I think I’ve figured something out. Even though I love making sure people are walking straight with the Lord, I’ve learned it is better just to let people make their own mistakes, unless they ask you for advice. People have to take the first step in order to be helped. This is a very hard thing for me to do, I want to so badly tell them and sometimes even prevent them from making the choices they are making. I hate seeing people fall into the same wholes over and over again. I hate seeing people get depressed because of their choices, for the most part (I know there are some physical reasons) I think depression is a sum of people’s choices. I would really like to see people grow stronger and stronger because they want to, not because they feel forced, because many times that fails.

It’s taken me five years to realize that the main reason I’ve gotten to the point I am today is because I wanted to, not because people told me everything I was doing wrong, and pointed out all the bad stuff. It’s because people pointed out the good, told me the good, and showed me the good by their lifestyles. This is hard for me to grasp, even though I now realize that it was exactly what I did. It’s true that a few events I went to, I listened to the speaker, and made a decision to try, but I believe the majority of that was the Holy Spirit using that speaker to further expose a problem I was already dealing with. All I can do is pray and give subtle hints to my brothers and sisters when I see them making a choice which does not honor God. My closer friends know what these things are, so I think it’s okay for me to say things here and there, I just have to be careful not to condemn them.

I need to read the word more, and be in prayer on a consistent pattern. I need accountability, I need to grow. I’m very interested in seeing how Jesus dealt with this situation, I think that’ll be my next series of reading, how Jesus dealt with the apostles when they made poor decisions. I need to be still and listen. Thank God school is ending, so I can devote more time to him, and really make a plan for my self.