Why do I say the selfish things I say? Why do I respond so harshly? Why is my flesh fighting so hard to stay in control? Why do I find myself in this place again? Lord I do not understand myself, I am convicted, yet I continue to make stupid decisions, or I simply forget that I already learned this lesson and I get stuck on repeat. I am sick of repeating, sick of taking three steps forward and then two back, sick of having to change directions at less than half way through a goal and therefore never finishing anything.
Nevertheless, blessed be your name, even through these trials, for your ways only lead to goodness and prosperity. There is light at the end of this tunnel. The weight of your glory slowly but steadily fills my thoughts, my plans, my life. Nothing of mine would be worth anything without you. Everything of mine is because of your great love. Everyone in my life is a gift from you. May everything I do and say be honoring, glorifying, and a blessing to you.
Thank you for today, keeping me from temptation, forgiving me of my sins and directing me to live a lifestyle of repentance.
PS. My wallett came back! Of course it appeared (from the couch where two of us looked, and virtually turned upside down) two weeks after I lost it, and a week after I ordered new cards. The funny thing is, all of my cards came in the mail on the same day that my wallet and I were reunited…