Month: May 2004

I have posted newsletter seven. Take a look exciting things are happening. I hate having to beg for money, but I think it is something God is working in me. In Seattle, I was always giving money to people who needed it, or I simply paid for people’s meals, simply for the fellowship and friendship building, here it’s almost reversed, it’s certainly a humbling experience.

The Californian’s are gone, but it is a see you later not a goodbye. It is amazing just how close you can get to other brothers and sisters in Christ in just a week. As we prayed for the team tonight to send them back home, and as they drove away I was holding back tears, and as I type this, I feel the lump grow in my throat. I really learned a lot this week from the team. They were all from Thousand Oaks Foursquare church in Thousand Oaks, California. God used Bob, the pastor, he really taught me a lot about serving, fully prepared, and that “winging it” just will not cut it, preparation will always honor God, and “winging it” will only work for a while. I need to live responsibly for the Kingdom. To the best of my ability, I am practicing humility.

The other three, Fabio, Lyndee, and Gene were extraordinary leaders and servants. Each one of them taught me about a different are in my life that needs more of Christ. Fabio taught me about careful thought and loving through listening. Lyndee taught me about the heart of living love out, doing what needed to be done and trying her best at everything she did. Gene taught me about praying in a heart of expectancy, yet not for what I wanted but for what is needed and of having fun. The entire team could not have been better except if chosen by God himself. I really saw the love of the Lord in them and I know God used them to love on us and the Polish people here in Zakopane.

What is Kingdom culture? What is human culture? What is American? What is Polish? These are all questions I really want to see answered. I only want to be reflecting Kingdom culture, sure, some parts of the other’s may match, but not all. I want to be a citizen of Heaven not of Earth. I do not really belong here anyway, no Christian does. Why should I keep on learning about American culture VS Polish culture when really I should be focusing on what is Kingdom culture. Kingdom culture will not dishonor God, it may make people uncomfortable, but it will show them God. I want to portray His kingdom’s culture, not mine, not Polish, nor anything else.

I believe the entire New Testament is all about learning to live as God intended us, essentially preparing the way for life in Heaven, living in and for the Kingdom. Shouldn’t we try to figure out what is human VS what is heavenly rather than trying to “fit in” to our own cultures? I am tired of being scared to offend someone by simply doing what is Christian. I do not want to use God’s name to offend anyone, and I believe that if it is in God’s will and truly of his culture, it will not offend but instead bring people closer to Him. I do not want to be afraid to be Christian anymore, especially since the consequences are so trivial and human rather than God-disgracing and hurtful. I have the Holy Spirit, I have nothing to be afraid of if I seek His wisdom and counsel and live for him fully.

I will no longer be afraid to live for God just because it is something not done culturally. I will no longer shy away from doing what is the right thing. I will work hard because it is God’s way.

Are cool, especially when they are really cool brothers and sisters who simply want to love people just as Jesus did. Amen. I still think they drive scary though.

The past couple of days I have been feeling inadequate as a person of God’s. I know without any doubt that God does not see me this way. However, this is what I am feeling. I feel like I don’t know enough, that I haven’t known God long enough, that I because I don’t have the history that some have that I am just a “baby Christian” and that I don’t have much to offer. Of course, I know that no one here would agree with this, but that does not change how I feel. I am feeling this way partly because of a bunch of stupid things I have said or done, like forgetting my keys and having to drive across town, twice, and saying things that are apparently obvious to everyone else, except me. Moreover, the most discouraging thing is that my ideas never seem to be “good enough” to warrant support and encouragement from others. It is always “great, set it all up and we’ll be there” this is discouraging for me I want support and I want to do things with people, in the whole process, I want to hear “great, how can I help?”

Please pray that I will regain my confidence, that people will see that offering help is not only helpful but also encouraging, it tells me that my ideas warrant attention. Pray that I am able to press on and not be discouraged by the lies of Satan. Pray that I can be myself, have the right words and be effective. Pray that I am encouraged and hear words of affirmation from those who can also provide helpful criticism and support. Thanks.

Sin does not make a person bad nor should sin be considered a bad thing. A person full of sin can be the nicest person everyone knows. No, sin is not bad but sin causes bad things in our lives. Sin is what keeps us from knowing God and his will. Sin is anything that separates us from God’s way. For each person’s sin is different. But of course, there are sins, which we all have to face. I believe this to be a more accurate description of sin. Many people interpret sin as things that are bad or cause harm to others. Except that when I read what God has told us, sin is always an issue of someone not going God’s way and therefore there is a natural consequence.

Please do not interpret things like getting sick as the result of sin. The consequences of sin are much more than simple biological issues, our souls are not biological so the consequence of sin cannot be biological. The consequences of sin must affect our souls, at the deepest parts of our existence, the part where our connection with God is made. When we finally accept that we have sin in our lives, it opens up the connection for God to move. God creates a spiritual presence in us that allows us to see sin more clearly. Just as a cat instinctively will track its prey, once God’s spirit is inside us it will guide us to a stronger connection with God. Sin blocks that connection and without it we are blind.

I remember a time, back in high school, where I thought God had completely abandoned me. I had lost the presidency for our high school band. In one class period, I went from being president, where I felt like I belonged, to nothing (or so I thought). I had prayed for Jesus to help me win, it was my desire to belong, so God would grant me the desire of my heart. Well, God did not grant me my desire, nor did it feel like he was involved. How wrong I was.

I remember being completely crushed, I wanted to quit, I even tried to transfer schools, and I felt betrayed and abandoned by God and my classmates. However, God was in the process of granting my desire, while I thought I needed that position to belong, God was preparing me another place, in his kingdom. But of course, I slowly drifted away from going to church (I was very young in the faith), I went back to being with my friends who were “cool”, but the feeling of belonging was not fulfilled. Thankfully, my youth pastor noticed and invited me to go on a mission trip. I had one requirement, my friend Nicole would go. The short story is that Nicole got in trouble and couldn’t go, so I went because I had already paid the non-refundable deposit. At this point though, I was sure God was not answering any prayer because now the one requirement I had was removed.

I went on that mission trip, to the Crow Indian Reservation in Montana. I also discovered that this was the place God wanted me to belong (I didn’t really make the connection until months later, hind sight is always 20/20). Since I was one of the oldest I quickly took on a leadership role, and eventually I became a co-leader of that group. Had I become band president my senior year, I know I would’ve had no time to help with the youth group, which was something that not only prepared me in many more areas of life and faith, it also had a more influential effect.

While I thought, that God was just standing there letting me make mistakes, in reality he was reaching out to me. Through my youth pastor, to-be friends in the church (albeit I wasn’t not very open to hearing from them since I was not a part of that group) God was reaching me. They wanted to help, and this was God’s way of reaching me. I’ve learned over the years God uses people to reach people. I am very honored to be on the other end now, it is also a very humbling experience and if I am not careful, I can be discouraged. While I miss my friends very much and the deep relationships that are built on Jesus, I know I am here to serve and experience God directly now that I know he is always with me. None of this is because of who I am, it is all because of who God is.

I love the new Blogger profiles! Did you know that by clicking on one of your interests, movies, music listings, location, etc Blogger will list people with matching items? It is so rad I have already found so many neat people. I don’t know what I’m going to do; my blogroll is already way to long. So for now I’ll just plug a few of the people I’ve ran across.

Vin Thomas via “Wild at Heart” – Vin Thomas
Luaren (whom totally reminds me of my friend Lauren Rimkus!) via “Switchfoot” – Whoa Kids
Joshua via “Switchfoot” – 4given

PS. I don’t know what is going on, but I can’t access Haloscan. Apparently there is something wrong between here (in Poland) and there.

For my Alexis,

So this is love, Mmmmmm
So this is love
So this is what makes life divine
I’m all aglow, Mmmmmm
And now I know
The key to all heaven is mine

My heart has wings, Mmmmmm
And I can fly
I’ll touch ev’ry star in the sky
So this is the miracle that I’ve been dreaming of
Mmmmmm
Mmmmmm
So this is love

Sometimes I’m not so sure technology is worth the frustration. Give me some feedback on this new design… I’m not too sure I like the colors, but I’m not really excited about creating all the rounded corners myself. I promise I’ll post something a bit more intresting tomorrow (um… I mean today).