I want to understand people. And I want them to understand me. But I always find my self watering down the ideas and words which pop into my head; or I never find the words I want at the right time. This is so frustrating for me, I guess it all comes down to, I want to make an impression on people, I don?t want to impress people, I just want them to be inspired, or moved, or have something change in their lives because of what I said, or did, not because it?s me, but because I want people to have hope, love, and happiness. But I never seem to have that affect on people; at least I never see or hear that. I know that what I say will stick around, and is like a seed. For my own selfish reasons I would like to know that I have actually made a positive change in someone?s life. I want to be influential, I want to make a difference, and I want to change the world. This may sound scary, but I want to do all these things because Christ made a difference in my life, and he used people to do that, and I want him to now use me, I know he has, but I want to be used even more.

I think for Christ to use me though, I need to get out of the traps that I?m stuck in, and I?ve been stuck in them even before I knew Jesus. Therefore, I truly believe I am going to Poland because of this; to be some place where I will need to rely on God %100, and to seek him in everything I do. While I?m there I will be showing people there the love, hope and happiness that Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit have brought to me. I will share with them everything that has happened in my life. God has put people on my heart. This much I know.

I am not bothered by many things. But there are these few things that continues to bother me, over the past few weeks, and months?

1. Christians (and I truly believe they are Christians, I?m not judging their salvation) who claim to know the hope and life of Christ, but deny him by their actions and words.

2. Religion! I am sick and tired of being put into the pool of ?religion?, people say that we, as Christians condemn people with out knowing them, and we don?t accept anything or anyone who does not fit the perfect image. FALSE, at least it should be! There are many ?Christians? who do condemn others, like gays, blacks, other religions. Christ told us to love the world, hate the sin. On a side note, now in this world of ?acceptance?, should we as Christians be accepted, shouldn?t the world learn what we are truly about? Shouldn?t Christians leave their boxes and learn and accept the world, and love it? Just because Christians know homosexuality is a sin (one of which I?ve dealt with in my own personal life, we were made only in one way to reproduce, you don?t see this in other animals, and if we do I would like to see the studies on this), doesn?t mean that WE (Christians) should sentence the person to death! Love the person as Christ loves US!

3. Christians love God! We love people! We love life! Why don?t Christians show this to people who don?t know God? Because we are human, we have faults, it is built into us, but we are also made to seek and to know that HE IS GOD. I find it interesting that people all around the world, wonder all the time are we alone here on this planet? Or when someone is angry, upset, gets hurt that they ?pray? in whatever fashion it is, they prayer to a ?higher power?, we were created to find him. He gave us that path, through Jesus Christ. We as humans have both sides, we have all fallen short of the awesome power of God, and we all seek to know him. At some time in your adult life you had a chance to deny or accept that God was real, but I believe that even until the day you die you continue to seek him, either by constantly denying he is there, or by always growing with him. I have a challenge to all Christians out there? Even when you don?t feel good, when your tired, when your angry, stop; look at your self, ask your self what Jesus would have done in this situation, ask the Holy Spirit to intervene, then continue. You?ll find yourself in a more pleasant atmosphere, and you won?t be offended as easily. I am tired of the hypocrisy in the Christian world; you either strive to be like Christ or not, you either strive to of the world or not; it?s your choice. But I?ll tell you what, I?m a lot happier striving to be like Christ, even when I don?t feel like it, even if my heart really isn?t in the right place, as long as I make the conscience effort to be like him, then my heart is turned around.

.: prayers, prayer requests :.

Jesus you are so full of love, hope and happiness. With out you, I would be completely lost, maybe temporarily happy, but permanently lost in the world.

I ask you to fill me up, take away the traps I?ve been in. I praise you for the time I have had today, and the time I have had with out falling into sin, I ask you to keep me strong.

I am changing, slowly I am, thanks.

Thank you for all of my friends, and everyone you put in my life! They are all AWESOME! Every single one of them help me come closer to you, and I just realized that you put me in people?s lives to do the same, and I thank you for that too!

I commit my life to you lord.

In the awesome and powerful name and life of Jesus Christ,


Jesus Clears the Temple [Mathew 21:12-13]

Jesus entered the Temple and began to drive out the merchants and their customers. He knocked over the tables of the money changers and the stalls of those selling doves. He said, ?The Scriptures declare, ?My temple will be called a place of prayer,? but you have turned in into a den of thieves!?

-= foot notes =-

Even Jesus got angry. It is okay to get righteously angry, in this example Jesus was mad at the merchants because they had turned the temple into a place of commercialism instead of a place of Worship. They were doing these things in the name of ?God?, but their hearts were to only get rich and not to honor God. Just like you and I, we must check our Hearts; are we honoring God, or our selves and others?