Month: March 2004

Alexis, Ryan and I are going to Auschwitz today; I was there in the fall. This time we will be our own tour guides, it will take a little over two hours to get there, and as of right now we are a bit behind in schedule, oh well. I think it will be a great time for all of us. I hope to check out some more of the national exhibits. I know last time I was affected in a strong way, I think this time I will be in another way. There is no way of visiting Auschwitz and not be affected, if someone is not, they must have some real serious issues keeping them from seeing injustice.

And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are away on a journey, when you are lying down and when you are getting up again. – Just imagine if we all listened and obeyed, from our hearts, minds, and souls. [Deut 6:6-7]

I received more gifts today than any other Birthday I can ever remember, amazing! Alexis and I were also able to share what God has put on our hearts, to share the foundation of our relationship with others. It was truly an amazing time, I cried at least three times, and felt the urge a number of other times. The hardest time was talking about the importance of fellowship and accountability with my other awesome guy friends, I just could not control myself and the tears flowed, I miss all of them. My heart is full of love, not to “convert” people but simply lend an ear, someone who can be asked questions safely, someone who is real. I am sure that is what happened tonight, even if it is only philosophy for some. My relationship with Alexis is the best thing to happen to me, it is stretching me to be a better human, and it is helping me became closer to God. I would have been completely fine to live a life like Paul, who never married, but now I know that marriages are just as blessed and together Alexis and I can make a difference for those who are seeking to be fulfilled.

I have no agenda to do anything more than be the person God would want me to be, I have no pressure of “converting” anyone, I only wish to show them my life, and invite them to have the same rock as I do. I will live one-step at a time, with Jesus lighting each step. Sometimes I think, “If God didn’t exist what a sad life, you live, then die, no purpose” I refuse to believe that, at least I live a life of hope and purpose.
*thank you Alexis *thank you Sabina *thank you Ryan *thank you Denise and Carol *thanks everyone who came!

It is here, my birthday has suddenly snuck up on me, and I really do not know what to do. I do not have any plans, only to hang out with Alexis and Ryan, and later on, we will have our Young Adults meeting. I wish I could say I was excited, but it is really just a neutral feeling. At least I have one of the best blessings in my life here with me, and a really great friend too, that is a lot more than I figured I would have when I left just over six months ago! So, tomorrow I will be twenty-two.

Twenty-two years old, what does someone do at twenty-two? I have had an incredible life thus far. I had an alcoholic father, which my mom divorced before I had any memory, and then he died when I was five. I grew up in a small town, my mom remarried and we had a good family life, no evil “step-dad” that many people do experience. However, as most families, we had our dysfunctional parts, but now we all are growing closer. My teen years were rough, with sexual abuse, identity issues, and the other “normal” teen issues. Then I found God, God’s love, and the love he showed through his people completely engulfed me. I was blessed with a very well paying job, my own apartment, a new car, and the ability to afford the car, all of this, and I don’t believe in the whole “health and wealth” junk that some churches preach. Now I am living on the opposite side of the world, where I have none of that, none of those people at an easy reach. I have many cultural things to figure out, and many other things to figure out. However, the intimacy I have with God is ten times more than I could ever imagine before. I feel my life is much richer. For being only twenty-two, life has offered me a lot, and I can only imagine what God holds for me in the future.

Something which has become very true lately, however, it is strangly refresshing!
O LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your rage. Have compassion on me, LORD, for I am weak. Heal me, LORD, for my body is in agony. I am sick at heart. How long, O LORD, until you restore me? Return, O LORD, and rescue me. Save me because of your unfailing love. For in death, who remembers you? Who can praise you from the grave? I am worn out from sobbing. Every night tears drench my bed; my pillow is wet from weeping. My vision is blurred by grief; my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies. Go away, all you who do evil, for the LORD has heard my crying. The LORD has heard my plea; the LORD will answer my prayer. May all my enemies be disgraced and terrified. May they suddenly turn back in shame. [Psalm 6]

So, last night Alexis and I picked up my friend Ryan, it took us almost four hours to reach the airport because the traffic was horrible. However, he is an incredible breath of fresh air; it is amazing how nice it is just to have someone from the same culture, and really laid back. Tomorrow we will be traveling a bit in our area in search of cool things to take pictures of; one item on our list is to visit one of the castles in this area. The castle has a nice restaurant where Alexis, Ryan and I will have a nice lunch. Later in the day, I have to teach English, and then afterwards I am not sure what we will do, probably explore a bit of Zakopane, talk, and then I might have something a little more spiritual to write about.

The weekend was great, there is a lot to write about in regards to our trip to the western part of Poland. Wroclaw was amazing; Alexis and I had a great time, and some great Italian food. The city is absolutely beautiful, but of course I forgot my camera, I always do when we do something cool. Ryan does not, so I shall have plenty of pictures when it is all good. A good point of prayer would be for the pasturing couple we visited near Wroclaw, they are in the middle of a very hard situation right now, and support is weak in the denomination they belong too. The situation is so damaging not only to the pastors, but also to the people in the church, I will have more later.

Thank you all for your prayers in the last few weeks, things have been really tuff, but now life seems to be getting brighter. Last night a friend of one of our young adult ladies accepted Jesus! That is great news, keep her in your prayers. My paradigm is shifting, and I know it is God shifting it, thank you again for your prayers.