I use to joke about being “OC” or “OCD”, but I now realize that I do obsess over things such as “disrespect” and “rudeness”. What I mean is that when I feel someone has “wronged” me, I become overly obsessed with that situation, and I either completely get on the person’s case, or if that is not possible I become so disconnected from the rest of the world I get absolutely nothing done. Thanks to a great friend of mine who has gone through similar issues I now have some tools to get through those times, and realize that just because someone did not communicate something, or that something was not done as I asked, or whatever the reason, that person isn’t trying to “disrespect” me or be “rude” to me, it’s simply a miscommunication, it happens, we are human.
The root of this issue is perfectionism, I have had a lot of control over my life, especially before I decided to take the ultimate risk and follow God in faith. But since following God’s call and depending on faith, I have learned that I can not be perfect, nor is anyone around me. I have no control, even the little bit that I claim to have on a day-to-day basis is not really in y control. God is providing, just enough, at just the right time, and my faith is increasing at a steady pace, not lightning speed.
There are some major things happening right now in the ministry that I am involved in right now, as part of the internship program. It’s another one of these calls to faith, bit more control is going to need to be dropped, and simply put, I am afraid. I know that I’ll want to compare myself to others, and that I’ll feel that I am not as qualified, but I must know that God’s call is all that qualifies me.
Lord, I ask for your guidance, your voice to be strong, to keep me from the temptations of the enemy. I praise you for what you have done, for where you have managed to pull my stubborn soul, I thank you for this too. Continue to be the center of my relationship with Alexis and guide us into the right time for the next step. May all of this, and everything else I have no clue about, bring you glory, and people to faith in you.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.