The big awkward silence….

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I’m not a fan of the awkward silence, at least not among “structured” time, meetings, conference calls, coffee to have a “discussion”, etc. Also when I’m the one “hosting” a get together I’m even more annoyed by awkward silences, my wife on the other hand has no problem with them (weirdo!). For me, it’s a lack of relationship that causes these in social gatherings, because among good friends, a “silent pause” is rare, but when it happens among friends it’s OK, because normally it isn’t awkward, rather it is a thoughtful silence.

I remember a time about 10 years ago where I invited a whole bunch of friends over to my apartment, but didn’t really have a plan, we just wanted to hang out… but once we got there we had nothing to do, and didn’t even have much of a conversation, except “now what?” – boy did I hate that. We went from one awkward silence to another, until finally we all left to do something – wow… what a host I was back then.

I’m more comfortable these days, and don’t always have to “do something” – and usually I can start a conversation rather easily, even with people I don’t know all that well. Still though, I find myself, even in business situations where I think to myself “I wish I would’ve said this, or that” – but I don’t have that “oh my God I was so awkward” feeling about it anymore.

Thanks for reading a random thought about life, until next time. Happy Friday!

Marriage, what does it mean?

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So what is “marriage”? Actually the question I really am asking, is “is marriage something for the Church AND the rest of the world, OR is it something for just the Church?”  Basically my point (if you don’t want to read further) is that for people who are “outside” the Church (belonging to Jesus the Christ as their Lord) can not possibly be held to our values, we should treat them with the same basic values that any human deserves, love, respect, and equality among all. I know, this sounds almost heretical, but seriously, can we really even expect someone who does not call Jesus their Lord to understand the blessing? NO, of course not. Therefore instead of fighting over values which are almost impossible to understand, none the less live, when not belonging to Christ, we need to focus on evangelism, discipleship, and worship of our Lord – and then we’ll see people’s values dramatically change.  Now read the rest if you wish…

With the same-sex marriage issue hot underway, I have a harder and harder time with our institutionalized version of marriage. We’ve taken (one of many things) a biblical principal and turned it into a law for the land.  While this is most likely the most ancient of traditions, and therefore seeped in emotions and dogma, is it really necessary for the government to be involved?  Why must marriage be law?

To take this thought further, I wonder how much stronger the Church would be if marriage had remained only within the Church and the government simply provided the benefits of “marriage” (tax breaks) to registered households, since essentially this is what the marriage “benefit” essentially is (I’m in no way a tax expert, however). Forget legalized unions, marriages, etc… leave those titles up to us to decide.  Let us be married before our God.

There’s a lot of issues which could arise from this, one being the idea that “marriage” is only for Christians… and that’s not what this blog entry is about, and not sure how we would walk that out, I fear it would simply become another thing for Christians to demand that “marriage” be trademarked or some crazy idea like that.

All of this to say, if people who do not have Jesus as their Lord, want to be together and have a ceremony of some type, leave it to them to do, and leave both the state and Church out of it.  As Christians we ought not busy ourselves with “fighting” the culture, for our fight is not against flesh and blood, it’s spiritual – so let’s focus on winning souls and living as Jesus, who did not come to judge (as we do many times) but rather came to convict (point out, guide away, lead towards the light) us of sin.

In this way the Christian marriage would be unique, mean something more, and most of all, a truly different covenant defined by biblical standards, not governmental, cultural, or traditional definitions.  I understand this doesn’t “solve” all the “problems”, but it’s at least a direction which firstly allows “us” (Christians) to walk the high road in humility, Secondly, it’s a graceful step out of the argument and allow the Christian marriage to be what we believe it to be – a covenant between a man and a woman to love, cherish, and support one another for our rest of our lives; all other unions can remain whatever they want to define them as, and we can befriend, and show that love is stronger than human will.  God is much bigger than definitions of marriage, his love lives loud when we focus on walking with him instead of “proving” and “legalizing” “his” ways to the rest of the world.

As I’ve grown closer in my walk, I’ve come to realize “our” (I can hardly say I’m a part of “them” but can’t exactly divorce myself, since the body of Christ is ONE) methods need to change, and we have all heard it, if there is not love then there is no reason to claim Jesus as lord.  This means we live by the spirit, in love towards everyone, and turn the other cheek when others mock or take offense, but we don’t bite back, and we don’t argue back – we walk the high road, and allow people to make their choices, we can’t make it for them (forcing “our” laws and viewpoints) – we can pray, we can talk, and for those that want to hear and see we can be a witness to Christ’s glory.

The path of least resistence

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Something I observe multiple times throughout my week is that people fall into two camps, either they are “go getters” or “resisters” and in most cases, people attempt to take the “path of least resistance”.  In nearly every job or role I’ve been placed in I’ve seen this phenomenon, and I’m guilty of it as well… “what’s the easiest,  fastest, and most ‘avoidant’ way of getting X done?” and man it irks me.  It seems to be an especially strong disease throughout my generation.

This is even stronger when it comes to relational dynamics, I see it so many times, people going to all kinds of lengths to avoid a possible “conflict” or “situation” – in my mind though, this kind of avoidance makes waters down our relationships, and actually breaks down the desire for strong friendships and family that we actually want.  It certainly takes guts to overcome our cultural boundaries, and most of the time takes courage since most of us have not been shown how to healthily confront awkward (or simply saying no) situations.

A lot of the time when I’m faced with the decision to resist or “go get it” I have to ask myself, what is the pro-relationship path I could take? What will build up the relationship? What decision might tear it down, or leave it flat? As a person who looks to Jesus for direction, I usually can’t choose to skim past a relation-building choice… (of course if it’s unhealthy and not safe, then that’s another ball-game which actually might be just as challenging to make the choice to step away from a relationship). Often times I find myself wanting to avoid talking to someone because it’s harder than just making my own choice to “skim on by with what’s acceptable” – however, I’m not so sure this is how Jesus goes about ministering to us, and I want to reflect this. I want to go above just the “satisfactory” and I want to be a servant, even when it’s not exactly pleasant for me.

Not being cool

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Well, hello, knock, knock… anybody there?

Yeah, it’s been since October since I posted anything of any substance… except for automatic “weekly summaries” of my twitter feed…  Trust me this is not a ghost, it’s really me.  Recently I’ve been doing a lot of reading, researching, and in return being stuck. I just don’t want to be “cool” and fall into the same noise.  I want my words to mean something (even if only to myself), and at the same time I don’t want to write just to “be something”. This whole paradoxical position I’ve placed myself into is rather… sticky and narcissistic… So, I’ll just start writing, and see what happens, because it doesn’t matter, if it’s “not being cool” then it’s not about anything, right?

My motivation for writing anything always needs to line up with my desire to encourage, engage, and have people think about their lives, see Christianity in a different way, and most of all at least ask questions about walking with God.  Although I meander down different idealistic topics, transportation, land use, education, health-care, and other topics which are typically not highlighted in Christian circles, my most basic idea is to engage the Church culture in thinking about our communities, otherwise, I believe, we can easily become irrelevant to the people around us.

Granted I live in a mostly white, suburban, evangelical, bubble, I keep trying to push the envelope and be some kind of social-church-community-livability-avangelist to the suburban-white-evangelical church-going circle I find myself in.  If God wasn’t so clear in having Alexis and I be where we are, trust us, we would be in an urban, multi-cultural, and very different circle.  In some ways, this blog entry feels like a “coming out” post… which has some fears attached, but since I know this is a two way discussion, and not the “end all” judge me post, I’m ok with it.  I try to not jump to conclusions, nor try to judge people based on one facebook/twitter status update, blog entry, or quote… so I ask the same of my readers…

Congrats, if you read this far… then, well, maybe we have a chance at understanding more about the world we live in, and “not be cool”, together!

Tweets for the past week

  • I swear I was at Lloyd Center… not 60th… who just teleported my MAX back? #TriMet #
  • In all that you do seek the highest road, the wisdom (not the praise) of those ahead of you, and seek to understand & love more people. #
  • Ominous clouds approaching PDX – http://t.co/PrKhnvlj #
  • The world is not black and white, so let's stop trying to paint it that way & discover the colors of life which have existed since creation. #

Tweets for the past week

  • My image isn't anything close to how "perfect" it appears, things are not as they appear. There's always more to the story, myself included. #
  • So, when your Android's live wallpaper is connected to your Google photos account, you get pics of friends! Rando… – http://t.co/27mBfovw #
  • @carlybish Looks rather sketch… I would do some investigating and see if Google Shopping has any reviews for that site… :/ #
  • @carlybish I'll find it for you and link it 🙂 #
  • @carlybish meh… these people don't exist on the internet… no mention of them anywhere except this forum: http://t.co/XmwgJXn9 #
  • @thisisjason I don't think the 6:00 train (for me at Civic) ever showed up, and in this wind brrrr. In fact you might be on the same train.. #
  • @PDXtrimetrider lol yes, after about 30th it isn't what I call exciting. #
  • Today's rides: @TriMet Blue Xfer Red @United PDX>>ORD Xfer ORD>>YYZ #
  • @united have no problem flying you guys, always taking care of loyal customers… but please add WiFi on more routes! Thanks! #
  • Toronto! – http://t.co/svYRqFbR #
  • Don Don Izakaya – http://t.co/tEfVZ02z #
  • Oh Canada! – http://t.co/ak0C7NwC #
  • Interesting: LIVE: Boeing 787 Dreamliner is Making an EPIC Flight Path Design http://t.co/f4ErF8Mh #
  • Emma's first lincoln log creation, maybe one day she'll have a collection like I had.: ) – http://t.co/mXIss4ww #
  • Emma and her first Lincoln Log house. 🙂 – http://t.co/JPcEjjcy #

Tweets for the past week

  • Snuggling at Café D – http://t.co/R727RddE #
  • PDX Today 🙂 – http://t.co/aCEwOQgg #
  • What will I do in this last month as a 20 something?? #
  • There is so much to share in this world, it might sound cliche, but seriously sharing your smile with people is contagious! #Relate amp;Change #
  • Oh boy, poor insane guy loudly playing offensive music and yelling, cursing at everyone at 6:30am #Really #

Tweets for the past week

  • Well this is a new one… MAX operator announces he needs to leave the cab for a min to take care of some "business" at Gateway. #
  • Well my cold is mostly gone, but now I have a nasty metallic/bitter taste… makes everything taste gross except water. 🙁 #
  • Culture ride: On this rare occasion where my headphone batteries are dead, the lady sitting next to me on #MAX is on her phone, in Spanish. #
  • What's the point of thinking & talking negative? Being positive, optimistic, & encouraging has changed my life – in spite of "reality". #
  • So happy to take @ledub13 suggestion and use @zoomcare! Same day appointment to find out why I still have this cough and phlegm! #
  • @jonusjensen I didn't get no shout out for following you! #justsayin #
  • @jonusjensen touche #
  • My entire family, including me, are still in bed, I'm the only one awake, Emma climbed into our bed & fell back to sleep! #loveSundays #wow #

Tweets for the past week

  • Weather forecast… tomorrow we leave 🙁 – http://t.co/ezTXAI5B #
  • Well… snow..We're going to a resort pool heated by natural hot springs in an hour 🙂 – http://t.co/7kx1Z2er #
  • Well… snow..We're going to a resort pool heated by natural hot springs in an hour 🙂 – http://t.co/4IgvaCXa #
  • Landing in Vancouver, BC – http://t.co/EfeMZR4R #
  • Saying bye to Aris and Christina in Frankfurt. – http://t.co/Bmprh6Qb #
  • Stranded in Vancouver until 6:40, was suppose to be in SEA at 4… customs process snafu. – http://t.co/XLzvIl0e #
  • Finally aboard our last flight! YVR >> SEA here we come! #
  • Hello America, hello Seattle, hello Snow and GOODNIGHT world. Glad to be safe and warm at Alexis' mom's house. #
  • For our friends in Nowy Targ this is how Seattle greeted us! 🙂 – http://t.co/RTIgwl1c #
  • almost home – http://t.co/AScei1Iy #
  • @TriMet TVM #101 is not working, blank white screen. #
  • Well first day back at the office was decent, although I was a bit tired. The #pdxsnow coverage is so sensational, #sea has a real storm. #
  • Well the snow was great looking last night, now it's a disgusting slushy mess.. wish more people actually had and used snow shovels. #pdxtst #
  • Tell Congress: Don’t censor the web! http://t.co/eDQS9Bns #
  • @carlybish get some Zinc lozenges and you'll kick any kind of cold too. #
  • @TriMet I know it's been crazy, but TVM #101 is still broken. – http://t.co/qCfaNL5f #
  • Nothing like a little coffee to settle down, from a mug with a story bigger than me! – http://t.co/VMfoblgC #
  • @komonews remind pople they can re-book weather related canceled flights (most airlines) online, Sea-Tac has free WiFi, use it! #nowait #
  • Just imagining what the world might look like if everyone who could, was fully active in at least one cause. #Encourage #LoveFirst #Serve #

Tweets for the past week