know that I?m not alone when I?m having women issues, or just have questions. God made women, he said man (as in human kind) should not be alone, so he married Adam to Eve, the first and only perfect couple.

Eyes, they tell so much, I love looking into a girls eyes, and talking to them with their eyes, I think they say so much. I love girls who laugh, and can laugh with joy! I also love girls who are completely in love with Jesus, and have no fear of sharing their faith! Women of God are women who know how to communicate. Now, we all have our insecurities, our little quirks, but I adore those little things, that is what makes us unique, and I just yearn to know those things. I thank God for women! I thank God for making relationships like this! I love God (in the highest way possible, the English language is so blah). Can you tell how excited I am?! So back to the topic at hand? I am truly thankful for girls (I say girls, and I don?t know why? I guess it sounds more innocent).

Girls provide a balance which only they can provide, I think men need that compassionate side shown and provided to them. Men could learn a lot if they just watched, and took notes on the way women communicate; I have a few guy friends that know this, and they have awesome relationships with their girl friends/fianc?s. I like girls who are almost mysterious? but not so much so that they do not share, and then get them selves depressed, upset and/or angry. I like girls who know where they are, where they stand, what they believe and can explain it, although I can?t always explain my self until I write it down, or blog it down.

Life is just awesome, and in many ways it is a box of chocolates, you never know what your gunna get, and I like it that way! You know what? Chick flicks rock, flowers are awesome, God is love, pictures are rad, decorating is fun, and I like matching my clothes and wearing shoes which match too! I love having a fire, and listening to Christmas music and having only the Christmas lights on, and sipping hot cocoa. I also like my Car, hiking, mountain biking, riding horses, running, anything out doors (although I don?t get to do it much), watching ?geek? shows (Tech TV, Discovery, etc), political science? And more than anything else I LOVE, adore, and am very passionate in worshiping GOD almighty!

.: prayers, prayer requests :.

Lord Almighty,

I ask for the courage and strength to tell my boss about my missions trip to Poland, I ask that he feel/see your wisdom through me, I ask that you hold me accountable for my actions, and I ask for your strength most of all!

I continue to change, I continue repent, my life is a box of chocolates, but I am so thankful for that.

I thank you for providing me with my awesome friends, my awesome family (and I ask that you bring them closer to you, in everyway possible), my awesome Job, the awesome opportunity to share your word, not only with the people of Poland, but with fellow peers at Cascadia, and with my family and with the people I work with! I am over joyed by all of this! AMEN!

Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands [Ephesians 5:21-33]

And further, you will submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. You wives will submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of his body, the church; he gave his life to be her Savior. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives must submit to your husbands in everything.

And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and God?s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man is actually loving himself when he loves his wife. No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it, just as Christ cares for his body, which is the church. And we are his body.

As the Scriptures say, ?A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.? This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.