For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. If you serve Christ with this attitude, you will please God. And other people will approve of you, too. So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up. [Romans 14:17-19]
Seeing as how things have been outright depressing around here, I think an attitude change is in need
Tomorrow will be the end of my third month here in Zakopane; one third of my year here is over. To tell you the truth, I am not quite sure what I have accomplished, I know things have moved forward, but I do not really have a sense of anything being “done”. Sure, we have started a few things, and those things are going great, but seeing fruit is another story. I know it will take time and I need to be patient but if I am not seeing any fruit than are we doing things right?
Lately I have been getting more and more ideas for ministry, but not for here, for Seattle. I think I may be attached to Seattle a little bit more than I am willing to admit, I already had one little session with God where I gave up my heart for Seattle, but apparently I need to do more. “That won’t work here”, is what I am told about many of the ideas I come up with , It is very frustrating for me and quite discouraging and it is beginning to take its toll on me. I almost just want to say, “Why don’t I just try it and see for myself” I know they may have experience but let me try maybe it will be different.
My energy level has been zero the past couple of weeks. I have been regularly sleeping in past noon, I am sure staying up until three or four in the morning does not help, but the energy level is still low even when I am awake. I have many goals I have set for myself, but “they can wait” is all I tell my self. In the mornings when my alarm does go off (at 9:00am) my brain is not working and I just turn it off, then sleep another four or five hours.
Thanks for reading all this craziness; I guess I have some expectations, which are not being met, so my motivation level is down. It also does not help that my friendship/fellowship network is nothing compared to what I had in Seattle. I have a great group of friends who I can bounce ideas off, get suggestions, etc; here I have none of that. Carol and Denise are awesome but quite busy, Chris is great too, but he works so much I hardly see him. I am so use to having a regular schedule too, that now that I do not have one I am not sure what to do with myself. I have been slowly (but rather unsuccessfully) going out to drink or have coffee with the other young adults, but so far two out of three have canceled.
I am trying to see what God has in all of this, I know I need to be looking towards him and not towards this “network of friends” I had back home. I know I am here not only to serve, but also to grow.
Keep on asking, and you will be given what you ask for. Keep on looking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And the door is opened to everyone who knocks. [Matthew 7:7-8]
Lord, Jesus
I ask for you to show me how to reach the young adults of Zakopane. I ask for words which will stick with them and guide them to you. I ask for the trust to be built to create meaningful relationships with them. Lord, I ask for you to change me to be someone who is part of them, and not “just an American”. Lord I will not give up, but I also am asking for a motivation booster. Amen.
I want this album for Christmas! This song is absolutely amazing!
“And with this Christmas wish is missed
The point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to let You know how much You
Doesn’t that sum up the condition of some people’s hearts? I think it goes much further than cursing; it includes lustful words, comments about others, and desires of the person. Scott inspired me, because he is “speaking” about the issue of lust in his life, this is not only an encouragement but also an inspiration. I do not see many Christian guys, especially young men who are open about lust, looking for a mate, and other life issues and questions. In the past I felt like I was the only one and at one point I thought I was crazy for even speaking of such things, because some of my friends just did not want to talk about it. I truly believe the more we talk about things in our lives, the more we ask questions, the closer and closer we can get to God.
The Christian guys I see who are saying things like “isn’t she hot” and “I could go for a piece of her” really sadden me, because even though they say they are “just joking” it tells me something about the condition of their heart. I know most of them won’t act on it in that manner (although some will), and I know they are generally good people, but we are all sinners, and our body’s want things which are not good for our sprit’s.
A good person produces good deeds from a good heart, and an evil person produces evil deeds from an evil heart. Whatever is in your heart determines what you say. [Luke 6:45]
As a Christian I will be open to criticism, I will encourage people, and I will admit my faults. I believe these things help us grow and climb life with Jesus. If we refuse to listen, especially if two or more people suggest the same thing, we are being fools. I have learned that even if I disagree with something two or more people suggest, it never hurts to try, and usually it is a huge blessing, even if there is hurt and pain in the process.
How many of us actually share the Gospel? I mean, really I do not think I have ever had anyone tell me the story of the Gospel? Yes, I have read it now but I have never told anyone. I am not suggesting we go around and stand on platforms yelling the Gospel at people, but I am suggesting maybe if people are truly interested and want to know about Jesus’ ministry, we actually sit down and go over it with them. We do not have to preach it, we do not have to force it down them, Jesus himself said he” came for those who knew they were sick, not for those who thought they already knew it all” [Matthew 9:13b]. I completely believe in living the Gospel out with our lives but I also believe there is a time to tell the Gospel too.
It took me three years to realize what the Gospel was really about, and now to this day, Matthew is my favorite book of the Bible, if I had known sooner, how different my life might have been! I think many people are simply too afraid to get out their Bible and tell someone; I know I am! I think the reason Jesus said he was “not here for those who thought they already knew it all” was that he knew those people would not listen, but the others would. I know when I was doing Campus Crusade ministry there were people who would never want me to talk to them directly from the Bible, and for those people I simply worked on a relationship; however their were others who I knew wanted to know more, and for them the Bible was a real life changing book.
I am realizing that for some strange reason I have not even given my friends here in Poland the opportunity to talk about the Bible. Of course, I have read out of it, but I have been too afraid to sit down and answer questions and read the wonderful life changing texts. I think a few of them would be more than open to really open it and talk about it, but first I want them to know the Gospel of just who is Jesus, and his Character. I do not mean going from the beginning of Matthew to the end of John, but I do mean starting with the birth and ending with the resurrection, and definitely including his ministry, it includes so much about life, every time I read it I get more out of it.
God is able to make you strong, just as the Good News says. It is the message about Jesus Christ and his plan for you Gentiles, a plan kept secret from the beginning of time. But now as the prophets foretold and as the eternal God has commanded, this message is made known to all Gentiles everywhere, so that they might believe and obey Christ. [Romans 16:24-25]
I volunteered to do something I normally would not do because I just hate doing it, but I figured it couldn’t be that bad, it was. What was it? Another missionary here in Poland was visiting us the past few days, and she asked if I could upgrade her older laptop from Window95 to Windows98 SE; I absolutely hate those operating systems they simply suck. Nevertheless, I did it anyway it is what I use to do for a living anyway (not upgrading laptops, but computer and network work). Well during the first phase of the upgrade, the laptop froze, and then windows would not start, so I was in serious trouble at about 3am. Then I figured out a way to create a DOS bootable CD-Rom, which saved my night, and at about 6am the upgrade was finished, although I am still not sure everything works, but I was dead tired. I still am, I had to getup at 11am, then I fell back to sleep just after noon, and woke up again at 4pm. I still need to teach English at the private school tonight, I am not looking forward to that. I have decided in order to keep my self sane, and not deprive myself of sleep I will not be doing computer work unless it is on a computer less than a Pentium 4, and using Windows 2000 or higher, unless it is for someone I know like a church member.
Lesson Learned:
The greatest among you must be a servant. But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted. [Matthew 23:11-12]
I am not having an identity crisis, but I would like to become a little bit different in the end of this year. I know being here, I cannot avoid changing a little bit, but I would like to set some characteristic goals. For instance, I would like to have the courage to speak about my relationship with Jesus a little more freely without worrying about what someone might think. I am not talking about throwing it in someone
It
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