Go to Part One, Three, Four
So two years ago I made the decision to be content with life, the way it was. Then a year after that decision, I made another one to go to Poland. As a part of that second decision, I realized starting any relationship would probably be a distraction, so I focused my energy on preparing to leave. However, God had some other plans, more on that later. During that first year I made a point not to become romantically involved with anyone who was not a friend first, romantics came second to anything. Knowing a girl (or guy) as a friend first is not only safer, but also a lot less stressful. I had some standards, some ideas before this time in my life, but not anything written down. So I wrote a list, it wasn’t anything like, must have blue eyes, blond hair, etc… physical features do not mean a thing, but I do admit I had one “must be shorter than I”. I also decided that the next relationship was not going to be “just dating”, or “just checking out”, it was going to be “is this someone I want to marry?”. Over time that list morphed and changed (even the height requirement disappeared), and God was molding my heart, and I even became confident that I could live the rest of my life without a spouse, and with out dating, I became truly content.
I had a steadfast plan, which did not include any significant other. I was going to prepare myself as much as possible for the upcoming adventure. Apparently God had more to that plan. About five months after my decision to come to Poland, I met a girl. I thought she hated me the first time we really had a chance to talk, and I didn’t even give her a second thought; until we became friends through simply hanging out. Over the course of those first six months Alexis and I talked about all kinds of things, family values, thoughts on relationships, love of life, love of God, and best of all life experiences. Slowly but surely, things lined up, many things I had never thought about, but we agreed, we were “equally yoked” as some would say. This was the beginning of a new kind of feeling, but I had decided, nope no way, I am leaving for a year. I was not going to experiment with my heart, while on the other side of the planet. I prayed, and prayed, and for two weeks I thought hard, talked to some close friends… Not a single person thought I was crazy, but I did.
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is worth more than precious rubies. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” [Prov 31:10,28,29]
“You ask these questions because you yourself long to meet your soul’s match. Don’t pretend I don’t know you, child. You have your First Mother’s eyes. They looked just like yours do now when she was longing for the Garden. But you miss someone you’ve never met. You want to run through time and glimpse that first meeting. You want to know how you’ll know him. But you need not fret.”
“But it doesn’t seem fair to me,” Elanna said, the words born of frustration tumbling out. “It was so easy for you. The Maker brought Grandmother to you. She was the only woman for you. She was the only woman!”
“But here, now, it’s so different-so, so confusing.”
“It’s not more confusing,” he said gently. “It only seems that way. Our meeting was ‘easy’ as you put it, not because we were the only humankind, but because in those sweet days before we disobeyed we implicitly trusted The Maker to bring what was good.” He reached out and with both hands lifted her head so her eyes looked into his. “My dear child what you must try to see is that nothing has changed. When the Maker brings you your husband, you’ll be aware that it was the Maker who made you for each other and He who planned your meeting. And in that moment, just as we did, you’ll want to sing a song of praise to Him.” [Passage from the preface of Boy Meets Girl]