Why are some people not able to be real? Maybe they have been hurt by someone else (I think all of us have to an extent), we are afraid of showing a true self because it might be rejected; being real requires honesty on a higher level. I can understand someone who is truly trying to protect themselves, and is not acting fake. Most people are not fully open with just anyone because that would be (in most circumstances) plain stupid. We need to be in a deep relationship to be completely open and honest; we have to feel supported even when conflict occurs. However, there are still people who even when offered these things, reject them, and they try to please, make peace, and avoid conflict at all costs, including the loss of friendships. It is these kinds of people who drive me crazy, they are the ones who are hurting others by their actions, and it is these people who need to understand what deep relationships are. Most of these people, in my observation, have not opened their hearts for healing; instead, they work hard at keeping others out of their heart.
The reason I am as open as I am (and I think I could be even more so), is that I am not afraid of people knowing everything about me, there is no “dirt” on me, yes I have sins, oh well we all do. If admitting my sins to another person helps them to see that I do have compassion for them, then there is no reason to hide the sin. There is never any reason to hide sin; I want my friends to know, because in admitting my sin I have support and accountability to prevent it in the future. Being open and honest about my feelings, my sins, my life, has allowed me to be healed (or be in the healing process), and allowed me to help others seek healing and guidance. It is very hard to take those first steps of openness, but the rewards are more than I could ever write in words.