Culture – Page 4 – No Small Talk

No social club here

One thing I have noticed about today’s culture is that so many of us go about our day seeking the next best opportunity, the next best opportunity to fulfill some kind of desire, wound, status, name your “wants”, for our selves. We are seek the highs of life, we go from one experience to the next. Seeking the experiential highs of life, afraid to make commitments just in case “something better comes along”. Even worse, we cancel our commitments when something better does come up, or we cancel because we decide, “uh, no I really won’t have fun with him/her”.

I witness this kind of mind set all to often, and you know what it is exactly the same inside the Church and outside. So it’s not a Church problem, it’s a culture problem. Sure, I believe the Church needs to address it, but it is very hard to address something for which we have bought into, and sometimes we even encourage it. We encourage it with our worship services, with our snazzy programs, etc. I thank God that I’m in a community (aka, my church) which strives very hard to not promote this, however, the pressure is on and it shows it’s nasty little head quite often.

The genesis of this posting wasn’t really the obvious disregard for other people’s needs that I see each day, it actually came when I observed my elders buying into this. When I say elders I don’t mean the “council” or “deacons” or “leaders” or “pastors” at my church, I mean the people I respect in my life who are a generation or more ahead of me. With much disgust (from my perspective) I’ve recently seen the very people I respect, love, and look up to, make decisions on their commitments in the exact same way I see much of our “pop” culture doing. With things such as “well, we didn’t feel we were needed”, and “I just wasn’t experiencing what I wanted”.

Now these are blanket statements, that need more context, and to be fair, “sound bites” and small quotes never paint the full picture. However I hope you’re getting my drift. You see, I think it bothers me more coming from my elders because I (and many more as many of my friends have stated too) desire for them to lead me. I guess it’s a sense of abandonment, a sense that, well if I don’t get what I “want” or if I don’t “feel” what I want to, then I should just go somewhere else. I want to scream and make it known, WE WANT YOU, we CARE, and we NEED you. Obviously there are two sides to this coin. I need to speak up (and my peers), and we all need to pay attention to the generations below us, no matter where we are.

You see, I don’t see the Church as a social club, it’s not optional, and it’s not something we shop around for, it’s community, it’s intentional connection, it’s seeking God, seeking God’s hand through others, and seeking to be used by God. Of course it doesn’t mean sticking around some place trying to live authentically when no one else will, and it certainly doesn’t mean staying some place where you’re being abused (in any way shape or form). What it does mean, is being intentional about meeting the needs of others, and allowing God to be bigger, humbling yourself to serve, and not seeking the experience, but instead, seeking the one who has done it all, so that we can be the light he has called us to be, in serving and proclaiming, with love and truth. Our culture is hard, and I run into the stumbling blocks all the time, I have a hard time thinking outside the culture so that I can reach the culture, it’s not easy, but I strive for it. It’s like the picture, all pretty outside, but stinky inside, yet it meets the need and provides relief.

This little thought brought to you by 1 Peter 5:1-11

1 And now, a word to you who are elders in the churches. I, too, am an elder and a witness to the sufferings of Christ. And I, too, will share in his glory when he is revealed to the whole world. As a fellow elder, I appeal to you:2 Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God.3 Don’t lord it over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your own good example.4 And when the Great Shepherd appears, you will receive a crown of never-ending glory and honor.
5 In the same way, you younger men must accept the authority of the elders. And all of you, serve each other in humility, for

“God opposes the proud
but favors the humble.”s

6 So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.
8 Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.9 Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisterss all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are.
10 In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.11 All power to him forever! Amen.

Keep on knocking

Luke 11:5-8 [nlt]

⁵ Then, teaching them more about prayer, he used this story: “Suppose you went to a friend’s house at midnight, wanting to borrow three loaves of bread. You say to him, ⁶ ‘A friend of mine has just arrived for a visit, and I have nothing for him to eat.’ ⁷ And suppose he calls out from his bedroom, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is locked for the night, and my family and I are all in bed. I can’t help you.’ ⁸ But I tell you this—though he won’t do it for friendship’s sake, if you keep knocking long enough, he will get up and give you whatever you need because of your shameless persistence.

Wow… hello world, yes there is actually someone here today. I have no real idea what to write about, there is so much going on, so many things I could write about, yet, I guess I’m giving into “who really cares” at the moment. However, I know there are plenty who do care. I know that in our crazy lives we will easily assume “no one cares”. However, our God is bigger than that, he actually works through his people… did you know that!? Yup, it’s true, people can be used by God.

So, why is it so hard to believe, so hard to actually see? Because I think the enemy has so many of us right where he wants us… apathetic, fearful, and “not equipped”. I myself have been in this place so many times, and many times I’m completely unaware until something hits me in the head. Everyday I think about this kind of thing, the things that I observe about the Church, people, society… and so often it seems so big, so unchangeable. The truth is, outside of God using us, it is unchangeable.

So this little parable about the friend knocking… it’s in reference to prayer… is God the friend in the house? Kinda not the God I’ve been taught about… essentially a cranky old man who doesn’t want to help his friend at night? – I know in my heart this isn’t who God is, but sure seems like it at times… but I realize I’m looking at the wrong part of the story. The last line tells it all “he will get up and give you whatever you need because of your shameless persistence” not whatever you want but whatever you need. This is the key, God will give us whatever we need when we are persistent.

Being persistent is one of the hardest things for me to do, I feel like I’m either trying to sell something, I’m acting without faith, or I’m not where I should be. Jesus doesn’t end the story there…

Luke 11:9-12 [nlt]

⁹ “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. ¹⁰ For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

¹¹ “You fathers—if your children ask for a fish, do you give them a snake instead? ¹² Or if they ask for an egg, do you give them a scorpion? Of course not! ¹³ So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.”

Father God, give me your wisdom, give me your eyes, give me your peace, and give me your love. May I continue to operate with you, and you alone. I want to be your disciple first, seek love in my marriage, and father my children in your ways. I know your plans are good, and I know your promises are true. May I bless you oh God, may I seek you in all things, fill my spirit with your will, and may I do what you do in Heaven, here on earth!

Not being paid, but love it.

Alexis and I have been involved with leading ministry since before we were married (we took a year long break just after our wedding, 4 years ago this week!), and during all this time I have worked full time. We are currently in the process of becoming licensed Pastors (yes, both of us) and do not have plans to become “full time staff” anywhere. While there are times where I personally have longed to have 100% of my focus on ministry, I am seeing some things change in our world where I don’t think that’s going to be the norm.

I believe the people of the Church should support the Church through their tithes and extra special offerings, if everyone who had a Church they called “home” would tithe 10% we might see a lot more, not because there would be more money, but because there would be more sacrifice, tithing is not about supporting/paying the Church, it’s about your personal sacrifice, do you trust God in your life with your finances? Tithes are also not a tax, we can’t expect “services” from our tithes.

But with that said, I also believe that bi-vocational ministry (working full time outside the Church, and serving as a pastor, leader, teacher, etc inside the Church) can play a key role in building the Church to a place where we can “prepare God’s people for the works of service, so that the body may be built up” (Eph 4:12). I believe with all my heart that every single person who has a relationship with Jesus Christ has the gifts to minister, both inside and outside the Church. We must be mentoring our young, and we must be wise to listen to our elders, weather or not we are in a full-time paid ministry position, or simply obeying God by walking out our gifts, we are a called people! Ministry is not a job, it is not “work” in the sense of paid-work, it is love in action, it is the Church being who the Church is.

I love doing what I do in the Church, listening, encouraging, speaking life into people, loving on people, simply “being” there, speaking truth (even when it’s hard), and giving grace. I love, love, love it. I so badly wish I didn’t have to work, I wish I could do this full time, sometimes I really hate how tired I am from “work” and I really don’t feel like “pastoring” or “loving” or “ministering”. However, it never fails that as soon as I humble myself, let my flesh burn a little, and I obey God’s voice to do what he has gifted me to do, my energy level rises, my passion grows, and God does amazing things. So, as I read today in Isaiah 6:8 – “Here I am. Send me” – just as I did nearly 5 and a half years ago as I began my first year interning at East Hill. Love is how the world will know us, and our love of the Church (or lack thereof) will determine just how much actual (remember, who is love?) love spreads.

Hard core community

For all the talk I see about community it sure seems to be an elsuive idea. I have tasted and seen kingdom based community for my own eyes, and I’ve seen people get excited and the idea never materialize. If we are going to be intentional with our lives then I propose we be intentional with our community.

Community is not simply saying hi to our neighbors a few times a week, nor is it an exclusive club of Christians gathering from time to time to just hang out, talk a little, and go about their lives. Community needs to be about the society and culture we live in, and have kingdom influence. How? By first observing the world around us, seeing the needs of those around us that we know God can meet, and seeking his will about how we as believers can meet those needs. Second, loving the community for who they are, living in their midsts and intentionally be God’s hand and feet through simple offers of compassion and benevolence. Thirdly, offering God’s truth in all things, speaking his life giving grace, peace, hope, and love into the community around us.

Sounds all nice and neat, doesn’t it? Well it’s not, the reality is that this takes a grand amount of patience and labor. In my own observance, many people are not willing to sacrifice and suffer their time and money unless they “know” for sure there will be fruit (aka a return on their investment).
I challenege this school of thought, not so that we waste our resources but that we actually be wise in God’s way and take his risks to heart. His ways are higher than ours, and he wins our battles. The victory is already his! I am willing to say (through experience) that stepping out into the unknown to touch the lives of those around you, weather they are people you know or not, will always produce fruit. It may or may not be tangible, and that’s where we begin to doubt.

Community will look different from place to place, but it will always include sacrificial love and truth. I really wish we weren’t all locked up in our detached homes, fenced off from the world, because if we lived lives where we had to cross paths with “the others” we might just see God do something! We might actually hear his voice prompt us to be community. We must surrender all of that to God, and continue on, good and faithful servant.

Barfing and quirks

My buddy Marcus (the one actually attempting to dance) posted a couple of blog entries recently which got me thinking. I don’t have a lot of time at the moment to expand on my thoughts, but two quick responses…

When it comes to “are you a barfbag friend?” there are definite seasons in which I feel like I’m on either side of that equation. The beauty of being in a (caring) Church family is that, no matter the season you are in, people will be there to simply listen (not giving advice, or suggesting action plans and lists) to what’s going on. They’ll (hopefully) consider how they can help rather telling you “what you should do is…”.

The balance in this though is, how far do you go before gracefully and lovingly telling a friend, “hey I think you need to do something about…”, and for the most part I think we (we being the Church, weather it’s a culture issue or not) are afraid of confrontation, thinking that we “can’t tell someone what to do” – however I challenge that mindset, we should be able to tell someone what we think they can do, but it is all about tact, grace, and options – not “you should do this…” Of course this needs to be done tenderly, preferably out of relationship, yet I do believe there are times, where as brothers and sisters in Christ – we just need to speak loving truth, even if it won’t be well received – otherwise we may find ourselves with a brother/sister who ends up with deeper consequences because no one loved them enough to give them another perspective.

As for Marcus’ “20 of my quirks” post, man, do I have a lot of quirks (just look at me in that picture), many of which are directly tied to my own insecurities… Since I’ve run out of time for this post, I’ll have to do a whole entry on this – I have a lot of history on this blog, I think I’ll find plenty of quirky things to look at over history (or just randomly click on the archives tab on the right).

Good work ethics are demotivating

Picture was taken at the central Library MAX stop downtown Portland waiting for the train home. Mobile post ahead, spelling and typo errors ahead…

I work with a lot of people, both in ministry and in my vocation. A lot of these people are fantastic hard working people, and…. well a lot are just not. Now when I say hard working I’m not talking about the work-aholics, that’s a different breed. I’m talking about people who have good work ethics, people who take on what is theirs, don’t blame shift, and look for solutions. When people opperate like this then I’m glad to work along side them, past mistakes, and help accomplish the bigger goal.

When I’m working with the type of person who is constantly blame shifting, covering up mistakes, and not looking for solutions then I begin to get frustrated. This is always a hard line to walk, because ultimately I need to walk the high road and love the person through the conflict without enabling them to live/work on in dysfunction. The issue and temptation I run into is paitience within myself to work with God and find the teachable moments.

Whether Christian or not, people are in one of these two categories, to varrying degrees of course. Living in harmony as Paul instructed the Romans is key to my walk with Jesus, so a value I live out is having a strong work ethic, working alongside others who don’t share that is frustrating, but not a license to micro manage, freak out, or ignore the issues. Nor is it the time to become demotivated and give up on humanity, it’s exactly the opposite, it’s time to act and be who I’m called to be and work in my skills and gifts.

Filtering life

A mobile post from the ride home, enjoy.

There is really only so much we can do in life, so making “life worth it” can seem overwhelming and unobtainable. There are a lot of different approaches, and to varying degrees I’ve watched many ways fail to bring about the “worth” people talk about. I’ve been a swinger (no not that kind) just rolling around from one thing to the next, unsure why I’m doing what I’m doing.

Now it’s different, there’s meaning, and sometimes that very meaning is what helps me realize – I never had any worth. At least I never had a need to seek worth, because I’ve always had access to it. Simply through God’s grace and sacrifice, which compels me to recognize my faults, and live for him.

So now I live life through that filter, a redeemed man of God who needs not seek worth, but live in God’s worth! I live my life filtered by God’s priorities, his grace, and love.

The hardships of this life are enormous, many of which I have been through and often felt angered at God for one selfish reason or another. From sexual abuse, family crisis, deaths, relational crisis, depression, and just about everything else you can imagine in the lives of those around me. It isn’t because God has protected me, nor is it some super power, nor is it because I’m smarter than the next person. The victory I have experienced is all due to the fact that I and we have made it a priority to put God first, every yes or no we say is because we have filtered it against our walk with God.

Of course we fail in this at times, of corse we get overwhelmed and make mistakes. Yet overall because of te intentional decisions to fiter our decisions to God we have been spared the worst of the consequences, consequences I know would be devastating.

How I see it

When I look at people, life, the Church,

Through the eyes of how I know & understand Christ, God, the Holy Spirit

Then I see beauty & life

I see things differently

I ‘spose because I’ve seen a lot of terrible things

Many of these things I would rather never see again

In fact I contend with God to only see these things because of Him

Because of these things people are different to me

People, all people, even you, and even the guy trashed from the party

And even, the guy who reeks of alcohol and body odor in the “free rail zone”

They all have a warm spot in my heart, even the people who have caused the deepest hurt

This is all true, not because it’s some warm fuzzy ideal

But because it’s exactly what my God has given me, time and time again

This grace, so amazing, so unchanging, so undeserved, this is what floods my soul

When my soul is flooded, and my heart is filled, I can only be drawn to the souls of all.

He is my king.

Cringe

Some thoughts from my Monday morning commute on the TriMet number 9 bus… mobile post, might not make any sense.

Do you have memories of things you’ve done or said that make you cringe? Maybe it’s just me that thinks back on the pas sometimes and wishes I could just erase some of these things. I know that it is these things which make me who I am, so in the end I’m ok with it. Although some of the following memories have some strong emotions of embarrassment, I’m listing them anyway because these are in the past and I need to just lay it down and be who o know I am, whether or not I’m embarrassed. Most of these things are little, but for some reason or another they have or do provoke some feelings that made/make me cringe.

2nd grade – kicking my desk when I got frustrated with math.

2nd grade – lying to a teacher about a jump rope being stolen, getting another (“popular”) classmate in trouble.

5th grade – Not understanding my math homework, and then getting a “white slip”, which was the highest in fraction, for not completing it.

6th grade – Crying after my English teacher mistakenly accused me of lying about finishing a book when indeed I had.

7th grade – being told by one of my best friends “to away, don’t sit here” at lunch on the first day of school and my very emotional response.

In more recent years it’s been a number of speaking opportunities that have haunted me, one was just last spring, mostly because I didn’t receive any productive feedback nor has anyone offered to have me speak again, total insecurity here, I know I need to just askand learn.

I always cringe when I don’t follow up on things I’m leading, I hate it when I fail in my own values, I know I’m just human In a mesed up world.

Love overcomes performance, that’s the bottom line, live it, think it, speak it.

A real post, for real

So I have no idea who even reads this on any regular basis… apparently there are still about 43 people subscribed to the feed… so someone cares 🙂

Now, what do I have to say these days? I guess a lot, but not a lot. There are a lot of hot topics out there, many of which have all kinds of commentary you can easily find. So what can I talk about that is unique? Different? Relevant? – that’s my challenge. A lot of people simply don’t like to read a lot, I myself find it hard to read long posts. So how do I write something that I myself would read? That’s my conundrum.

So I’ll talk about myself, it’s easy enough, and might be interesting to someone, and certainly isn’t repeating anything anyone else is talking about….

I’ll keep it short, and hopefully give some extra time to each point in following posts… firstly, I’m finding myself come full circle in a lot of things, but mostly in my faith in Jesus. For the past few years I kept looking for “more”, to find some kind of “better” experience, a life with Christ that was “more” like the early church. In this pseudo journey for “more” I have discovered that I had it all along, it’s just that I was looking for others to do it, when in reality, it only takes me to have a church experience that I desired.

You might ask, what kind of things was I desiring? Authenticity, generosity, genuine love, and hearts after God. It seems that somewhere along the way I forgot that God used humans, people who make mistakes. Over the past few years I have realized that those things that I listed are all it takes to see the magnificent things of the early Church show up in today’s Church. The key to provoking that kind of culture in our churches? Humility, repentance, and forgiveness!

Any group of believers who have humility, repentance, and forgiveness as their foundation for relationship building, will experience the authenticity, generosity, genuine love, and heart of God in people, just as the early Church did. This is what I believe Jesus meant when he said “and even greater things you will do”. What’s greater than healing the sick, raising the dead, and the repentance of sin? It’s people living in harmony, love, and for each other rather than themselves!