Some thoughts from my Monday morning commute on the TriMet number 9 bus… mobile post, might not make any sense.
Do you have memories of things you’ve done or said that make you cringe? Maybe it’s just me that thinks back on the pas sometimes and wishes I could just erase some of these things. I know that it is these things which make me who I am, so in the end I’m ok with it. Although some of the following memories have some strong emotions of embarrassment, I’m listing them anyway because these are in the past and I need to just lay it down and be who o know I am, whether or not I’m embarrassed. Most of these things are little, but for some reason or another they have or do provoke some feelings that made/make me cringe.
2nd grade – kicking my desk when I got frustrated with math.
2nd grade – lying to a teacher about a jump rope being stolen, getting another (“popular”) classmate in trouble.
5th grade – Not understanding my math homework, and then getting a “white slip”, which was the highest in fraction, for not completing it.
6th grade – Crying after my English teacher mistakenly accused me of lying about finishing a book when indeed I had.
7th grade – being told by one of my best friends “to away, don’t sit here” at lunch on the first day of school and my very emotional response.
In more recent years it’s been a number of speaking opportunities that have haunted me, one was just last spring, mostly because I didn’t receive any productive feedback nor has anyone offered to have me speak again, total insecurity here, I know I need to just askand learn.
I always cringe when I don’t follow up on things I’m leading, I hate it when I fail in my own values, I know I’m just human In a mesed up world.
Love overcomes performance, that’s the bottom line, live it, think it, speak it.