Tag: Fear

Emma’s dedication

Last night we dedicated Emma to the Lord.  See the pictures here. It was a beautiful moment.  However, I felt so discouraged and upset with myself afterwords because the words I wanted to say completely left my head, however, what was said was still pretty darn good, just not what I originally wanted. 

The enemy tried to use this against me the entire night, it took a while for me to shake the lies from my head.  Stuff like “You can’t talk in front of people”, “You fumble on the platform, and always will”… it really had me going, I was so distracted for the rest of the evening that I hardly heard the message, except a part about Moses… that my small group all laughed at… but only us.  DING (inside joke).

Here’s what I wanted to say, and will say and pray:

As God the father dedicated His son to do his work, we dedicate Emma to be in His hands, wholly modlable.  Because of his ultimate love may she see His handiwork throughout her life and live set apart for great things.  Empowered by Jesus beyond measure and without limit – in His kingdom here on earth!

That’s not what I meant!

Have you ever had a meeting with someone, someone important in your life, like a boss, mentor, maybe a parent, or pastor, that after you left the meeting you said to yourself “dang I should have said this or that” or “why did I say that!” and you just can’t stop thinking about it? 

Well that’s me these past few weeks.. I was asked the question “what other kinds of things do you see yourself doing in the future”?  I replied with the strangest answers… only one was something I have a small passion for (writing), the rest was just filler, it wasn’t anything that I really would have liked to do, except just “vocational” things.  The truth is, my heart, my passion, and dare I say “calling” is in pastoral ministry.

After listening to the message tonight at church I’ve realized that I’ve let some of my fears prevent me from confidently walking in this calling.  Yes, I’m leading in a number of areas, and yes we plan on going to Poland in about two years for full time vocational ministry – yet, why didn’t I say that?  I think it’s because to say it to someone that is important in my life is like getting your driving license, or stepping foot on a university campus for the first time as a student – it “makes it real”.

Of course I can’t just self-declare this kind of thing, but I can align my life to it by having faith in what God has called me to, and not shying away for fear that “man” won’t accept it.  Man will because God has called it, but nothing will happen unless I walk it out first.

PS.  We’re looking for 467 people to donate $15, what’s a few Starbucks drinks?