Yeah it’s about time I’ve had some “myoptic” time… some time to focus on myself around here, yet let the world in on one person’s inner thoughts, thoughts that most people fear to share, and that I have been fearing to share as well.
It’s the fear that people who read this may not see the full picture of what I write, they may not know that I am actully quite a graceful and balanced person, but that in the short little paragraphs of my rants I sometimes sound much harsher than I really would be in a true-life situation. The other part of me is afraid of writing about some of the deeper darker things in my life, the thigns I’ve written about “long ago” that still very much affect me today. Fear that if I am still writing about them I’ll be judged or treated differently since I’m still “struggling” all of which I know isn’t really true. The fact is that I expierence God more intamatly when I am public about my struggles, yet the enemy has me paralyzed that I’ll be either dismissed, judged, and unsupported.
But I know for a fact that if I want to expierence God’s power I must confess it before humankind and God.
So now it sounds like I’m leading up to some big confession, I’m not, I’m only confessing that I’m still broken, still need healing, and that I want to have the ability to state that here, so in some reguard this is a confession of my fears, so that it may make the way for greater and more “myoptic” but healthy writing.
Thank you LORD.