Month: April 2004

If I ever visit Finland I better find out if it has mandatory military service, and what the criteria is. This pour young man from Seattle is out of luck.

Please pray for one of my very good friends. She is actually the one who led me to know Jesus. She will be going in for heart surgery in just over four hours in Seattle (7:30am Seattle time). She has an amazing will, just pray that she knows God hands are with her, and the surgeon’s work is guided with wisdom. I do not know any of the details, such as the type of operation or the risks involved, but I know if something horrible happens, I will be devastated. I know her walk with the Lord has not been the most stable, but her faith is strong, she knows God is there.

Why are some people not able to be real? Maybe they have been hurt by someone else (I think all of us have to an extent), we are afraid of showing a true self because it might be rejected; being real requires honesty on a higher level. I can understand someone who is truly trying to protect themselves, and is not acting fake. Most people are not fully open with just anyone because that would be (in most circumstances) plain stupid. We need to be in a deep relationship to be completely open and honest; we have to feel supported even when conflict occurs. However, there are still people who even when offered these things, reject them, and they try to please, make peace, and avoid conflict at all costs, including the loss of friendships. It is these kinds of people who drive me crazy, they are the ones who are hurting others by their actions, and it is these people who need to understand what deep relationships are. Most of these people, in my observation, have not opened their hearts for healing; instead, they work hard at keeping others out of their heart.

The reason I am as open as I am (and I think I could be even more so), is that I am not afraid of people knowing everything about me, there is no “dirt” on me, yes I have sins, oh well we all do. If admitting my sins to another person helps them to see that I do have compassion for them, then there is no reason to hide the sin. There is never any reason to hide sin; I want my friends to know, because in admitting my sin I have support and accountability to prevent it in the future. Being open and honest about my feelings, my sins, my life, has allowed me to be healed (or be in the healing process), and allowed me to help others seek healing and guidance. It is very hard to take those first steps of openness, but the rewards are more than I could ever write in words.

If there is one thing that bugs me more than anything it is a person not being real. Thus, I am really bugged, because it seems most people do not know what is to be real. Being real means taking responsibility for your own actions, sometimes it even means taking responsibility of something that was not yours in order to help another. A real person will be honest about his or her emotions and will not hide them or let them stew until they can only explode. Being open and honest is more than just speaking your mind, it is knowing what to say and how to say it so it edifies others; to honestly love someone, you see their need and you show them the way to fulfill it.

The worst part about this “being real” deal is that when I sense someone not being real with me I just don’t want to even really know the person. I know this is hypocritical to my own thoughts, but really, who wants to befriend someone who hides what they are feeling, who says one thing but does another? Being a peacemaker (which most Christians are good at playing that role) is not being real; it is simply trying to make the emotions go away. Only once the emotional needs are met and healed will peace ever prevail.

Thankfully I have a handful of friends are unreal because they are so real with me and with others. They have no problem letting me know when I am out of line, they are not afraid of confrontation, this is real love, this is God’s kinds of love. Unless we can confront reality, how will we ever be able to know love? If saw someone who was about to drive off the end of a bridge into a river 40 or more feet below I would warn them, right? Well I see people all the time doing that very thing with their lives, and I see even more people say, “Well it doesn’t effect me, they can do what they want, it isn’t hurting anyone”. No, it is not right and I will not let it happen anymore, at least I will warn them, after that is there choice. Be real.

I have been a bit quiet here, simply because there has been a lot to do. We finally got a meeting place that is not inside my apartment, it’s about the same size as my bedroom here (slightly smaller than the living room, where we were meeting before) it’ll be just fine for a while, plus it’s a place we can meet anytime and we now have an “office” its great. Today we painted, and we are still paining, lots of crazy work left to do. Thanks for the prayers and the support, things are looking amazingly awesome here. I also started school this week, an online class at Cascadia (in the Seattle area) looks like it will be an interesting class, the instructor is instructing from Mexico. I’ve had some thoughts running through my mind, I want to post them on here soon, just got to get in the right mindset and have the time. God is good.