God – Page 3 – No Small Talk

and His kingdom come…

Just about every day, my thoughts are invaded with the idea of “His will be done and his Kingdom come” and I always start to think what on earth does that look like? I think I get the “His will be done” part – for the most part, listening, and obeying what I hear him ask me to do.

But this “and his Kingdom come…” part is what I get stuck on. Now someone could easily “go logical” on us and say, well if you are letting his will be done (listening and obeying) then his kingdom is advancing… Yes, that makes sense, yet I believe there is a lot more than just a simple cause and effect formula to this kingdom thing.

For me the Kingdom of God here on earth “as it is in heaven” is well beyond my understanding, it’s more emotional, more carnal. The Kingdom is the Church, the people, the relationships, all of which are connected by the ribbon of God flowing through our lives. The Kingdom is here on earth when I stop and take a moment to pray for my friends, when I have coffee with someone, when I text a word of encouragement. These things to me are letting the Kingdom come. Yes those things are also His will living through my life. For the Kingdom to come, his will must be done. For his will to be done, the kingdom must come.

If a day goes by and a relationship isn’t touched, a soul not encouraged, a person’s thoughts not effected, or a prayer not offered up on behalf of another – then I wonder “have I let the Kingdom come today?”

Let his kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven….. as it is in heaven – that’s my next idea to ponder.

Voices of the past

I have been reading Don Miller’s “Blue like Jazz” for a week or so now, on my daily 1 hour commute each way. The MAX can be quite the cultural experience, and for the most part I like it. But combine a challenging book such as “Blue like jazz” and you might just end up frustrated. You see, this book gets to the core of what Christianity really is, really “should” be, the spiritual piece, not the standard life-behavior rhetoric we usually hear.

But this triggers voices inside that are at odds with my origins. First of all I’m suddenly convicted of not caring for people when I thought I did – my head does, I know what is right but if I don’t actually do it – then do I really believe it? For example, there was a guy who got on the train at the same place as I, he was quite confused, a little slow, and kept bothering people on how to get to some place he had written on a piece of paper. The whole time I heard God telling me to help him, possibly go with him the whole way to his destination… but the voice of fear said otherwise, and I kept reading the book – which threw me into a tornado of thoughts, and made me realize how much I fear rejection – even though I don’t let it emotionally bother me – but that’s probably because I don’t let it happen anymore.

None the less I am sure God put another person on the train – because moments later another guy got on and sat next to the confused dude, and within minutes he was describing to him in details how the Portland Transit system works, and where to get off to get to his destination (which apparently didn’t make sense, something like take the Yamhill bus to 10, and 10 to Yamhill… ummm). Anyway – this is just a very small example of the thoughts going on from about 6am to 7am and 3:30 to 4:30 these days.

Parasitical Christianity

A couple weeks ago I was watching a DVR recorded episode of Fringe, a newer sci-fi in its first season on Fox, similar to the X-Files but instead of paranormal kind of investigations, it’s fringe science, the study of bio engineering and things like that. This episode I was watching was about an agent who had a very large parasite (engineered from microscopic size) wrapped around his heart and living off him. The thing that struck out to me about this parasite was that it had “roots” that went up the blood vessels and into the IV drip. Essentially this was slowly dehydrating the host body and slowly killing him (which is where my little analogy breaks down, but you’ll get the point).

I think God would love to have us as parasites, to be fully dependent on him, of which we are. I know that when I try to make it on my own I begin to die – much like a parasite. I find the following definitions of parasite very much the definition I would like to see my life with God be.

1. an organism that lives on or in an organism of another species, known as the host, from the body of which it obtains nutriment.

2. a person who receives support, advantage, or the like, from another or others without giving any useful or proper return, as one who lives on the hospitality of others.

3. (in ancient Greece) a person who received free meals in return for amusing or impudent conversation, flattering remarks, etc.

Greek: parásītos one who eats at another’s table, feeding beside

God is our host – we are invited to eat at his table w/o any return to him. Yet out of this abundance comes a heart of generosity and we are compelled to do the same unto others. So do I live on my own, attempting to live w/o the bloodline I should? Or do I leech myself onto the Host of hosts and the King of kings?

Being real

A while back I wrote about how much I loathe the fund raising process, the ups and downs, the stress, and everything else that goes along with something based on faith. Still, I have a philosophy about my Christian walk that I believe is important, and it’s being real. While it may have a whiny tone, it may be jaded at times, I find it freeing to express myself (without slandering, hurting, or otherwise giving bad connotations about others), my doubts, my concerns, my opinions, and in this I find blessing from God. I find that my relationship is something based communication and love, not just “knowledge”, pat answers, and “should haves”.

I believe too that because of this, this creates a relationship with God that I feel is real. I am always aware of his voice, because I’m always telling him things, and hearing back how (at times) rediculous I am in my rantings. Yet, it’s always a fatherly kind of thing (and sometimes motherly, in fact).

So what’s the result of all this? Amazing trust, and a God who never fails to build my faith in Him. Over the past 24 hours we have recieved four donations to our trip (which we leave on Saturday for) totaling, get this, $1,950! I know it’s because I keep putting my faith where it belongs, even though my mind doubts, God knows our weaknesses, and He knows our stregnths, and he works in both! Amen? YES.

God has spoken!

I know this is long, but it’s a huge revelation for me, if you want to know where I am, to know more than just a tweet or facebook status update, take the time to read this. Shall we know each other for the love we show to each other? Are we known for the love we have for each other? Let’s start, one person at a time.

Last night as I was laying in bed, attempting to fall asleep, I could not stop thinking about our upcoming trip to Poland. Then I felt the Lord telling me, stop, be at peace, do not fear, everything will be okay. Then I thought to myself, that’s just the pat Christian response, thinking I’m not trusting or having enough faith in God…

And then I “really” heard him say “go throughout your day tomorrow and do not talk about, nor dwell on this coming trip” and so I tried my best, I had a few wondering thoughts, and did my best to think of other things (such as driving, doing my job, etc). It has been really hard, very hard.

The other thing I heard God say was “I’ll have an answer for you tomorrow” (that being today) and that answer I believe came in my morning devotion, but in a way, could still be coming.

In my devotional I read Jeremiah 51:20-23:

20 “Youare my battle-ax and sword,”
      says the Lord.
   “With you I will shatter nations
      and destroy many kingdoms.
21 With you I will shatter armies-
      destroying the horse and rider,
      the chariot and charioteer.
22 With you I will shatter men and women,
      old people and children,
      young men and maidens.
23 With you I will shatter shepherds and flocks,
      farmers and oxen,
      captains and officers.

I felt God say to me – that is you, you are my battle-ax, you and your wife, your family, I will use to battle the enemy’s schemes, lies, and strongholds in Poland. Wow, thanks God! This is just what I needed, exactly the motivation.

But wait! There’s more!

The next passage to read in my devotion was 3rd John, and verses 5-11 answered exactly the question I’ve had about fund raising (what’s right, what’s wrong, how do we fund raise? Is it right to ask so much? etc, etc, etc). You see, verses such as Acts 20:33-35, and 2 Corinthians 11:9, have plagued my thoughts, and made me doubt the whole fund raising process. Then I think “we’re not asking from those we’re serving, from those we’ll be ministering to” (Paul made it clear not to ask or be a burden to those whom he was ministering to, for some reason people miss this distinction, and see that seeking support from your own church is in the same vain as what Paul says in those scriptures). Still the enemy attacks, and brings doubts to my mind…

Then in 3rd John: 5-11 I read the following:

5 Dear friend, you are being faithful to God when you care for the traveling teachers who pass through, even though they are strangers to you. 6 They have told the church here of your loving friendship. Please continue providing for such teachers in a manner that pleases God. 7 For they are traveling for the Lord,and they accept nothing from people who are not believers.8 So we ourselves should support them so that we can be their partners as they teach the truth.

9 I wrote to the church about this, but Diotrephes, who loves to be the leader, refuses to have anything to do with us. 10 When I come, I will report some of the things he is doing and the evil accusations he is making against us. Not only does he refuse to welcome the traveling teachers, he also tells others not to help them. And when they do help, he puts them out of the church.

11 Dear friend, don’t let this bad example influence you. Follow only what is good. Remember that those who do good prove that they are God’s children, and those who do evil prove that they do not know God.

HOW FREEING! I can be free from the shame, guilt, whatever it is/has been that has been discouraging me from seeking people’s partnership in our ministry.

God has spoken! And I know he speaks into your life as well!

Hello, My name is Richard Cranium

Yeah, figure that out. You know what I mean? No? Well the nickname for Richard and where is the Cranium?

Yeah.

So I found myself at the end of my rope last night, I exploded in anger at Alexis about some pretty trivial things, albeit, it was the principle of that matter that I really wanted to address, but of course in my reaction didn’t really communicate that.

Thank God for his grace, we’re both still licking our wounds, and it will take a day or so to feel normal again. Last night was another episode of meticulous and detail oriented verses free spirited attempting to reconcile over things that are not on the radar for either.

Can we ever see the "both" in Christ?

I just read an article that made me sick, sick because it contains both truths and extreams… It also is down right un-graceful, last I checked, Jesus was full of grace. It is true that our God is both vulnerable and has authority. I’m sure that the quote from Mark Driscoll (Mars Hill Church – Seattle) was not meant to be what the article makes it out to be. The gospel makes it clear that Jesus wants us to be both weak and strong, to allow him to fill our weaknesses in faith, and to allow kill our pride (false strength) in order to love him and people.

In my observation most people in the Church have true points to make, but they get stuck on one facet, they see one side to the whole picture. We serve the infinite God, his ways are far beyond our ways, and personally I would rather keep my sights on serving him where I feel passionate instead of being critical of one another. I believe in correction, but overall I believe in pointing people to a more full picture. Let’s make our picture of Jesus bigger than ourselves, He’s vulnerable (weak in some people’s eyes) and strong, beyond our understanding.

Stay moderate, keep a healthy open view, while listening to the extremes, and gracefully speak truth to the areas that bring a more holistic picture of the true God we know.

When God speaks… courage is needed.

This morning at church God spoke to me about some pretty crazy things. Asking for sacrifices in mine and Alexis’ life that just would never make sense on paper. Could certainly use some prayer on these ones. It all fits into our calling, doesn’t change who we are, nor does it look that different on the surface, just requires us to communicate more of our hearts.

Stay tuned, courage is needed because sacrificing hurts.

You want me to what what?

Life (or God, haven’t figure out which yet) seems to keep putting me in the midst of inter-relational unrest lately. For the most part this doesn’t freak me out, but when it happens at work, at home, at church, and amongst friends, than I get a bit fatigued.

It is in these times that I must remind myself and live by God’s prompting that true love is a love that loves through these things. A love that corrects, a love that remains faithful to God’s character, a love that is humble, and a love that has no end. Will everyone accept correction, no, but it is still my responsibility to speak what God puts on my heart, but it is not my responsibility for someone to correct themselves. I will speak truth in love with grace.

I will not continue to throw pearls to the swine, I will not continue to invest in those that can’t accept the loving truth, but I will plant the truth when the soil is fertile. Even when I am fatigued from the energy of it, for relationships are the fabric of life.

Loathing work…

On most weekday mornings I loath the thought of going to work. It isn’t that I hate my job, in fact, my job is pretty cool, my co-workers are great, and most of the work itself is pretty good as well. However, for some reason I just hate the thought of going to work. A lot of it is the fact that I do not find any kind of fulfilment in my work, servers are not the most social entities. There are relational perks, but I must work hard at seeking out those opportunities. As a follower of Christ I find it very difficult to find Christ’s purpose in my line of work. Nonetheless though, He has shown me favor amongst the powers that be, in pay, and in fringe benefits.

However, the loathing continues, but I do praise Him anyway that I have a job, that it provides for my family, and that there is light at the end of the tunnel coming my way. Maybe this is why I’ve been so interested in the theory of Star trek economy (a society without money)… yeah can’t wait for the new Jerusalem!