Month: March 2004

I just read Genesis one, intriguing stories. In chapter one, we see God create the universe, the amazingly complex world we live in. Contrary to all other science, the world asks us to believe the universe came to be by some kind of random explosion, while all other science says there is a reason and order to all things. Most scientists also say that life moves from complexity to simplicity not the other way around, however, when it comes to the creation of the universe their explanation contradicts that theory. Most Scientist say that the universe came by random explosion and became more complex, contradictory if you ask me.

Also in Chapter one God gives man complete authority of the Earth (Gen 1:28-31), giving them complete control, which meant complete sovereignty and free will. Along with all his other creation, including angles, and the angels (now evil) who would fall and be jealous of their maker. Man chose to know about the “good and evil” in the world, thus, giving God only two options, destroy all his creation (which would have contradicted his promise of giving complete authority to man), or offer man a choice to be redeemed of their disobedience. Thus, god came to Earth as Jesus to show man the way to restore the relationship, which they broke.

Went nearly to Warsaw again for a “Foreign missionaries conference”. I have a lot of cool ideas, and new connections, but I just got home and I am exhausted, it is off to bed.

We held hands in the back seat of the car, driving through very dense fog, on our way to Krakow international airport. It was the last time we would hold hands, for another five and a half months many miles will separate us again. However, the lump at the back of my throat, and the tears that streamed down my face once I was alone, tell me, our love will not fade, it shall grow only stronger. God is calling us closer together, our walks are growing stronger, and our hearts are for the same people. The sun came out, a hint of spring, and hints of new life were all around us. I saw the sparkle in her eyes as she stepped out of my reach, for five weeks she was the sparkle of my life. She is the greatest blessing God has bestowed upon me, thus far, and HE deserves the greatest praise. I pray she is the sparkle of my entire life.

There was a time when you belonged to another
Counting the moments down till you freed yourself
I stood here waiting in my own selfish candlelight
Praying that God would send you down from Heaven

And then I saw your face, I saw a brand new day
I saw your eyes aglow, it sparked my heart to fire

Do you remember the first time I put your hand into mine?
Do you remember the first time I ever kissed your lips?
Do you remember the time that we danced in the rain?
We couldn’t sleep for days
Come on and take my hand,
let me lead you home to our new life

Then I saw your smile and it drove me crazy
The way I feel when you’re around, I can’t describe it baby

You got me on my knees and I’m crying out for love
Love’s labor found
Love’s labor found me and you rescued me from the darkness
Strange Occurrence – Love’s Labor Found

Tonight was Alexis’ last night here in Poland. In about 4 hours we will be on our way to the airport, I already know it will be very hard to keep the emotions away. Even as I write this my there is a lump at the back of my throat. I have with out any doubt in my mind we will have a lifetime together, God is the center of us, and that is why I have no doubt. The song to play as I type this is one of my favorite worship songs. My faith can only improve, and my life can only be better. Here are the words to “Blessed be the name” by Matt Redmond.

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I’m found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing you pour out
I’ll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun’s shining down on me
When the world’s ‘all as it should be’
Blessed be Your name

It is has been so busy here, guests in and out, tomorrow is Alexis’ last day here, we have a guest from Portland Oregon right now, last weekend it was Warsaw, this weekend its a foreign missionaries conference, the fun never ends. I am physically tired, but spiritually filling up, please pray for the next week or so, I will be meeting with some people here and it could be quite confrontational, however, I know if I am in tune with the Holy Spirit, what comes from my mouth will be edifying and not depressing.

If anyone is looking for a place to seek God in an intimate way, come to Poland when I leave. A part of me is already feeling guilty knowing I will be leaving, another part of me, knows it is the right thing to do, for now. Either way, I truly want to ask any reader out there to pray and see what God may be telling you, any help is welcomed, all the contact information is on the sidebar.

There was a time when I didn’t know who i was, except a boy just looking everywhere for acceptence. Then I found acceptence, and with the acceptence I found peace, and all though I may have to walk through hell and back, that peace helps me through it, it doesn’t prevent it, but it gets me through. – TJM

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I’m back from Warsaw, I have a lot of things to write about, it was a greatly needed breath of fresh air. Most of the Polish people I know do not like Warsaw, but I loved it. Have love, peace, and most of all joy.

This is what I see.

This is what I have faith in.

I ran across this in a commentary about the Passion of the Christ, it is taken out of context, but I agree with it, in and out of its context.

Emerging culture people are, no doubt, as sensitive as anyone else to dramatic, multisensory, rational-plus-emotional presentations. Special effects can impress them. But they’re also suspicious of the whole business. They’re looking for something that can’t be “produced” but which can only be created: Authenticity. Reality. Honesty. Fruit.

That last word, of course, has special resonances to the teachings of Jesus and the apostles. Think of the difference between produce (like fruit) and products (like films, radio broadcasts, boxed programs, etc.). Think of something that must be the organic outgrowth of genuine health and vitality versus something that can be produced with money and technical savvy.

Jesus didn’t say it was by our clever outlines, memorable mnemonics, snazzy programs, and special effects that we would be known as his disciples, or that he would be known as sent from God. Rather, he said, it was by our love that we and he would be known, and by our fruit: our good works that shine in darkness and inspire all to glorify God.

To reflect what is said above, that is my personal mission.

Since the New Year, I have felt like I have been on the brink of something, but what the “something” is, I do not know. I think I am beginning to realize I need to take initiative and do what my heart is telling me, but I need to organize and prioritize those things first. Therefore, this week that is my goal, to thoughtfully write all of these things down and prioritize them. I can already tell it will be an enormous burden off my chest and will release some of the stress I have been feeling, most of which simply comes from being lazy. I do not have an agenda to “seek and destroy” like some kind of corporate juggernaut, but I do have a heart which is on fire and is screaming to be heard.

I wonder, what my old high school friends would think of me now? I wonder if they would even recognize my personality, my character, anything. I am a completely different person than I was four years ago, most people do change a lot from high school, but many of their hearts do not change. Four years ago, I could have cared less about Poland, or really, about any other people in the world, sure I would not have admitted to this, then. However, after taking the step of faith to trust in the invisible, and back then, untouchable God, I realized what true fulfillment was; it was a trust that cannot and will not be broken, but I had to trust first. God changed my life, not any person, not any “good person”, just God. Sure, he used people to reach me, but ultimately it was I trusting him, and he changing me, my trust in him, created our relationship.

Therefore, now I take another step of trust. In the next few days I am going to open myself up even more, I am going to see how deep the rabbit hole really does go. I have cried many tears since coming to this land, I have had my heartache and cry for people here (which is the first time in my life I have truly cried over other people). Now, I take another adventure, one that is surely going to bring more tears, more heartache, and more opportunity for me to become the person that Christ has made me, the person I am only with Christ.

In the Bible, the number seven represents completeness. At about half pass midnight tonight, I kissed Alexis, a minute later I kissed her again. Today is March 7th, eight months and seven days after that sunny day in Seattle we finally kiss, in the entry hall of an apartment in Nowy Targ Poland, who would have thought?

“Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the swift gazelles and the deer of the wild, not to awaken love until the time is right. [Song 2:7]