It seems that the only time I have to write on here, that wouldn't be taking away from something more important is when I'm on the MAX (Protlands light rail). The past months have been full of a lot of preasure, after $1200 in dental bills and someother misc unexpected costs our savings is drained, and the pay cut I took at my new job is painfull. However I would not trade this job for my old one, a place with vision and growth is amazing.
However the reality that we are always short and the idea of buying a place build up to preasure that is far beyond any financial whole I have ever been in. It's not that we are starving, but when the gas in the cars run out and I know there isn't any money to fill it, things in my head begin to freak out.
God's hand has always been on our finances, and we always live through this, but for whatever reason this season is amounting to more than I can handle. Add on top of the finances everything else we do, which are very fufilling but with our own concerns we are drained. We've begun cutting some things from our schedule, which is frustrating but good. Our budget is cut down to the last penny, so I 'spose our time will be too.
In the end I'm really feeling attacked on the financial side. We made all the "right" choices, had a very good savings, we were paying everything and saving even on the new salary. Then it seems everything hit us at once – and now our extra bills are higher then what we were putting into savings. The math doesn't work. God has shown us over and over this kind of math, and he has always made it work. This just hasn't happened in our personal finances, just on our mission trips.
And then over the weekend we got a notice from the IRS To audit our 2007 taxes. I'm afraid that because of not knowing we would receive a 1099 that year on our missions contributions we will end up paying taxes on it, even though we have all the invoices for traveling – it doesn't matter because the missions org we went through does not tell us how to use the money – they are only a clearing house for the funds and it's up to us to spend it and pay taxes on it. This is the last straw for me. I'm burnt out about the money.
Along with all of that is tons and tons of paper work. Now I know there will be comments on this, just please know that I am fully aware of what God can do. So this written because I'm simply processing it, not because I don't know what to do. I am waiting on the Lord and fighting the enemy's lies. The feelings and fight are intense though but thankfully my security is knowing God's character – and I pray that I'll be able to post how God took care of it all and show everyone his love and glory, and encourage others to trust in him!