Year: 2005

Wow, I just realized this blog is now three years old. I think it is time for a makeover, I’ll wait until next week to start that project, I’ve got too many other projects to pay much attention to my own personal ones right now… sad day. Love ya all.

I’m tired of being tired, but I seem to only be tired during the day, at night I can’t get to sleep. This makes for a very frustrating situation. I want to have passion, life, and to be doing things because my heart wants to, not just because I need to. Lately it has been so hard for me to get up, I’ve been getting up just 30 min before I have to be anywhere (which thankfully has been 10am most days), if I don’t have something until 12:30 than I don’t get up. It has been so bad. I don’t wan to be like that, I want to steward my time properly. I want to give time to God’s word, to prayer, and to fellowship. So, I want to be awake, I want to rise up.

In other news, this past weekend was the Jr. High beach retreat at my church, and it was a blast. At first I really wanted to just stay home and do nothing, which is basically all I’ve felt like recently (I sure hope I’m not getting depressed, I’m pretty sure it is just time for a break, thank God for the holidays). However, once I got there the whole thing was a blast, the kids were great and I saw them really wanting to experience God, big time. This quarter God challenged me to be a fill in, not to simply be in the ministry I wanted, but to go where I was needed and serve, this ended up being Jr. High – never my top choice. During this quarter I have learned that my calling to be a pastor is not just for a specific age group, it is for all, and however I can do that is what matters. Even though I feel like a failure in some pastoral areas, I know that this is my calling and that continuing in it is important and to not give up when I fail to “do” something. This opportunity to serve Jr. Highers has shown me the Father’s heart for people, no matter their place with Him, or anything else.

My verse at the moment: Ephesians 5:14 “And where your light shines, it will expose their evil deeds. This is why it is said, ‘Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light.'”

Alexis is updating her blog again, if you’re interested click here.

We had a very scary moment top off a rather great day. Today each of us interns were introduced to all the students from 6^th to 12^th grade, but we were introduced in style. Ill put up pictures as soon as I get some of them, it was a great time, Alexis and I each have different color hair now, its rather shocking for some. Anyway, we were all dressed up and lookin good. So after youth group we wanted to go out, we chose to go to Portland’s Le Bistro Montage. Now this place is a bit different, there is one painting, in particular, with a twisted version of the Last Supper. Other things make you think about the spiritual atmosphere of this place, and the area in general.

So, all 18 of us got there, sat down, and began eating some bread with butter and than my roommate, Ryan, began chocking on some of the bread. Not the kind of chocking like most of us have where we cough a bit, no, this was the full-on, he-cant-breath kind of chocking, where no sounds were coming from him. One of the interns, Robyn, immediately got in place to do the Heimlich procedure. However she just wasnt strong enough to get it going so a guy named Ty, who saw as back at the church, who randomly asked us where we were going and had decided to tag along, did it. The horrible moment lasted well over a minute. Ryan is fine now, shaken up, however giving the glory to God and doing a bit of reflecting.

We never know when things like this may happen, and we never know if God puts people around us for some reason. Ty and Ryan didnt really know each other, except for each others name. Just the random chance that Ty came was a miracle, plus Ty is an EMT. During that time I was shaking, but had a peace that Ryan and God were good, and that really things would be okay. However, I am still processing the whole thing;this was certainly a wake up call of some kind. Got us thinking and got us looking at God in a very real way. It has been a while since something so close to death has happened near me. Praise god.

I know a family who just this past week had their car stolen. It had in it, among other things, a laptop worth $2,000 and with two years worth of work on it, various CDs, DVDs from Block Buster and the public library, and a purse, with the owners Drivers License, Check book, Debit Cards, Credit Cards, also a baby stroller and other miscellaneous things. In addition, this was their only car, their only car with just liability insurance, meaning it isnt covered.

This family is a God-fearing, God-loving, God-understanding family, young, and just beginning to step into their calling as pastors. Some would ask, why would this happen? Others may say Well, they shouldve had full-coverage if it was their only car. I say, this is one of those opportunities in which the body of Christ consistently screws up, especially these days. What am I talking about? Im talking about the fact that people in the Church do not recognize these times as Acts 2:44-47 times.

These are the times when the church could step in, buy a new car, help replace what was stolen, donate whatever resources (maybe guide them in prevention of ID theft) they have, to help this family. This is what the Body of Christ should look like, its Biblical. It is not Biblical for us to pass judgment and say well you should’ve been safer with your things, you shouldnt live in a place known for cars to be stolen NO! We do what God leads us to do, not what human logic says is okay. We also make mistakes, we are human, that is why the body must work together – Ephesians 3 and 4 – I think are great ones on that.

That’s what I think.

I think I am finally going to get around to doing some cleaning up around here. Maybe put in some new pictures, change some colors, etc. Since we finally have Internet at our place I can get around to these things. Not to mention the million other things “I can finally” do now that I have better access to the Internet…

I just am not motivated when I’m sick, I really want to write out our vision for Poland and send it to some important people, but right now, I haven’t got the energy.

The Church needs to stand up. We need to be real, authentic, and alive in everything we do. We need not cover ourselves with some kind of Christian mask; we must, instead, renew our minds, and awaken our hearts to our Father. We must stand up, wake up, and realize that we are called. The Bible says that the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few, and I believe that is also says that many are called but few will go. What if the called went, and the workers worked, what then? Yes I’m on a high. But the Lord has made a difference in my life, let Him make a difference in your life, let Him be your Lord. Jesus is the Pilot, not the co-pilot. His ways are far beyond our understanding, yet when I follow them, even without understanding, the fruit in my life is amazing. Be passionate, be His disciple, and listen to the Father’s heart.

I don’t care what issues you have in your life, we will never be perfect, we will never be. I still struggle with sexual sins, I struggle with anger issues, I struggle with obsessive compulsive tendencies in many areas. But I know one thing, I am much closer to what God has called me, and the world doesn’t understand, but I know my soul is alive, and most of all my Spirit is leading because God’s spirit is in me, and as Christians we all have this wonderful advantage, let His spirit grow yours and be walking in the Spirit and not by the desires of the flesh.