Love – Page 3 – No Small Talk

If I’m this angered…

God has been giving me a lot of insight into his love of all people. But not the kind of love that the world says, you know what I mean, the one that says we shouldn’t disagree with things like pre-marital co-habitation, pre-marital sex, homosexuality… of course those the some of the “big ones”.. but along the same line, and as God has shown me recently, his heart grieves the same for those that avoid conflict with people, the people pleasers, manipulators, deceivers, etc.

You see, I have a growing anger inside of me, one that I believe is righteous. Everwhere I look I see broken people, inside and outside the Church. I see people who have been pushed over, “in the name of love”, I see people who “in the name of love” argue to the end on politics, I see my friends making choices to please people that just gets lorded over by another person. This anger in me about these things is so hard to walk out though. I want to tell people the truth, but many of them just are not ready for the truth, they see it as shame, hate, or just religion.

If God’s people were to truly focus on Jesus, if they were to struggle listening for him, rather than their world desires, I believe we would see a lot more happening. We must focus our dicipleship efforts on brining people into a healthy understanding of faith, humility, and submission in Jesus.

The paradox

Sometimes it seems that I have an energy inside me that has no way of being expelled. I know life has its ups and downs, and that joy is a choice much of the time. So with this extra energy I feel inside of me I hope to go forward and direct it at people. I want to be intentional with my life, and I do not want to direct this overflow onto myself, at least not this time. There are very important times when we need to direct energy onto ourselves, but for me, right now, that’s not necessary, but it’s not easy either.

Love the hell out

True love of others and of God is loving the hell out of people. Not shaming people, but giving them grace to be human, to be selfish, to be well, full of sin. We simply can not expect people who haven’t given their life and heart to Jesus to understand our values, principles, and morals. We can’t logically argue with a person who doesn’t understand living by faith. We can try, but many times (not all) it’s in vain. Someone who is avidly pro-choice abortion, or pro same-sex marriages, isn’t going to understand the reason having faith nulls those issues.

Faith gives us a much bigger understanding beyond ourselves, it gives us the courage to carry a child even when circumstances are terrible. It gives us the courage to see that our sexuality is more than physical. Faith gives us the understanding that God will take it into his hands when we give it to him. My faith in Him has relieved me of my homosexual desires. Having faith gives us the courage to tithe first and give our offerings even when when our bank account is empty or negative and we still have hundreds of dollars of bills.

So, we must first love people, live in faith, and remind ourselves that Hell is real. When we love people, in and out of the Church, we bring them out of Hell and into the Kingdom of God. That is why Jesus is the savior. He desires for us to be in relationship with him, not stuck in Hell, 100% alone, but with the knowledge that Jesus simply wanted our hearts so he could bless us in our free will to choose him. Those that do end up in Hell, they won’t be partying, they won’t be hanging out with like minded people, they’ll be utterly alone, unable to be in relationship for eternity, yet knowing, and I believe seeing the rest in relationship and living in the glory of God.

So, love the hell out of people. Bless them. Speak the truth. Live in faith. Live the truth of God’s love.

In repsonse to Marcus… let’s go wild.

Marcus got me thinking…
I’m feeling the need to go wild….

Years ago I read John Eldredge’s book “Wild at Heart” and it was, at the time, a great read. However I think I need to read it again. I remember a few of the ideas; being free to adventure and including our loved ones, allowing others to love me and allowing myself to love, while all at the same time taking hold of my inner sense of adventure and stepping out into an unknown world.

Gosh, if only I could hold onto those things each day, and remember that everyday is a step in the adventure God has put us. Every major decision we have made has been with our calling to Poland in mind. From the house we live in, to the job I have, to the ministry’s we volunteer in. Everything is for the great adventure we know we are stepping into.

But on a day to day basis, work in, work out, the adventure is lost. I have small “revivals” in my heart, times where I search far and long across the Internet at houses and apartments to buy in Krak

What freedom and forgiveness ARE NOT

For my generation, especially those that have grown up in the church, or been in it long enough to be jaded by the humanity of it (the imperfect, hypocrites that fill the church) of which they themselves fall into, the idea of

My internal conflictions

A quick list of things that I’m struggling to grasp right now in my life and walk with Jesus.

Raising funds without sounding like a broken record/beggar (see previous post, didn’t the apostles help the beggars though , but they didn’t enable them to continue in poverty, right?)
Dicipling a generation and/or individual people that are not open to confrontation, either they are afraid to confront others about moral issues, or they don’t allow others to confront themselves. The big defense: DON’T JUDGE ME! Where did this reaction start? Where did loving someone into a closer relationship turn into condemnation?
How to love people through differences. I’m a person that loves to disciple people, hates to offend, yet I am a disciple of Jesus, which Jesus naturally offends people. Sometimes I am so passionate about discipling on things like, the importance of living above reproach, all are called to ministry (we all have gifts for the kingdom), the blessing of living and walking in moral authority, that all I want to do is either ring people’s necks who blatantly live lives contrary to this, or I just get depressed and grieve over the state of people I love.
A regular, near daily, prayer-life. A prayer life that focuses on God, and his relationship to me and others, not just a selfish, me-centered prayer life, but one that is about moving forward and listening (such as listening about these four areas).
Added 10:05 – The conflict of our needs, and other’s resources. This is a completely jealous conflict ion, but one none the less that I struggle with. Alexis and I pour a lot of our resources into our calling, our time, our money, and our relationships, it’s all about our calling for discipleship. All around us though we see people spending their time and money on their own desires, cars, houses, that in our opinion (and judgmentally) are well beyond what they need. Why does a single 24 year old need a new Mercedes? Why does a single 25 year old spend over $600 a month in entertainment? Just some thoughts.

So those are the four, now five big things in my life that I feel stuck on right now. I don’t expect to just “get it” one day, I expect though to process through these things, some of them probably for the rest of my life (2 and 3). But I do expect for me to take responsibility in these areas, to do the hard things and ask, to address people on things when I feel conflict yet all in Grace and with the basis that no matter the outcome my care for them won’t change – that my friends is how Jesus lived.

Updated 10:00 am. – Each of these things I think is related to surrender, we/I need to surrender and allow God and his church to do it’s work, unhindered. We have to live as examples, so if we do something that isn’t above reproach – that is against the path that Jesus has called us to live – we must surrender it. It’s not easy, it’s a self-less act that says I will follow my Lord, even though my desire is something different. Sometimes even our God-given desires are not the right path, for the time. I know this, I’ve lived it, I’m living it right now. So instead of crying about it, I’m living my life on the path, and it’s full of blessings! A CHILD! A BABY GIRL. That wouldn’t be such a blessing if I/we had gone on our own whim on our own path.

Glow

There’s this man I know who has very strong convictions, not just “religious” ones, but ones that help people be better people. He normally thinks the best of people and most of the time he sees hope in their lives. As he encounters people he strives to bring them into deeper relationships, most of the time it’s relationships with people that go awry. Sometimes though people have either a philosophical problem, or a knowledge problem when it comes to them and God. It’s these questions that this man has a tough time with, and lately, it seems to be more difficult to address these.

You see, this man is no ordinary man, he’s a disciple, he knows the Lord Jesus, and he loves the Lord with his whole self. Yet, there is a deep dark corner of his life that breaks through all to often. He’s been incredibly open, spilling his entire life story to everyone he ever meets. He’s been honest with those he is closest with. Everyone who knows him usually describes him as a “man of faith” or “a Godly man” – yet he’s not so sure. He’s accepted God’s grace to fill these dark corners. One at a time the light has pierced the darkness and the good news has inhabited those places. But then the bugs come in, the house cleaners leave, and darkness begins to creep back in.

The man screams, he fights, he doesn’t understand why it seems impossible to keep these places in his life filled with God’s light. The voice of the world, the enemy, says life isn’t worth living if you can’t live up to Jesus’ standard. But the spirit makes it clear that live is still, and always, worth living.

This emotional roller coaster he feels is beginning to take its toll, anger, frustration is met with passionate repentance. Repentance is met with overwhelming temptation, temptation is met with the power of God. There is victory in his life, then there is defeat. Victory… defeat… victory… defeat. When does it end?

He screams to his Lord: Father! Father! Why do I feel forsaken? Where does my tempter go? Where is your strength? I “know” you, I live for you. I declare victory in your name, I speak in your authority NO MORE DEFEAT. I want your connection, I want your spirit to fill mine. Praise your name that you would use me, I am but a man, a broken vessel, simply willing to be used by you! Help me oh God, help me to know and understand within my soul the strength which is in my weakness. Change me oh God.

And with that the man sought after the glow, the dim subtle glow deep within his heart. The tiny burning flame that pierced the dark place. He fanned it, and added fuel to it. He sat by it, he listened, he wept, he felt the flames warmth. As if on a bitter cold winter night, in solitude with just his creator, the man stared into the flame and pondered these things.

This man, he is no normal man, this man is a child of God. Any child of God is not normal, he is uniquely crafted for a mission bigger them himself, and far “under qualified” in the the Accuser’s and world’s standards.

One year and a lifetime more to come!

Alexis and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary this past weekend (yesterday was the actual day), it was great! We went to Seaside and Cannon Beach both in Oregon and loved it, the weather was pretty good, although a little overcast (while Portland was baking, today it’s reaching 100!). I’ll post pictures as soon as I think about it, I didn’t even think of using my phone to post pictures and videos, we were just having that much fun 😛

Thanks for all your prayers and support, see you later!

PS. We leave for France/Poland on the 26th, just a couple of weeks! We’ve fund raised $8,000 of the $9,000 we need, the rest is coming out of our own pockets, hopefully a few more donations come in so our time in Poland is free of money stress. Thanks again!

Authentic submission

All I have is my own experience to speak about, but grieves me to see so many people, Christians and not, who don’t understand submission, meekness, and humility. Even the Lord, with all of his power, submitted, was meek and is meek (he even allows us to do our will despite his power), and was/is humble (even though he has all the reason to tell us off).

Some may say that my life looks religious, it’s a far cry from anything religious, I don’t do what I do because I feel guilty, or I might, or I’m trying to “earn my way” for anyone, anything, heaven, nor God. I do what I do because when I do things my way, my life just isn’t full, I find myself climbing and going down, I look around running towards something but ending up where I started, and I try to get close to people and end up further away.

I am submitted to my job, not to “show off”, not even to “move ahead”, I’m submitted because Jesus says to love your neighbor, and when you do, peace is at hand. I am meek, meaning I am confident yet do not overuse what I know or what power I do have, because encouraging others and helping others helps everyone. I would like to say I’m humble, and with most external things I am, I know where I could exert myself but I restrain, because after years (and much more time is needed) of climbing up and going down, I have learned that turning the other cheek, not gloating about myself, and living in a fallen world and not complaining has brought a peace that only comes by living humbly. I mess this up on an almost daily basis, but even catching myself allows His light to shine.

For me, I submit because I have learned that serving others is extremely rewarding, not in a material way (although the Lord has blessed us immensely, and I know it has been because we choose to submit to His will and serve our neighbors, and because he’s gracious, that’s actually the first reason). The blessings of submission lead to life long relationships, peace, understanding, authentic forgiveness, and keep us where we belong, focused on the Lord, Others, and it allows Him to use us and provide for us.

3 Min Poland Update!

I actually timed that it takes just under 3 min to read this, please do 🙂

Hello Everyone,

A quick update on our Poland & France mission trip this summer; we are experiencing God’s financial provision in his amazing ways, last month we raised another $1000 towards the trip, we now need just $2,860 (donation information below). We praise God for his work in all of this, and for the past two trips we have made with East Hill to the U-Turn summer camp to serve and disciple youth. Our excitement grows stronger with each trip, and our love for Poland, her people, and God’s heart for them, grows stronger and more compassionate with each step we take.

This is, to date, the most expensive trip we have made, and in light of this we have done some praying and thinking about future trips. We are currently in the process of applying to be mission team leaders sent out of East Hill. This means that we will be leading teams to Poland on our own, giving us much more flexibility and allowing us to dig in deeper with the relationships we are building. Please pray for us through this process, for discernment in choosing team members, and in casting our vision and passion for our future in Poland. The most exciting part is that we are tentatively building up for a much less expensive trip (currently looks like $1,200 per person, verses the $3,000 per person for this trip) in February/March of 2008. As we plan out the details of this trip we hope to communicate a more focused vision for all of you to tangibly partner in.

Blessings and thanks for your prayerful support,

If you would like to financially support us:
Just $30 from each recipient of this email would pave the way for both of us.

Look to the right for “Poland Mission Information” and click on the PayPal donation button. Sorry not tax-deductible.

For tax deductible donations:
Send a check made out to