I’m really frustrated with a lot of things right now, there are a lot of loose ends in my life right now. Some if it is lack of communication, another part is simply feeling like I’m doing “all the work” in a number of areas, and lastly just the lack of time due to working full-time, having a family, and balancing ministry all at the same time. None of these areas are in any kind of bad shape, it’s just that I am personally finding myself on the edge, annoyed, and generally moody.
Thankfully I feel God’s hand in all of this and have an understanding that I would have had a few years ago. Yet at the same time my flesh still wants to freak out, and I’m easily irritated. There are many times where I feel like I just don’t have the outlet to vent, either because it’s inappropriate (meaning not the right people to talk with), or just emotionally draining. Alexis gets the brunt of this, which just makes me more upset, it’s probably all a case of “being drained” which I hate to admit.
I love what I do, when I’m doing it – but the preparation, admin work, and the lack of time due to this season we are in, is hard to stay on top of. There are some friends I wish I could spend a lot more time with in these kind of seasons, and that is probably the area I’m feeling the most “drained” in. Alexis is being amazing and understanding, and is doing amazing herself, work is providing all kinds of accomplishment, the ministry pieces are growing and showing fruit. Personally I just need to take some time to myself, without feeling like I’m taking away from one of these other areas – which in reality isnt’ true, because if I don’t invest in myself, the other areas will fall apart too.