Category: Church

Fear and Surrender

The potential of a person is not for other people to determine, it is only for other people to encourage.  Seeing a person be insecure, unable to talk, and unable to identify their own passions is something which stirs me to action.  My heart is moved and many times God’s voice clearly says “speak my truth” – the truth that all people have a purpose, and it’s more than they can imagine, and it scares them to death.  The risks involved are almost always the issue.  We can’t be stupid, we’ve been given knowledge for a reason, however, and the knowledge is a tool, not the means.  For me, faith comes into play when what I know God is asking, is impossible without Him.

Many times I realize that if I am dwelling on how God will come through, I just end up waiting longer and longer – it’s when I surrender, straight away or quickly after a quick panic, that God begins to show me/us the blessings – and usually it is in ways that I would never have done on my own.  Surrendering is the key, without surrender, it becomes a burden, and I know that once something feels like a burden I am not letting God be in control.  I have found these last few ideas to be the greatest confidence building tools for myself, and I have witnessed others take these steps and become amazing leaders as well.

Bottom line (not to be read as reducing to a pat Christian “answer”, but rather encompassing everything above into a thought producing idea for further pondering): When fear arises, what does God say?  Is it a risk to do what God asks?  When you address the fear speak with the authority you have been given (see the end of any of the Gospels and what Jesus says to the disciples, and us, the descendants)!

What I’m thinking…

One of the many reasons I don’t write on here anymore is that, as self-focused as it sounds, I think far to hard about what people may think about what I’m writing.  So, I end up canceling out any thoughts with silly weird arguments about why not to post something.  The whole idea behind this blog in the first place was simply to write about what I was thinking, about life, about God, about people, etc… But with more and more of what I (we) are doing in the future, I feel I need to filter things far more than I would like.

I suppose the challenge is that I should write in a way that I still express myself honestly, and at the same time in a way that honors the God that I so claim to follow and love.  Yet, many times the things I’m thinking about are about the disappointments of life, which are all quite real, and need to be discussed.  I know there are plenty of people who appreciate the reality, but I also know (all to well) there are people who want to “make sure God is involved” – and then there’s the “You’re going to be a missionary, right?, YES!  So, don’t you think you should be positive and focused on God… well yes… but…”  I understand these comments, I really do, and at the same time I strive to not be religious and not be giving pat, common, text-book, Christian answers.  God is far bigger than that.

So here I start on a very long, overdue, rant and soap box… however I will start with the core of my God-given heart’s desire in life….  I wrote the following and realized it was a bit convoluted, but maybe it will start some conversation, and then I can clarify with posts to address the questions and/or discussion that comes – or maybe it will just sit here and I’ll create conversation in my head and post my thoughts as I go…

The strongest passion I have for others is that they be encouraged in their walk with God, and not just in the private aspect of a relationship with God but in the ministry piece.  In fact, sometimes I wonder if our walk with God is truly full unless we are actively ministering to those around us.  I often find myself frustrated, disappointed, and concerned for the “Church” do to the apparent lack of concern for caring (ministry) to others.  Then again, I find myself equally frustrated by myself because I myself do not step up when I know that God has given me many opportunities.

So, as a person who is fully aware of what God is calling me, and my family to do, I am constantly looking for ways to encourage others to trust God, and take risks.  Many times throughout biblical stories we see the characters faced with life-changing risks.  The blessings that come from following through, and having the discipline to honor God with our decisions, are more than I could ever explain in a short posting here.

The challenge every person faces come not in the big decisions, but in the everyday decisions, the choices that are presented to us when we first greet our co-workers in the morning, or how we engage in conversation with our peers.  Yet there are so many forces which drive our interactions with those around us, everything from how our parents treated us, how “popular” we were in school, to poor choices and uncontrollable life circumstances that eat at our soul and take us off track.

Most of what I write is simply me processing the events that I witness, in the Church and outside the Church, as I see people of all statuses and of all walks I am humbled to know God as I do.  I am challenged each day with the ideas of why has God given us, my family,  the joy of having such amazing family and friends…. while others are seemingly aloof, floating around in this world without any connection points.   Then I am reminded that it was because someone, at some point, obeyed God, and reached out, took a while to minister to someone, who did the same, who eventually ministered to me, and the same to Alexis.

I thank God for those that have this discipline, this passion, for I am eternally grateful.  I wish to not be like these people because of these great things, I wish to do these things because our God has an amazing and wonderful life to give us, when we surrender to him.  This is the heart of everything I am, want to be, and will be.  I have nothing to be discouraged by, as long as I am choosing to obey and discipline myself… even then God’s grace is sufficient if I fail to meet “the mark”.

Let those that have ears hear.  May those in the Church be encouraged to take the risks, the “lost” have the choice, only if they experience it though, we also have a choice – but I’m not so sure we can easily forget (that voice is pretty consistent) when we choose to ignore it.

and His kingdom come…

Just about every day, my thoughts are invaded with the idea of “His will be done and his Kingdom come” and I always start to think what on earth does that look like?  I think I get the “His will be done” part – for the most part, listening, and obeying what I hear him ask me to do.

But this “and his Kingdom come…” part is what I get stuck on.  Now someone could easily “go logical” on us and say, well if you are letting his will be done (listening and obeying) then his kingdom is advancing…  Yes, that makes sense, yet I believe there is a lot more than just a simple cause and effect formula to this kingdom thing.

For me the Kingdom of God here on earth “as it is in heaven” is well beyond my understanding, it’s more emotional, more carnal.  The Kingdom is the Church, the people, the relationships, all of which are connected by the ribbon of God flowing through our lives.  The Kingdom is here on earth when I stop and take  a moment to pray for my friends, when I have coffee with someone, when I text a word of encouragement.  These things to me are letting the Kingdom come.  Yes those things are also His will living through my life.  For the Kingdom to come, his will must be done.  For his will to be done, the kingdom must come.

If a day goes by and a relationship isn’t touched, a soul not encouraged, a person’s thoughts not effected, or a prayer not offered up on behalf of another – then I wonder “have I let the Kingdom come today?”

Let his kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven…..  as it is in heaven – that’s my next idea to ponder.

Church is not a feel good place

This is something that I have touched on in the past before.   But it seems that I’m seeing, reading, and hearing of people falling into the idea that church should be a “feel good place” – they would never admit to it, they would probably not even be really aware of it.  Church should be a place of growth in God, and more times than not it seems God will use other people to cause that growth in us, that can be through a number of different ways.  Sometimes it’s simply someone who is very irritating to you, other times it’s a leader who just doesn’t quit say things very nicely.  Other times it’s God putting us in leadership and then being burnt by the leadership team.

When we commit to be in leadership, to make a church our home, or anytime we say Yes to something, we must make our yes be yes – even when disagreements, annoyances, and simple fleshly crap comes up.  This doesn’t mean we become door mats to the people around us – absolutely not.  Our no must be no as well, but we must communicate fully, and if God is giving people different visions, it’s ok – we have free will, exercise it, but do it in grace remember we are all human, even the Church leaders.

Collosians 3:12-15 [nlt]

12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 15And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

GOD IS THE FEEL GOOD PLACE – Not the Church, the Church is simply the medium God uses to bring us to him, and many times it doesn’t feel good, and many times it does.  Christ is the head of the Church, not any human – remember that, and we have full access to him.  When we love him and truly love others as we do ourselves and him, then we begin to feel Good – even if it tortures us to look at people as God does.

Receiving when you can’t give.

Recently Alexis and I have been the recipients of so many gifts from people, many different things, from dinners, furniture, and donations for our trips, to full outfits for Emma, wonderfully framed pictures, and freshly grown vegetables from people’s gardens.  We are so thankful, and we would love to give back in someway, but in most cases we just are not able – and sometimes it gets hard to receive when you are not able to give back in return.  However we are learning that in God’s kingdom there isn’t a balance in this area.  We are told to freely give, so we may freely receieve… sometimes I think our culture twists this and makes us think that means we have to be “fair” in our giving and receiving, making sure that we give back to those that give to us.  When really, to give freely means giving without expecting anything back, at all.  And to freely receieve means exactly that, to receive and not be under pressure to give something in exchange.  For if this is what Jesus wanted we would all be dead.

Still though, it is hard to be in a place where it seems so unbalanced, even harder when it is near strangers giving you things.  It’s humbling, and it’s kingdom like.  We are so thankful to be in a church family that gets this.  We do thank God for all of them every day.  Our appreciation can only be expressed in words and time spent with you all.

Thank you.

Voices of the past

I have been reading Don Miller’s “Blue like Jazz” for a week or so now, on my daily 1 hour commute each way.  The MAX can be quite the cultural experience, and for the most part I like it.  But combine a challenging book such as “Blue like jazz” and you might just end up frustrated.  You see, this book gets to the core of what Christianity really is, really “should” be, the spiritual piece, not the standard life-behavior rhetoric we usually hear.

But this triggers voices inside that are at odds with my origins.  First of all I’m suddenly convicted of not caring for people when I thought I did – my head does, I know what is right but if I don’t actually do it – then do I really believe it?  For example, there was a guy who got on the train at the same place as I, he was quite confused, a little slow, and kept bothering people on how to get to some place he had written on a piece of paper.  The whole time I heard God telling me to help him, possibly go with him the whole way to his destination… but the voice of fear said otherwise, and I kept reading the book – which threw me into a tornado of thoughts, and made me realize how much I fear rejection – even though I don’t let it emotionally bother me – but that’s probably because I don’t let it happen anymore.

None the less I am sure God put another person on the train – because moments later another guy got on and sat next to the confused dude, and within minutes he was describing to him in details how the Portland Transit system works, and where to get off to get to his destination (which apparently didn’t make sense, something like take the Yamhill bus to 10, and 10 to Yamhill… ummm).  Anyway – this is just a very small example of the thoughts going on from about 6am to 7am and 3:30 to 4:30 these days.

Another creed series

From time to time I like to write about my “creeds” or personal beliefs if you will, and over the years these beliefs have changed, not dramatically.  I don’t believe they have contradicted themselves, they have simply developed and matured – and probably will continue to do so.  Even if they do contradict themselves, I pray that they continue to be based on my relationship with God and in agreement with the greatest commandments – love him with all of me, and love people with all of me.

So over the next few days I hope to take some time to address specific ideas and beliefs – some of which are of the controversial flavor.  For now take a look at my past creedal statements.

Running away… not a choice.

I know we’ve all had those times in ministry, leadership, family, with friends, etc, that we just want to run away from.  You know, the relational crap that makes you sick to your stomach?  While I don’t have any relationships that are in dire straights, I do have some crucial conversations on my horizon.  

What is messing with me the most is that I’m sure I communicated some things one way, very specifically to prevent the mess that has happened, but what the people in question heard was exactly the opposite of what I wanted to communicate.  I even clarified the conversations… So this seems like a case of remembering what you want to hear… or something.

So I sit here, unable to sleep, because relationships are the most important things in life, and while no one hates me, I can see where relationship growth has been hindered.  It grieves me, and all I want to do is drive far, far, away, not because it would help anything, but maybe my mind would be put at ease…  maybe.

What’s in a church?

Firstly, Alexis and I are not looking for a new church.  Yet, we do have friends and peers who are not exactly “happy” with our church.  So what is it that people look for in a church?  In our observation we see that people want their passions to be used, but can a church be all things to all people?  Some would say no, and others say churches should be.  What’s realistic?  To be a jack of all trades, and a master of none?  Or shall the Church (the universal group of Jesus-followers) focus on its strengths, and manifest those strengths in the local parts of the greater Church?  Some churches focus on outreach, others focus on discipling and equipping, other churches on music, some on prayer?

I think there are some universal things that each church must have, one is a focus on the full-gospel (the heaven AND hell part with the grace AND truth parts), the next is on our relationship with God (in the form of prayer, meditation, and reverence for Him), and our relationship with people (serving each other and loving through ALL things).  When each of these things are included, a local church becomes well rounded.  Any of these pieces lack, then some isn’t quite right.  This isn’t to say that some churches will have stronger outreach, while others have stronger emphasis on discipleship.

In the end, as believers, we all have the responsibility to be a part of what the Church is doing.  We shall be known for our love, right?  Love is action, and sometimes that’s recognizing that you’re not fully in sync with your surroundings, and that can be your church.  So speak up, cast vision, be a part of the solution, don’t leave it to the “powers that be” (who truly do not have power, except when people follow the desires God puts in their hearts).

I hate it.

One thing I have grown to loath is fund raising.  While it’s a pretty needed step in everything God has asked us to do, it isn’t easy.  The feeling I get with each request is that I feel like a beggar.  I hate it.  I know that most people don’t see it as begging, but the feeling doesn’t get better when the responses are either negative or nill.  We have had our share of negative responses from people who apparently do not know exactly what we are doing, and haven’t read the things we have done over the years.   Thankfully these kinds of responses have slowed down, and in fact the past couple of months we haven’t received a single one. 

However the lack of giving, and responses is the most de-motivating, and causes us to rethink our strategy, and especially in the hardest moments our calling. We have only had a handful of very large donations from very few people to support us the past five years, this is incredible and God has shown us amazing provision through this.  Yet I still want to believe in Acts, where all the believers shared in everything.  Not to toot our own horn and yet gracefully show a point – Alexis and I tithe to our home church and give offerings to four different missions projects, and soon a fifth.  We hope to always do this and be consistent, in both financial giving, prayers, and talking/encouraging with our friends abroad.
 
I’m not really sure what this entry is about, I guess it’s venting, I guess I have a small hope that it will motivate more people to give just a little.  It’s difficult to not be a bit discouraged, and believe me, Alexis and I know the truth, and plenty of people love to remind us (the pat statements, you know what I mean)… we know God will provide – it’s just the human factor we’re a bit unsure of right now, both in us, and others.