So, you want to know what’s been on my heart lately? Well as some of you may have noticed, I’ve been counting the days I’ve stayed pure, and it’s been really great, and incase your wondering I’ve happily cleared day nine. Although I have been struggling with images in my mind, I wish I could just delete the crap I’ve put in my head, but I realize its going to get into my head if I try or not; but the more I cut off the better, and less stuff to create things images in my head.
Now, for the hard part, since I believe if someone professes their sins, they can be rid of that sin, I will explain a little more about this problem of mine. I struggle with homosexuality (it took me 10 min to type that). I am 100% convinced it is a sin, I am upset with my self every time I have the urge, the desire, or even any thought, because I know it is wrong, I know it does not honor God in anyway, neither does heterosexual lust. All sin is the same, the difference is weather or not you change from your sinful lives, I want more than anything to honor God, and to do this I must change (or repent) of my sins. The Holy Spirit has worked in my life, I can not tell you Homosexuality is not a sin, it is, but it is like any other, if you live in sin, you dishonor God. Any lust outside of your marriage does not honor God; even in your marriage it’s possible to dishonor God. Now I can’t ever imagine being “in love” with another man, that I have never even wanted or desired, I believe because my first sexual encounter was sexual abuse from another male, I for some reason have physical attraction to other males. But that’s all it is; physical, second to God, my next desire is to marry a women of God and have children to raise in his ways. I have no desire to have any kind of relationship, besides friendships, with males. All I want is to rid my self of the sexual, lustful urges I get. So, now that I’ve poured out my heart, let the healing begin. I know God is good, all the time, God is good.
And their prayer offered in faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will make them well. And anyone who has committed sins will be forgiven.
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and wonderful results. Elijah was as human as we are, and yet when he prayed earnestly that no rain would fall, none fell for the next three and a half years!
If we say we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and refusing to accept the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.
[1 John 1:8-10]
-= prayers =-
– To remove all temptation from my life, and to have these urges and desires change into healthy God honoring ones
– For my friends who are in any kind of relationship, to keep Christ in the center, and to seek him first
– For a roommate
– For financial support for Poland
-= praises =-
– God is helping me become bolder, so I can serve him more
– I can worship freely
– Gods presence is with me