Category: God

Hard core community

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For all the talk I see about community it sure seems to be an elsuive idea. I have tasted and seen kingdom based community for my own eyes, and I’ve seen people get excited and the idea never materialize. If we are going to be intentional with our lives then I propose we be intentional with our community.

Community is not simply saying hi to our neighbors a few times a week, nor is it an exclusive club of Christians gathering from time to time to just hang out, talk a little, and go about their lives. Community needs to be about the society and culture we live in, and have kingdom influence. How? By first observing the world around us, seeing the needs of those around us that we know God can meet, and seeking his will about how we as believers can meet those needs. Second, loving the community for who they are, living in their midsts and intentionally be God’s hand and feet through simple offers of compassion and benevolence. Thirdly, offering God’s truth in all things, speaking his life giving grace, peace, hope, and love into the community around us.

Sounds all nice and neat, doesn’t it? Well it’s not, the reality is that this takes a grand amount of patience and labor. In my own observance, many people are not willing to sacrifice and suffer their time and money unless they “know” for sure there will be fruit (aka a return on their investment).
I challenege this school of thought, not so that we waste our resources but that we actually be wise in God’s way and take his risks to heart. His ways are higher than ours, and he wins our battles. The victory is already his! I am willing to say (through experience) that stepping out into the unknown to touch the lives of those around you, weather they are people you know or not, will always produce fruit. It may or may not be tangible, and that’s where we begin to doubt.

Community will look different from place to place, but it will always include sacrificial love and truth. I really wish we weren’t all locked up in our detached homes, fenced off from the world, because if we lived lives where we had to cross paths with “the others” we might just see God do something! We might actually hear his voice prompt us to be community. We must surrender all of that to God, and continue on, good and faithful servant.

Good work ethics are demotivating

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Picture was taken at the central Library MAX stop downtown Portland waiting for the train home. Mobile post ahead, spelling and typo errors ahead…

I work with a lot of people, both in ministry and in my vocation. A lot of these people are fantastic hard working people, and…. well a lot are just not. Now when I say hard working I’m not talking about the work-aholics, that’s a different breed. I’m talking about people who have good work ethics, people who take on what is theirs, don’t blame shift, and look for solutions. When people opperate like this then I’m glad to work along side them, past mistakes, and help accomplish the bigger goal.

When I’m working with the type of person who is constantly blame shifting, covering up mistakes, and not looking for solutions then I begin to get frustrated. This is always a hard line to walk, because ultimately I need to walk the high road and love the person through the conflict without enabling them to live/work on in dysfunction. The issue and temptation I run into is paitience within myself to work with God and find the teachable moments.

Whether Christian or not, people are in one of these two categories, to varrying degrees of course. Living in harmony as Paul instructed the Romans is key to my walk with Jesus, so a value I live out is having a strong work ethic, working alongside others who don’t share that is frustrating, but not a license to micro manage, freak out, or ignore the issues. Nor is it the time to become demotivated and give up on humanity, it’s exactly the opposite, it’s time to act and be who I’m called to be and work in my skills and gifts.

A little bit of throw up

Man I’m tired of filtering what I write (actually, most of the time it’s filtered completely out before I even write, hence the sound of crickets around here).  There’s been a lot going on in my life, all of it is “good” – but that’s a very relative term.  My “good” stuff has mostly smelled like vomit though.  Now, I’m sure you’re trying to figure out how good stuff can smell like vomit, trust me, when you walk with God, sometimes good smells like vomit.  You see, it’s taken a lot of bad smelly stuff to realize that I need to work on some (more) things in my life.  I like being stretched, but man, recently this stretching has taken me to a new level of trusting in God.  Okay, so I’ve said a lot without really saying anything.

So the stink that I keep referring to are things where God has shown me where I fail to walk in the person he created me to be.  Places where I still shy away from being the real man of God I need to be.  None of these things are a “should be” they are a “called to be”.  What I mean by all of this; is that when I choose to walk in the picture that God has called me to be, then the stink is much more mild.  But when I just walk around, operating in reaction to people and circumstances, then my stomach starts to get upset and vomit starts spewing onto those around me.  Envisioning myself as the called child of God takes burning the stink out, making mistakes, but most of all love.  Walking in God’s love, with each decision produces a life of hope and makes each day something to enjoy.

I want to write more, I miss it, but for some reason I feel like I need to filter my thoughts.  Here’s to hoping that goes away…

Filtering life

A mobile post from the ride home, enjoy.

There is really only so much we can do in life, so making “life worth it” can seem overwhelming and unobtainable. There are a lot of different approaches, and to varying degrees I’ve watched many ways fail to bring about the “worth” people talk about. I’ve been a swinger (no not that kind) just rolling around from one thing to the next, unsure why I’m doing what I’m doing.

Now it’s different, there’s meaning, and sometimes that very meaning is what helps me realize – I never had any worth. At least I never had a need to seek worth, because I’ve always had access to it. Simply through God’s grace and sacrifice, which compels me to recognize my faults, and live for him.

So now I live life through that filter, a redeemed man of God who needs not seek worth, but live in God’s worth! I live my life filtered by God’s priorities, his grace, and love.

The hardships of this life are enormous, many of which I have been through and often felt angered at God for one selfish reason or another. From sexual abuse, family crisis, deaths, relational crisis, depression, and just about everything else you can imagine in the lives of those around me. It isn’t because God has protected me, nor is it some super power, nor is it because I’m smarter than the next person. The victory I have experienced is all due to the fact that I and we have made it a priority to put God first, every yes or no we say is because we have filtered it against our walk with God.

Of course we fail in this at times, of corse we get overwhelmed and make mistakes. Yet overall because of te intentional decisions to fiter our decisions to God we have been spared the worst of the consequences, consequences I know would be devastating.

How I see it

When I look at people, life, the Church,

Through the eyes of how I know & understand Christ, God, the Holy Spirit

Then I see beauty & life

I see things differently

I ‘spose because I’ve seen a lot of terrible things

Many of these things I would rather never see again

In fact I contend with God to only see these things because of Him

Because of these things people are different to me

People, all people, even you, and even the guy trashed from the party

And even, the guy who reeks of alcohol and body odor in the “free rail zone”

They all have a warm spot in my heart, even the people who have caused the deepest hurt

This is all true, not because it’s some warm fuzzy ideal

But because it’s exactly what my God has given me, time and time again

This grace, so amazing, so unchanging, so undeserved, this is what floods my soul

When my soul is flooded, and my heart is filled, I can only be drawn to the souls of all.

He is my king.

Lying to yourself

I have a lot of principles, values, and priorities that I like to tell myself I live by.  Things like honesty, loving others, being a good listener, integrity, authenticity, etc.  Many of which are of course motivated by my relationship with God.  However, I can say and proclaim as many of these things as I want until I’m blue in the face… none of it matters.  None of it matters unless I’m actually doing these things, being true to them.. Now this sounds pretty harsh, even borderline religious or legalistic.

I don’t like lying to myself, I don’t like saying I am one thing, when really I am not.  I’ll go as far as to say, if you call yourself a Christian, if you have a relationship with Jesus, and you’re not living out your values… then you’re probably experiencing some fairly stressful feelings and situations.  I say this because every time I do something against what I value, I feel it, I feel the stress of being at odds with myself (normally by being grumpy, rude, mean to my wife).  So, this is why I actually schedule my values into my calendar, so that I can live out my priorities, and nurture my values.  In this structure I experience life, fellowship, friendship, love, knowledge, family, and all within balance.  It’s freedom, even though at first it’s discipline, but discipline leads to freedom, trust me, I’ve lived it.  Don’t lie to yourself.

A real post, for real

So I have no idea who even reads this on any regular basis… apparently there are still about 43 people subscribed to the feed… so someone cares 🙂

Now, what do I have to say these days?  I guess a lot, but not a lot.  There are a lot of hot topics out there, many of which have all kinds of commentary you can easily find.  So what can I talk about that is unique?  Different?  Relevant? – that’s my challenge.  A lot of people simply don’t like to read a lot, I myself find it hard to read long posts.  So how do I write something that I myself would read?  That’s my conundrum.

So I’ll talk about myself, it’s easy enough, and might be interesting to someone, and certainly isn’t repeating anything anyone else is talking about….

I’ll keep it short, and hopefully give some extra time to each point in following posts… firstly, I’m finding myself come full circle in a lot of things, but mostly in my faith in Jesus.  For the past few years I kept looking for “more”, to find some kind of “better” experience, a life with Christ that was “more” like the early church.  In this pseudo journey for “more” I have discovered that I had it all along, it’s just that I was looking for others to do it, when in reality, it only takes me to have a church experience that I desired.

You might ask, what kind of things was I desiring?  Authenticity, generosity, genuine love, and hearts after God.  It seems that somewhere along the way I forgot that God used humans, people who make mistakes.  Over the past few years I have realized that those things that I listed are all it takes to see the magnificent things of the early Church show up in today’s Church.   The key to provoking that kind of culture in our churches?  Humility, repentance, and forgiveness!

Any group of believers who have humility, repentance, and forgiveness as their foundation for relationship building, will experience the authenticity, generosity, genuine love, and heart of God in people,  just as the early Church did.  This is what I believe Jesus meant when he said “and even greater things you will do”.  What’s greater than healing the sick, raising the dead, and the repentance of sin?  It’s people living in harmony, love, and for each other rather than themselves!

Giving

So often we talk about surrendering and giving God “everything”, yesterday on my (very long) ride home I began to think of all the possibilities of life… if I gave “everything” – it was amazing. It is frustrating to think of how it could be, and how much my selfish pride keeps me from doing it.

Many times I feel stuck due to the “responsibilites” of this world – which in a way are part of my “giving everything” – if I’m going to “give” everything I better give these responsibilites to God as well. I think giving him “everything” must include giving him our attitudes towards work, our spouses, our relationships, and all the other responsibilities – and then allowing him to work in those things – not running from them.

It’s time to surrender this stuff, to give God my worries, frustrations, and all the details – I can’t do it anyway. At the same time I have to see what he is asking and how.

What I’m thinking…

One of the many reasons I don’t write on here anymore is that, as self-focused as it sounds, I think far to hard about what people may think about what I’m writing.  So, I end up canceling out any thoughts with silly weird arguments about why not to post something.  The whole idea behind this blog in the first place was simply to write about what I was thinking, about life, about God, about people, etc… But with more and more of what I (we) are doing in the future, I feel I need to filter things far more than I would like.

I suppose the challenge is that I should write in a way that I still express myself honestly, and at the same time in a way that honors the God that I so claim to follow and love.  Yet, many times the things I’m thinking about are about the disappointments of life, which are all quite real, and need to be discussed.  I know there are plenty of people who appreciate the reality, but I also know (all to well) there are people who want to “make sure God is involved” – and then there’s the “You’re going to be a missionary, right?, YES!  So, don’t you think you should be positive and focused on God… well yes… but…”  I understand these comments, I really do, and at the same time I strive to not be religious and not be giving pat, common, text-book, Christian answers.  God is far bigger than that.

So here I start on a very long, overdue, rant and soap box… however I will start with the core of my God-given heart’s desire in life….  I wrote the following and realized it was a bit convoluted, but maybe it will start some conversation, and then I can clarify with posts to address the questions and/or discussion that comes – or maybe it will just sit here and I’ll create conversation in my head and post my thoughts as I go…

The strongest passion I have for others is that they be encouraged in their walk with God, and not just in the private aspect of a relationship with God but in the ministry piece.  In fact, sometimes I wonder if our walk with God is truly full unless we are actively ministering to those around us.  I often find myself frustrated, disappointed, and concerned for the “Church” do to the apparent lack of concern for caring (ministry) to others.  Then again, I find myself equally frustrated by myself because I myself do not step up when I know that God has given me many opportunities.

So, as a person who is fully aware of what God is calling me, and my family to do, I am constantly looking for ways to encourage others to trust God, and take risks.  Many times throughout biblical stories we see the characters faced with life-changing risks.  The blessings that come from following through, and having the discipline to honor God with our decisions, are more than I could ever explain in a short posting here.

The challenge every person faces come not in the big decisions, but in the everyday decisions, the choices that are presented to us when we first greet our co-workers in the morning, or how we engage in conversation with our peers.  Yet there are so many forces which drive our interactions with those around us, everything from how our parents treated us, how “popular” we were in school, to poor choices and uncontrollable life circumstances that eat at our soul and take us off track.

Most of what I write is simply me processing the events that I witness, in the Church and outside the Church, as I see people of all statuses and of all walks I am humbled to know God as I do.  I am challenged each day with the ideas of why has God given us, my family,  the joy of having such amazing family and friends…. while others are seemingly aloof, floating around in this world without any connection points.   Then I am reminded that it was because someone, at some point, obeyed God, and reached out, took a while to minister to someone, who did the same, who eventually ministered to me, and the same to Alexis.

I thank God for those that have this discipline, this passion, for I am eternally grateful.  I wish to not be like these people because of these great things, I wish to do these things because our God has an amazing and wonderful life to give us, when we surrender to him.  This is the heart of everything I am, want to be, and will be.  I have nothing to be discouraged by, as long as I am choosing to obey and discipline myself… even then God’s grace is sufficient if I fail to meet “the mark”.

Let those that have ears hear.  May those in the Church be encouraged to take the risks, the “lost” have the choice, only if they experience it though, we also have a choice – but I’m not so sure we can easily forget (that voice is pretty consistent) when we choose to ignore it.

God is messy

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about my current walk with God – and my current assesment is that God is messy, but that’s because he’s dealing with messy people.  There is so much jacked up stuff in this world, and for me, the picture just keeps growing and getting bigger and bigger.  My heart is overwhelmed by the mess.  The only thing that keeps me going is worshipping God, allowing him to show me his love, and with every love encounter with him I can not do anything but worship him.

There is a lot I could write about, so much, so many people and things that are a burden right now.  None of it is “bad”, it’s all just big, messy, and hard to deal with.  This messy God, is a great and amazing God, and for whatever reason, this is a season of learning all about what he sees, and it isn’t all good- it’s heart wrenching.  Yet, knowing these things, feeling what I believe he feels, humbles me to the point of nearly constant prayer and worship.  My feelings and emotions are raw, and they are hard to explain, I feel sad, angry, and overwhelmed with love all at the same time.