Hearing God

In the past few weeks I’ve had a number of people ask me about hearing from God. Or, more specifically, hearing God’s voice.

Since it is nearly 1am, I’m not going to elborate to much on this, but I do have a few thoughts.

First I think many of us try far to hard. I actually think a lot of us have probably heard His voice clear and strong, but we either thought it was our own, or too afraid to obey it in faith.

For me, his voice is always the gut feeling, not the fleshly desire, but the inner thoughts that guide me in decisions, letting me know if something is right or wrong. I’ve learned to tune into this voice more and more over the years, and without doubt, I know it is His voice.

It has taken nearly a decade to come to this point, and I still fail miserably in actully giving time to listen to His voice. But growing up I always had an inner sense of right and wrong, and I believe it was the Holy Spirit, but since I didn’t have the relationship with Jesus as I do now I simply thought it was my “conscience”.

My creed: Worship

Worship for me is not just about music, not just about emotions, and not just about verbal praise. It’s all of those things but much more. Worship for me is putting myself in the throne room of God, being right in the heavenly realms. It’s serving him as if I’m in heaven. It’s praising him as if I am in heaven. It’s loving him and others, as if I am in heaven.

I can only imagine what heaven will be like, and it is what I imagine that brings me to raise my hands, sing at the top of my lungs, and allow the emotions to fill my heart. It’s what I imagine that pulls me to serve him in truth and spirit. Lastly, it’s what I imagine of heaven that bids me to be as humanly close to Jesus as I can be with people, myself, and him. That is my worship.

My creed: What is church to me?

Many people see church from a fairly subjective view, mixed in with bad history, culture, and a lot of bias. Even today’s emergent churches, or urban churches, tend to be jaded by the culture’s idea of “church”.

As I have mentioned before I am tired of the religious people of America trying to legalize morality, it simply can not be done. Instead of using our secular political system to do God’s work (which isn’t happening) why don’t we do what Jesus told us to do? Let’s go make disciples, disciplined ministers of God’s message of a loving truth.

Instead of constantly focusing our attention on what the “others”, the “non-believers”, the “non-Christians”, are not doing, doing wrong, or on what they are corrupting… why don’t we pray, and be God’s hands and feet? He sent us to do the job, he’s given us authority, he says we can do things bigger than Jesus did!

Instead what I see is large “evangelical” organizations seeking legal actions, posting propaganda, spending millions and millions of dollars on ad campaigns for their politicians…

Yes, I know there are good organizations out there, I just believe we focus far too much on the “other things” rather than on Jesus and individually listening to him and his will for our individual lives. Imagine if every Jesus believing person were to take the call seriously, if we were to see the vision he has for us (yes that one that is FAR beyond your capabilities and qualities), imagine what could be changed, imagine our friends and families being effected by God’s people touching the every-day lives of every-day people?

That’s what church is for me, it’s empowering God’s people to do his ministry. It’s fellowship with allowing faults and allowing correction all at once because graceful, loving, communication is spoken. It’s encouragement that flows out, even in correction. It’s worshiping him in Spirit (our deepest emotions being met with acceptance and love), and it’s worshipping in truth (our intellect being used for the advancement of His kingdom).

What is love?

“All you need is love”, “Love is just a game”

Well, lately God has been showing me a new side to Love. Now I bet most of you think this is about Emma… well in a way it is, but not really.

Yes Fatherhood has shown me a new side of love, and quite possibly this is where these ideas are stemming from. But as I was talking with Marcus at our devo this morning…

You see, lately as I drive around from client to client, the Lord has been showing me people’s faces, and giving me a glimpse of how he loves them. It’s like I feel in my heart the overwhelming grief, and/or pride he has for particular people. When I think of people I know who have made choices contrary to God’s values I get even more emotional and can’t do anything but pray for clarity in the person’s life.

And now there’s even more, you see, I believe true love, is a love that holds people to God’s values. A love that doesn’t just let our friends, our brothers/sisters slip away into “their own choices”, if the choice is made with loving confrontation and loving correction, and still does not honor God’s values, well then, the choice is theirs…

But way to often than not I see the opposite. I see people too afraid of rejection, too afraid of confrontation, to talk in love and grace to people about red-flags… those red-flags turn into spiritually killing decisions. If we are going to be known for the love we have for each other, we have got to allow God to work through each other, obey your convictions and your heart when God speak to it. Only blessing and honor and glory can be given to Jesus even if a person makes a decision to walk another path, at least they know the loving truth… and believe me it can be done, and God’s name is always given glory, I’ve been there, scared to death, but I’ve done it. I’ve had people still decide, but I’ve seen people make the right choice as well. The choice is yours.

Jaded and bitter

There is so much talk “out there” on topics such as the emergent church, homosexuality in the church, drinking in the church, how to do church in today’s culture, how not to do church in today’s culture, and with all of this comes a lot of bitterness, finger pointing, religion, and legalism. I am tired of it, I’m tired of going from one blog to blog, news story to news story, reading about the things people see wrong in the church. Very seldom do I read about the good that the church is doing.

It is easy to be jaded, but much harder to take the higher road and speak the truth of Jesus gracefully and unconditionally. It’s easy to see the things we disagree with, with the Christian community, our own church, and our fellow believers. It’s much more hard for us to challenge people when we see hypocrisy, well for some it’s easy, it’s hard to do it in grace and encouragement that Jesus would have (Now leave, and sin no more, the woman at the well).

I believe we are obligated, as disciples, to encourage, with grace, the truth. The key is with grace, we seem to have forgotten what it means to give grace to people. We can not assume people will simply change their behavior, it takes graceful correction, reminding, retraining.

The key is learning to send and receive correction, grace, and to listen to what God puts in our heart for that moment, not simply regurgitate something we have been told.

Update: Ben (in many more words) describes exactly what I’m trying to say, see here


There’s this man I know who has very strong convictions, not just “religious” ones, but ones that help people be better people. He normally thinks the best of people and most of the time he sees hope in their lives. As he encounters people he strives to bring them into deeper relationships, most of the time it’s relationships with people that go awry. Sometimes though people have either a philosophical problem, or a knowledge problem when it comes to them and God. It’s these questions that this man has a tough time with, and lately, it seems to be more difficult to address these.

You see, this man is no ordinary man, he’s a disciple, he knows the Lord Jesus, and he loves the Lord with his whole self. Yet, there is a deep dark corner of his life that breaks through all to often. He’s been incredibly open, spilling his entire life story to everyone he ever meets. He’s been honest with those he is closest with. Everyone who knows him usually describes him as a “man of faith” or “a Godly man” – yet he’s not so sure. He’s accepted God’s grace to fill these dark corners. One at a time the light has pierced the darkness and the good news has inhabited those places. But then the bugs come in, the house cleaners leave, and darkness begins to creep back in.

The man screams, he fights, he doesn’t understand why it seems impossible to keep these places in his life filled with God’s light. The voice of the world, the enemy, says life isn’t worth living if you can’t live up to Jesus’ standard. But the spirit makes it clear that live is still, and always, worth living.

This emotional roller coaster he feels is beginning to take its toll, anger, frustration is met with passionate repentance. Repentance is met with overwhelming temptation, temptation is met with the power of God. There is victory in his life, then there is defeat. Victory… defeat… victory… defeat. When does it end?

He screams to his Lord: Father! Father! Why do I feel forsaken? Where does my tempter go? Where is your strength? I “know” you, I live for you. I declare victory in your name, I speak in your authority NO MORE DEFEAT. I want your connection, I want your spirit to fill mine. Praise your name that you would use me, I am but a man, a broken vessel, simply willing to be used by you! Help me oh God, help me to know and understand within my soul the strength which is in my weakness. Change me oh God.

And with that the man sought after the glow, the dim subtle glow deep within his heart. The tiny burning flame that pierced the dark place. He fanned it, and added fuel to it. He sat by it, he listened, he wept, he felt the flames warmth. As if on a bitter cold winter night, in solitude with just his creator, the man stared into the flame and pondered these things.

This man, he is no normal man, this man is a child of God. Any child of God is not normal, he is uniquely crafted for a mission bigger them himself, and far “under qualified” in the the Accuser’s and world’s standards.

3 Min Poland Update!

I actually timed that it takes just under 3 min to read this, please do 🙂

Hello Everyone,

A quick update on our Poland & France mission trip this summer; we are experiencing God’s financial provision in his amazing ways, last month we raised another $1000 towards the trip, we now need just $2,860 (donation information below). We praise God for his work in all of this, and for the past two trips we have made with East Hill to the U-Turn summer camp to serve and disciple youth. Our excitement grows stronger with each trip, and our love for Poland, her people, and God’s heart for them, grows stronger and more compassionate with each step we take.

This is, to date, the most expensive trip we have made, and in light of this we have done some praying and thinking about future trips. We are currently in the process of applying to be mission team leaders sent out of East Hill. This means that we will be leading teams to Poland on our own, giving us much more flexibility and allowing us to dig in deeper with the relationships we are building. Please pray for us through this process, for discernment in choosing team members, and in casting our vision and passion for our future in Poland. The most exciting part is that we are tentatively building up for a much less expensive trip (currently looks like $1,200 per person, verses the $3,000 per person for this trip) in February/March of 2008. As we plan out the details of this trip we hope to communicate a more focused vision for all of you to tangibly partner in.

Blessings and thanks for your prayerful support,

If you would like to financially support us:
Just $30 from each recipient of this email would pave the way for both of us.

Look to the right for “Poland Mission Information” and click on the PayPal donation button. Sorry not tax-deductible.

For tax deductible donations:
Send a check made out to

Pillars of my faith

  • Jesus brings truth, and that truth sets me free
  • God the father is full of grace, that grace sets me free
  • The Holy Spirit guides me in authority and power, that authority and power sets me free
  • Who I am is not based on any one’s opinions, ideas, culture, etc – Who I am is what The Lord has made me
  • I am broken, but He is healing me, from glory to glory and one day I will see Him face to face in all of His glory and I’ll be in all of mine as well.
  • I worship the Lord my God will all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and His joy fills my heart
  • Sometimes there is not a “heeby jeeby” moment, sometimes there is, but at any time I hear his voice, feel his presence, or know that His Spirit has spoken, I obey, sometimes kicking and screaming, and at times ignoring, but when I obey I never regret and always am more amazed by his mercy and grace.

Prophetic words

I finally have typed up the prophetic words I have received over the past year. I have retro posted them to go where they should in my archives so that over time I can look and see what else God was doing, where he took me, and where he is taking me.

October of 2004 My first experience with healthy prophecy during my 1st year intern retreat. Basically God was calling me into the desert.

January of 2005 My second experience, Alexis and I were broken up, a time of hell in the desert.

September of 2005 The third experience, amazing, God shows His face through the whole thing and previous prophecy is shown to have come to past. Alexis and I received this one together. The promise land is nearing, but there is still work to be done.

Intern retreat round 2

[This is a retro-published post, actually posted on Nov 12, 2005 – I wanted these words to be posted into my archives on the right day to line up with my life at that time]
Again we went to the amazing Oregon coast for our intern retreat this year. This time instead of each Intern prophesying over each other a lady named Barb Jackson came, taught, and randomly prophesied. It was amazing, and what God said through her to Alexis and I (we received the word together) is nothing short of amazing – we were crying like babies at the end, because God totally rocked our world. The rest is history:

When we go as full-time over there. That will happen. We are in training, and it’s been rough, the finances haven’t been right, but they will come, we will go, but not before we are sent -don’t go before sent… If we go before we are sent we will come back, bruised as in ACTS 19. The enemy will try to make us think we can’t wait (within 6 months), don’t listen to that voice, remember this WORD. Be faithful in all the training, in the right time, humble ourselves under his hand, and he will exalt us… God will Send us out with ordination and with supporters, commissioning, start with house church, evangelize the area, a few contacts will give us the hands and lift up the resources. God says we will be known in that place as the people with the word of the LORD. It’s not going to be a “regular house church” People will know they can get their needs met, physically, spiritually, word of prophecy over the people, healing, words of knowledge and wisdom, food, the vision will be. Churches will grow fast, split so fast, we will need to split into two… won’t get a building big enough…. Just a handful in each. Churches where his voice will be heard. We will know the time for marriage…. There will be a right time for marriage, God will unite us. Don’t jump ahead. TWO will put ten thousand… God has given us the green light the word for our lives, the time, and method are still yellow lights… caution don’t run ahead. wait until the light is green. Those who are over us in the spirit will tell us the green light at the same time we sense it in our hearts. Be cautious The enemy will try to stop us in our tracks. Just like the enemy tried to tell with Peter told Jesus not to go to Calvary… but the timing was right, the timing will come. We will have that green light. God says there will be nothing at that time he will withhold. John 14:12-13 – Us who believe on him… God will be accelerating our training, we will be stretched, and feel like we don’t have enough time… Burn the oil at midnight if we must. For a time and a season we need to push in… be obedient, obey, obey, obey 3x. God will take us both down to the third obedience, where we will sow our lives for those people. Sow our lives for those people, we will love them to the end. They will know the love… that love will require our lives. That love will go through our whole lives. Our message will be the love of the father’s heart. As we go forward in obedience to him… we will fulfill the father’s heart. He will say “well done, good and faithful servant”.