Tag: Jesus

Political labels don’t fit me.

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So some things I’ve been thinking about. Warning none of the following will have a “why” so hold your comments until I flesh out the points over the weeks to come.

Thanks!

Because of my Bible believing beliefs I have come to the following (maybe surprising) convictions about the following political and societal issues of our day.

Fair and ethical trade – I really can’t justify paying less for something knowing that the work conditions for cheap products are many times near slave standards, the basis of brutal dictatorships, or turn a blind eye towards basic needs. This is a very complicated matter, and it can change. Buying products from verified and/or certified sources is important to making change happen and education.

When possible, I prefer to buy local, this helps in so many ways, local economy, unfair/unethical trade issues, and as a bonus you get to know and support your community (Biblical? I think so).

Sustainability: this one I find very misunderstood in and out of the Church. I think from a Biblical viewpoint the Church should be at the forefront of the sustainability movement (although it shouldn’t be the forefront of the Church’s mission, that’s already clear). Things like Advent Conspiracy can be great tools for making sustainable communities (think hand wells in Africa).

Lastly public services (education, safety, transportation, and healthcare) should be priorities before other items. Each of those items I just listed, when well thought out and protected like our society depends on them, brings everyone’s living standards up, not in an attempt to “equalize” everyone, but rather by proving the “societal infrastructure”.

Like I said this is far from fleshed out, blogging from my phone doesn’t provide me access to the resources to unfold everything as I would like. But what I do want to say is that Jesus does promote many things. However, hear me loud and clear the number one mission for Christ’s followers is still the expansion of the church. I just think that through these venues we can expand the Kingdom and touch our world for Jesus at the same time!

Time does not stop

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"Urban living" in Gresham

Well, this past year has been one of the most interesting for me and my family. Lots of bumps, lots of fun times, and lots of “what on earth are we doing!” moments. It seems, as though out of our control, time has decided to continue on. So many times in this last year it seemed like time was going by far to slow, it seemed we were waiting for something, but wasn’t quite sure. Now, time seems to be flying by, not because we’re having fun (we are far from having any kind of fun), but because all of sudden, we are at a place that we could’ve never imagined. It’s as if we woke up and our plane was hi-jacked, and no one announced what our new destination was.

For the most part we have been content not knowing the destination, after all, God likes to give assignments and adventures to his children. We are in no doubt that Poland is our ultimate, physical location and calling. However, God is definitely teaching us through the process, and while we walk through this desert experience, following God around, we will try to not complain about the mana. We have a lot to learn and know it will take time, time which is not stopping. So because time doesn’t want to stop for us, and we obviously can’t ignore that it moves on, we are focusing our energy.

God’s provision, protection, and love have been (as expected, yet hard to understand at times) overwhelmingly evident. We are surrounded by amazing friends, and we know the next year will be full of love, hope, and renewal. While time moves on, we will move with it, and we will move with God in his timing. God’s grace and truth is most important and this next year is to focus on those things, applying them in ways we know will be new and renewing.

The hedge

DSC_0679.JPGSometimes I don’t understand it.

Other times I’m so grateful.

Many times I just don’t see it.

The hedge.

—

In good times and bad times.

In happy times and sad times.

Times of horror and times of joy.

The hedge is there.

—

Because He loves me.

Because He seeks me.

He protects me.

The hedge he provides me.

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In the hedge is frustration.

In the hedge is fruition.

Beside the hedge is safety.

The hedge is Him.

—

The hedge – can you see it?

How I see it

When I look at people, life, the Church,

Through the eyes of how I know & understand Christ, God, the Holy Spirit

Then I see beauty & life

I see things differently

I ‘spose because I’ve seen a lot of terrible things

Many of these things I would rather never see again

In fact I contend with God to only see these things because of Him

Because of these things people are different to me

People, all people, even you, and even the guy trashed from the party

And even, the guy who reeks of alcohol and body odor in the “free rail zone”

They all have a warm spot in my heart, even the people who have caused the deepest hurt

This is all true, not because it’s some warm fuzzy ideal

But because it’s exactly what my God has given me, time and time again

This grace, so amazing, so unchanging, so undeserved, this is what floods my soul

When my soul is flooded, and my heart is filled, I can only be drawn to the souls of all.

He is my king.

Lying to yourself

I have a lot of principles, values, and priorities that I like to tell myself I live by.  Things like honesty, loving others, being a good listener, integrity, authenticity, etc.  Many of which are of course motivated by my relationship with God.  However, I can say and proclaim as many of these things as I want until I’m blue in the face… none of it matters.  None of it matters unless I’m actually doing these things, being true to them.. Now this sounds pretty harsh, even borderline religious or legalistic.

I don’t like lying to myself, I don’t like saying I am one thing, when really I am not.  I’ll go as far as to say, if you call yourself a Christian, if you have a relationship with Jesus, and you’re not living out your values… then you’re probably experiencing some fairly stressful feelings and situations.  I say this because every time I do something against what I value, I feel it, I feel the stress of being at odds with myself (normally by being grumpy, rude, mean to my wife).  So, this is why I actually schedule my values into my calendar, so that I can live out my priorities, and nurture my values.  In this structure I experience life, fellowship, friendship, love, knowledge, family, and all within balance.  It’s freedom, even though at first it’s discipline, but discipline leads to freedom, trust me, I’ve lived it.  Don’t lie to yourself.

A swarm of thoughts

So much of the time I shy away from writing something on here because I begin to think for people, and most of the time I think they’ll think I’m being too negative, or I think they’ll read it as “complaining”, I just want to let you know (even if you never thought those things) that my heart has never been in those places, although my mood certainly has.  I’m in a place in my life where I’m feeling good and content with where God has me, and at the same time, I’m discontent with where I spend most of my days, stuck up in an office.

The funny thing is, I really like my job, but when I start to think about the time it requires I am not too happy with it, as I would much rather be free to meet with friends, have coffee (or beer), love on people, spend time with my bride and daughter, etc.  However, I still really like the job, and I love working with the people God has placed around me.  It’s kind of a weird paradox, a love/hate kind of issue.  So, overall I am content, but there is definitely something inside me that wants more, and I’m trying very hard to hear what God has to say about that.

I know it is through discipline in Christ that I’ll find fulfillment.  Today I was reading Proverbs 12, and the first verse captured me – “To learn, you must love discipline; it is stupid to hate correction” – I’ve always been one to accept correction, to seek his discipline….  that is at least what people could see.  Now that God has been showing me (through marriage) how much more I need to seek his discipline, I have found myself unusually closed up, unwanting to change.

Thankfully, I think God is turning a key, opening a door, and doing new and greater things in me.  I think I’ve began to let him.  It’s hard, it burns, but it feels right.  As seek his healing in these areas I know his promises will become true, and I’ll be more free.

My “sex talk” meets Jesus

By the way I’m still following Josh’s series – awesome stuff still going on over there…  Visit the latest entry.

After endearing years of sexual confusion, and misidentification, God would use one of the few heterosexual attractions in my life to lead me to Him.  This young lady that I had a crush on, had an encounter with God in 1998, and all throughout my Junior year in high school I would be invited to Church – never taking the invitation seriously.  However, in spring of 1999 I decided to attend a service, only to find out that she had a boyfriend…  

The message that day was about grace – and that we were free to receive it at anytime… it hit a spot inside me, I wasn’t sure why, but it did.  I imagine that the years of confusion, the struggles with my sexuality, and the deepest parts of me wanted to be free of the things that I knew deep down were not right.  Later that year, in the summer, I would be caught up in God’s full grace and have a heart knowledge awareness of it – during the song “Step by step” I could not stop myself from agreeing with the lyrics – I decided that day to let him lead my way – although I had no idea what that would mean.

Did I stop feeling homosexual desires?  – No.  Did I stop masturbating? – No.  Did I understand His grace – No… do I understand it today? – Nope.

What I experienced that day though was the mystery of God – that his grace is unending, that even when I make the conscience decision to disobey, to walkout a fantasy, His grace takes me to a new level of love that only God himself provides.  In these past ten years, I have received grace beyond any understanding.  Each time I fall, I fall harder into His love, and deeper into Him.

My sexuality is deeply connected to who God is to me, it is the core of where he dwells for me, and it is out of this wound, this past, which much of who I am today comes from.  He has redeemed it, to be the instrument in which He uses me to speak from, to live from, and yet it is still the thorn in my side.  The marriage bed has been incredibly healing and incredibly frustrating – that’s my next installment.

The power of family

The Church can be a very powerful thing, when in balance with God’s heart, word, and spirit amazing things happen; things that can bring the hardest person to a place of falling in love with Christ.  This past week I have seen the power of God’s family coming to life, in spite of what could be explosive, hurtful, and misunderstood.  Although there are some very hard realities to deal with, God is showing each of us that His good will is here to bring us a full life.

When we take steps to be Disciples of Christ first, in all ways, even when dealing with hardships in the Church, we begin to see the big picture, the miracles, and truly experience the Church for what Christ intended – A healing family, a loving family, and a living family.

The Pastor Factor

James 3:1-2
Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly. Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.

How many of us have been wounded by a pastor? How many of us have witnessed a pastor fail? There is a lot to say about the calling of pastorship. Yet because of our human tendency for shaming and measuring people by their behavior (which is simply being religious instead of relational) rather than their character we become easily jaded and cynical towards leaders in the church. It is true that pastors/teachers in the Church “should” live above reproach, yet, no where do we see that there are two levels of Christians, the ministers verses the followers… we are all on the same playing field and we need to be aware of people’s internal character, firstly with our own.

Then the world will know us for our love, loving a person in spite of their behavior is what our Christ did for us.




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