Denise: So, Chris, what do you think about being pastor of the dream place sometime in the future?
Chris: Well, I don’t really see it on the horizon at all.
Me (not even a half second later): That’s because it’s on the other side of the world.
Where on Earth did that come from? I am amazed at what comes out of my mouth sometimes. Oh, that’s right, I am a child of the amazing King of the universe, it didn’t come from Earth, it came from that Kingdom.
Thank God, he is so amazing and awesome; nothing right now would be possible with out him. I have had so many things in the last 48 hours go wrong, I do not see how people could claim God does not exist. Yes, I know that sounds backwards, but all of these things to go wrong are human wrongs, where it is clear someone along the way made a mistake (including myself), and the consequences are all coming out this weekend. It is okay though, I know God has the means planned, and I take refuge in that.
Right now as I type this, I bet Alexis is having lunch with Carol, I wonder how things are going. Unfortunately Carol won’t be barrowing my car because the Car Tabs I ordered through Washington State’s website, either did not reach my old apartment, or my old roommates have misplaced them, either way it bums me out. However, I know Carol will understand, I just want to know where they are, because I am sure it won’t be that easy to get replacements. I pray that Alexis is not overwhelmed as she was last night when I talked to her, both of us were very overwhelmed with everything. We said some things to each other which did not help anything (I was trying to “fix” the problem, and she was trying to “make” me listen) we had a very intense discussion, but those kinds of discussions are the building blocks of a strong relationship; in the end we were happy.
Has anyone else noticed anything strange with the U.S. postal service? My car tabs are apparently missing (my roommates say that they do not have them, so I am assuming they never go to the apartment, but there is a possibility they got there but someone thought it was junk mail, because it comes in something that looks like junk mail), the phone I ordered for Alexis has apparently not arrived at the apartment either (my roommates back home do not know anything about that either
I hate pride, and I hate stress, the combination of the two is an explosion waiting to happen. The conditions were just right tonight to start world war three and pride and stress were the two active ingredients. I am the most productive when under or in a stressful situation. So, for me I personally was not stressed, and I did my best to not be prideful and allow the ideas of others to be tried out first, then I took my turn, but it seems that my ideas do not mean much under these circumstances. Everything is okay though, my pride was not hurt, it was under attack, but I did not fight back, fighting back would have done nothing to help the situation. I know three things that would have made the entire night much better: First, we should have prayed before the meeting for ourselves, and for the people who would come, second, we should have prayed with the group when the meeting started, and third, a time of worship in the beginning I believe would have defused some of the stresses of the day. I must remember to bring this up at our next leaders meeting, or else we will be doomed.
I hate it when I offer to do something (when I can see that the person is stressed and does not want to do it), such as clean the dishes, or some other chore, and then that person does it anyway. This really makes me feel worthless as if my offer meant nothing. It is one of the biggest pet peeves I have, and I really need to let everyone know this.
Please pray for the stress in everyone’s lives here to be defused. I have loved the last week, for most people it would have been a stressful week, for me it was great. I got many things done, except everyone else seems to have been burned out by it, and that makes me sad (for them) because no one wants to simply relax and hang out. I enjoy running errands, doing things on the computer for others, and simple other things, to make life less stressful, for others this is stressful, for me it is serving and gives me a feeling of accomplishment.
I do not do random ramblings very much, in fact I do not remember the last time I did just ramble on. So many things have happened here in Zakopane since I arrived in September, not just things here, but things in my heart and my spirit too. The battles and triumphs are too many to count, but each one of them has changed me a little. Thank God that I can keep contact back home, not because I am home sick (although that does, has, and I know will happen more), but because I can stay aware of prayer needs back home. I have been able to use a few situations from home now, as a way of witnessing and showing how God’s culture works, and that it does not matter where you are, bad things happen to good people, bad things happen to God’s people, but only God can change those things, if we allow him.
I have seen so much, yet I have not acted on much of it. I am beginning to realize that one year here does no justice, for me or for the people here. However, I still have a strong calling to Seattle, but now that calling I believe will have a connection to Poland, not sure how, but I strongly believe in maintaining relationships, that I will do. I am so excited for things to come; I am no longer discouraged by the lack of “fruit” showing, like one of my commenters pointed out, some will sow, and others may nurture. Therefore, I will accomplish my roll, as long as I am honoring and praising God as I do it.
Although I have had almost zero communication with Alexis this week, I am even more in Love with her. I know that time alone, and silence between us does not lead to doubts or fears, instead it leads to confidence and reassurance we are living for the Lord. She sent a wonderful Christmas card to Carol and Denise, in fact, it was the first Christmas card that they have received this Christmas season, and yep that is my Alexis! I cannot wait to spend some time with her here, and make memories here in Poland; only the life of a Christ-follower, one that I do not deserve.
I am still struggling with some things
“Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. For others will treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how you are judged. And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying, `Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log from your own eye; then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. Don’t give what is holy to unholy people. Don’t give pearls to swine! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.” [Matthew 7:1-6]
This passage is incredibly misused, especially with Christians my age. I have heard on a number of occasions “don’t judge me” it is a great defense for those who do not want to take responsibility for their actions. I will admit I have at times deserved those words being used against me, because of the way I said it, not what I said. I believe many people do not understand how to give proper criticism, suggestion, sound Godly advice, they just know how to say, “Dancing leads to sex, and therefore you can not dance”.
I believe the failure of Christians to disciple new believers is the cause of this “do not judge me attitude”. Without discipleship, all we get is a body of believers who do not need to take personal responsibility for their own wellbeing or of others. It is a lot easier to set yourself apart from the “world” and be “holy” than it is to go into the world and reach out to the sinners (did they forget they are sinners too?). There is a great discussion on discipleship happening over at LivingRoom, go take a look. I believe when a person is properly discipled they will easily show the fruits of the spirit, and will not provoke the “do not judge me” card from others. Of course discipleship is a long process, reading a book, going through a discipleship class etc, will not immediately produce a disciple of Christ or a Christ-follower, it may produce a Christ-listener, but not a follower. Even the disciples of the Bible went through a process, a three-year process! In fact, in retrospect it also took me about three years to go from a simple “believer”, then “listener” to “follower”. We cannot force someone to change from their sins; we can only show the way.
My passion is to form a small group of young adults who are willing to learn and be dicipled here in Zakopane, so after I leave they can then disciple more. This of course will take a lot of personal time, as I do not have three years here; I pray they will see the path. Carol, Denise, and Chris are here for the long haul so I know the discipleship process will continue.
Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given complete authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” [Matthew 28:18-20]
We have all read, or heard these words before, it wasn’t just “go and tell people about me”, it was “go teach all with love, what I have taught you”.
I am exhausted, I got up at 6:50am with out a problem, and ready to venture off to Krakow again! This time I had to take the bus from Zakopane to Nowy Targ to Carol and Denise’s place, it is a half hour walk to the bus station, and about a half hour on the bus, by car it only takes 20 min from door to door. However, I was fully awake (thank God, I was able to get to bed before midnight last night) and ready for the day ahead. We left Nowy Targ at about eight and were in Krakow just after half past nine. Our first stop, coffee, you just cannot get Seattleites away from coffee it was great! The main reason for going to Krakow was to pick up our friend Howard from England, but his plane would not arrive until 1:45pm, so we had some time to kill. Therefore, we went Christmas shopping, I got a few things for people back home, and we got some Christmas decorations for our apartment, on Saturday we get the tree!
I am slowly preparing for our young adults group on Saturday, Denise and I will be tag-team teaching about what the Holy Spirit does (not the fruits, but what does the Holy Spirit do for us) in our lives. I am hoping for some kind of object lesson and hopefully I can pull something from my past to demonstrate it even further. I have lots of information; I am just not sure how we are going to dispense it. I know the Holy Spirit will lead them into all truth; it is just a matter of loving on them, so they can feel safe and comfortable to ask us questions. This is unquestionably a point of prayer, thanks!
Personally, I am doing a lot better than this time last week! Thank you for your prayers. I can’t believe I’ll actually be going to bed before ten tonight, I can’t remember the last time I did that! I have many things rattling around in my brain lately just not sure how to word them right now. All I know for sure is this: God is good all the time, Jesus is much more than I can ever imagine, and I have so much to learn. However, one-step at a time will make life much better, I do not need to see all the steps, and I do not need an instruction booklet because I have a personal guide.
When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not be presenting his own ideas; he will be telling you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future. He will bring me glory by revealing to you whatever he receives from me. [John 16:13-14]
So I took a “spiritual types” test over at MethodX and it is fairly accurate, except that I like being with people, but at times I enjoy my solitude, I would say being with people is more important than my solitude. Take a look at what it said about me
Well my attitude is changing, and I am getting up earlier! I don’t remember if I mentioned the snow which finally has come, well with snow comes cold temperatures, and cold temperatures means using heat, the heat is electric (for now, we have the option of coal but it may be a while) so we are spending nearly $150/month for electricity! In fact, right now, the heat is off, and I am freezing even though I am wearing a sweatshirt, hoodie sweater and I am moving my legs up and down as fast as possible trying to keep my blood moving! My support last month was $150 at this rate we have some problems. However, as always I know God will provide I have never had an issue before which kept me from fulfilling the desires God puts on my heart, nothing is going to stop me now. I finally have my third newsletter done you can find it here.
For the past three days I have actually woke up and gotten out of bed before nine in the morning! This is great, not only do I have time; I have motivation now to get done the things I want. I still have not picked up the guitar, but I think that on Thursday I will have the opportunity.
I am not going to write anymore, read my newsletter, then get away from the computer and do something for someone.
Yes, I could write about more troubles, struggles, and pitfalls, but I am going to choose to say something nice. I am attempting to adjust my attitude, although when I am tired it does not come naturally. One prayer item; an attitude adjustment, finding a solution to the unknown reason for the attitude problem, its not being thrown in anyone’s face, but, its keeping me silent and ineffective. I do not want to be this way, but I find I am not as stable as I use to be. God is teaching me many awesome things, and I am looking forward to enjoying them, but I have a feeling it will be in retrospect
At 1:15am this morning I received an email from Carol (one of the missionaries I am here working with) and fortunately I was online. Because Denise had fallen sick with some kind of nasty stomach bug, they needed someone to take Peter to the bus station in Krakow (he is going to Basel, Switzerland for an internship). I was a little hesitant because I knew I would not get to sleep for another few hours (sleeping until 3pm does not make it easy to get to bed and wake up the next morning, early), but I said yes. After responding yes I was sure I would regret it, I didn’t really want to drive the two hours to Krakow, just to turn around and drive another two hours back by myself. I called Alexis and wined to her, but she is great and reminded me why I am in Poland, to serve, duh! That means I need to do things I do not like sometimes, or things that are not convenient for me. However, as I hung up I was still fearing it, and not happy about getting up in the morning, two hours later I finally fell asleep. I woke up to the phone ringing at a quarter to seven; it was Carol just confirming when she would be at our place with Peter. I slept until my alarm went off at ten to eight, took a shower, had a nice hot bowl of Apple and Cinnamon oat meal (thanks to my wonderful aunt Maggie!) and actually I was feeling very good.
The drive to Krakow was awesome, it started snowing (finally!) on Saturday around here, and it is beautiful! I had fun talking with Peter, and sending him off at the bus station. The drive home though was the best, and last night it was the most dreaded part. I praised God the whole way home, blasted worship music and other great music, and had a great intimate time with the Lord. My attitude is completely different; I really needed that time, to be truly by myself, now I know why I love driving! I cannot wait for the next opportunity to do it again, thank you Jesus!
During the drive, I really felt God put some things on my heart, and tell me a few things. One of those things was prayer; he convicted me of my pathetic (not prophetic) prayer life. I always get urges and images in my mind of people to pray for, and sometimes during worship, I feel the impression to pray for someone on the spot, but I have never taken the step to do it. Sometimes I will pray in my head, maybe utter it under my breath, but never directly to the person or aloud for others to hear. Only once have I stepped up and obeyed the Holy Spirit in this area, it is an area I have many reservations in, not sure why, just do. I will try from this point forward to step out of my comfort zone, and into this new world, which I think will open up new doors for relationship building. I Praise you Lord Jesus, unto you be glory, unto you be honor, unto you be praises, forever and ever!
Your unfailing love is better to me than life itself; how I praise you! I will honor you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer. You satisfy me more than the richest of foods. I will praise you with songs of joy. [Psalm 63:3-5]
